Women depend on the attention of other people more than men. Therefore, they prefer to discuss and talk about problems. Previously, friends came to the rescue, today — social networks. We present a male perspective on female solidarity and online support.
“I feel bad, I’m tired, no one is around, tell me something good…” — how much I have read this in social networks. Cries of despair. Usually from women. Men try not to show weakness, unless they are drunk.
I’ve been on social media for a long time, I have a lot of followers. And there is a very specific category of women who always need help. Mostly older women. No, they often do well at work, have children and quite tolerable health. And what is not? There is no happiness. There are millions of unhappy women. Or situationally unlucky. In short, depression (or whatever they call a depressed state).
And then they flock to social media. It is important for a woman to speak, to say what torments her. It’s important to get feedback. It’s important not to feel alone. A woman is a deeply social being. A woman is always a dialogue (although men will start arguing here). Yes, you can do it the old fashioned way — to visit friends or chat with your mother, but your friends are busy, and you don’t want to “load” an elderly mother.
This is a phenomenon of our time, when strangers save us from blues and loneliness
One of my subscribers lost her husband two years ago, sudden death. And she still hasn’t come to her senses. Often she writes about him. Or just saying how devastated she is. We do not know her personally, but I know that she is doing well with work, money, housing. She just gets sick often. And then dozens, or even hundreds of social media users suddenly start writing to her: “Hold on!”, “You are wonderful!”, “We love you very much!”. Seemingly banal words from people she doesn’t even know. But that’s exactly what she needs. She seems to be cured by it. This is a phenomenon of our time, when strangers save us from blues and loneliness. Fortunately, we have an unlimited supply of compassion. We have more of them than oil and gas.
Social media is the greatest invention. They certainly take a lot of our time and effort. Sometimes they get angry. But the trick is that they have long become a collective psychotherapist. In a moment of despair and longing, they can save. I am quite sure that thanks to social networks, many have avoided a fatal step. Maybe someone has already taken a handful of death pills, but suddenly read the comment: “Hey, I was also very sick, I was on the edge, but I survived, and then everything worked out!” And the damned pills crumbled.
Somehow I began to study «mom» chats. Well, those where women discuss their «one-year-olds» and «slow-hearted.» And he made two amazing discoveries. The first is a world in which there are no husbands. That is, occasionally they loom somewhere far away, but only as subjects who are too capricious, but there is no use from them at all. And secondly, this is a place where women sincerely support each other. I’m not talking about advice about children, that goes without saying. But women come there and to cry. After all, there they can be extremely frank, almost all are anonymous, hidden under nicknames. So she put the child to bed, wildly tired, her husband was not around, her mother-in-law tortured her with nit-picking. And she complains to strangers. And everyone rushes to help, the comments grow and grow. No, sometimes there are bores who say something like “it’s her own fault”, but the rest immediately swoop in: stop being clever, a person feels bad!
This female solidarity is amazing. While the men in the networks mumble about politics and hate each other, women save each other.
No matter how much they talk about «strong women» — they are weak, weak, weak. They are anxious, lonely and bad, they do not always know how to cope with this on their own. They don’t even have to complain. Here she sits at home on Friday evening. No one called her to visit, cafe, or at least walk. And she writes: «And advise a good movie about love.» She, maybe, and the movie did not give up. She needs to be talked to. And they begin to pour names, a dialogue is started. She answered: “Oh, well, I watched it, but what else? And what is this about?
Talk to her, talk to her. She really needs it on a gloomy November evening. Save her.