Competent criticism

Competent criticism is one after which a person wants to correct what happened through his fault and can do it with your help.

Basic rules of competent criticism

Criticizing — offer. If at a meeting you want to oppose an idea, then either offer your own in return — or be silent.

Do not criticize if you have nothing to offer in return for the person’s behavior.

Somehow my little daughters fought among themselves. I began to inspire them with righteous indignation: “Girls, fighting is not good! You can’t beat your sister! If something is not shared — tell us! Charming creatures listened to me attentively and one of them asked a question: “I realized that fighting is not good. And what is the right thing to do when she takes my doll by force from me, and you are not around? and waiting for an answer. I realized that I’m having a bad day today because I didn’t have a good answer to this question. Do you have it ready? And then I made a vow to myself: if I don’t have a simple solution that I can offer children instead of their quarrels, I don’t swear at children and don’t criticize them.

It is necessary to criticize not then and not in such a way, when and how it is torn from the soul, but in order to get the desired result. Deal with «Because and In order to.» Your guidelines are

• positive: your criticism should give rise to energy, self-confidence, a desire to act↑,
• constructive: not what is bad, but what and how can be done better↑.
• responsibility. You are responsible for the result of your criticism. The result of criticism should not be a person’s desire to defend themselves and strike back, but gratitude for attention and a desire to change (or correct what has been done).

Composition of competent criticism

In order for criticism to be heard and give the desired effect, its composition (formula) must be built in an optimal way. Basic formulas for competent criticism:

• Plus-help-plus,
• Merry ride
• extended criticism,
• Criticism bypasses resistance.
• Criticism expanded to the size of a disassembly: see Prepared disassembly​

See Composition of Criticism for details.

The choice of method and form of criticism