Contents
Negative goal setting
Negative goal setting, or rather, negative goal statement, is a common mistake in formulating your intention. If you say you don’t want it, you haven’t determined what you want yet. And you can only act effectively when you clearly understand what you want.
Out of 10 letters asking for a consultation, 9 contain a request in a negative form: “how to get rid of, how to stop, how to stop, how to ignore …” Negative goal setting is a typical disease of our clients. And our task is to accustom clients, instead of talking about what they don’t like, what they want to get away from, to formulate what they want, what they want to come to. See →
Finding Causes Instead of Finding Solutions
Finding causes is not always a mistake, sometimes it is an absolutely necessary step in finding solutions. If a person is looking for causes instead of looking for solutions, this becomes a mistake. See →
Unrealistic goals and objectives
First of all, these are goals, the fulfillment of which does not depend on you. A goal can only be set in relation to what you can do in it yourself. It makes no sense to set a goal, the achievement of which does not depend on you.
If a client in a consultation formulates a goal like “I want good weather tomorrow”, this goal is clearly not realistic. The weather does not depend on him, he cannot influence it. It’s more correct to set a goal: “I want to not get wet in the rain tomorrow,” and realize it by taking an umbrella with me.
Too voluminous tasks, where it is completely unclear where to start. “My mission in life is to change the world” – great, and where do we start?
To achieve goals, you need to work
When a client thinks through his goals, it is important to bring him to the idea that for this he will need to work. You need to lead him to answer the questions: “What will you do for this? What will be your personal contribution?
Client: I want a good relationship with my wife.
Consultant: What is a good relationship? To love your wife? So you can manage relationships?
- Do I need to clarify with the client what he wants? Clarification is largely needed to motivate the client. If a cheerful and positive young man came to you with the request “I want a good relationship with a girl”, then here you can do without clarification, but what does he mean by a good relationship. He is already focused on the matter, and either has already clarified this issue for himself, or will clarify it along the way. If in front of you a person is lethargic, sour, or a girl, then it is worth clarifying.