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In order to feel freer, to begin to perceive ourselves and the events of the world around us more openly, we need to understand what individual stereotypes of perception and thinking prevent us from doing this and get rid of them. Psychologist Natalya Garanyan talks about the method of cognitive psychotherapy.
Each of us perceives himself, the people around him and the world in a very special, individual way. And this makes us very different from each other: we don’t just react to a color or sound, we don’t just automatically register the meaning of the words we hear, but we actively choose what is important only to us.
For example, the memories of the spouses about their acquaintance often sound like stories about completely different events: she remembers how both were dressed and what they talked about that day, and he remembers how worried and uncomfortable he felt. Cognitive psychotherapists believe that by understanding how a person perceives and “processes” information, how he forms his own view of the world, it is possible to determine why he encounters specific psychological problems. And, by changing the way of thinking, these problems can be solved.
Game of the mind … with reality
The outstanding American psychologist Aron Beck, the founder of cognitive psychotherapy, combined in his method the ideas of psychoanalysis about the influence of the unconscious on our thoughts and actions and behaviorists that a new type of human reactions to external events can be taught. Aron Beck believed that psychological problems arise due to the fact that we make incorrect conclusions that can greatly distort real events.
In addition, each of us not only perceives and evaluates the situation, but also mentally continuously comments on what he thinks about, what he feels. Such comments Beck called “automatic thoughts” and believed that they can also be the source of our experiences and inappropriate behavior. All passions and painful emotions arise from wrong conclusions. We build cause and effect relationships, but they are just a game of our mind, and therefore can be erroneous. It’s not that the world is bad, argued Aron Beck, but that we see it as such.
Today, Aron Beck’s cognitive therapy is one of the main methods of the cognitive-behavioral approach in psychotherapy, which is effective in working with many psychological problems.
Who needs it
Cognitive therapy is effective in dealing with many personal problems: anxiety, self-doubt, difficulties in establishing relationships, eating disorders … Helps those who have experienced violence, stress. The method of cognitive therapy can be applied both in individual work and in work with families.
Take a different look
How we think ultimately determines how we feel, how we treat ourselves and others, how we make decisions, and how we act. For example, upon discovering that a new acquaintance is taciturn, some will explain this as a reluctance to communicate and give up trying to establish contact. Others will perceive silence as evidence of shyness and will try to encourage the interlocutor. And still others will not attach any importance to how a person speaks, but will pay more attention to his appearance. If a person sees only one facet in a situation, snatches out only familiar features in the stream of events, this impoverishes his life, deprives him of freedom of choice and can lead to unpleasant misunderstandings.
22-year-old Svetlana felt a strong resentment towards everyone she came into contact with. One day, the father-in-law remarked: “What a pale little thing you are!” These words seemed insulting: for her, they meant that the interlocutor did not respect her – “after all, they don’t talk to women like that.” And in other situations, she took offense every time she thought she had been treated without due respect. The store clerk didn’t smile, the teacher didn’t set the test “automatically” – Svetlana seemed to be specifically looking for something to be offended by, and, of course, she found it. It took her several months of work with a psychotherapist to stop seeing evil intent in other people’s actions and begin to react more calmly.
One-sided interpretation of events, distortions of thinking, as a rule, are accompanied by unpleasant experiences – fear, irritation, resentment, guilt. Unsubstantiated generalizations: “If a friend hurt me, then all men are traitors” and polarized thinking: “Either hit or miss” (either perfectly good or disastrously bad) limit our perception. Personification is another way of perception (when a person takes everything that happens personally: “She frowns – I did something wrong …”), which makes life unbearable. At the same time, each of us, having got rid of such stereotypes of thinking, is able to look at the event from different points of view, to see it in its entirety.
Stages of work
The client, together with the psychotherapist, explores under what circumstances the problem manifests itself: how “automatic thoughts” arise and how they affect his ideas, experiences and behavior. He learns to soften rigid beliefs, to see different facets of a problem situation. Homework – exercises offered by the therapist allow the client to consolidate new skills. So gradually he learns, without the support of a therapist, to live in accordance with new, more flexible views.
Cognitive therapy is usually short-term (from 5-10 to 24 sessions 1-2 times a week). The number of meetings depends on the willingness of the client to work, on the complexity of the problem and the conditions of his life.
Where does this thought come from?
In childhood, when we study the world, some conclusions and connections become the most important for us and further determine our ideas about how people should behave, how we should interpret their actions, how we should act in certain situations. When these beliefs are too general and categorical (for example, “All people should be kind” or “If I can’t do the best, then I’m a failure”), they limit our freedom of choice, deprive us of the ability to realistically evaluate ourselves and those around us, and do not allow us to be ourselves. It is important for a cognitive therapist in his work to understand: how, under the influence of what events, such beliefs were formed? To do this, he analyzes the past of the client, including his childhood experience.
32-year-old Marina physically felt very fragile, worried about any, the most insignificant ailment. As a child, she suffered the usual set of childhood illnesses. Where did anxiety come from? During psychotherapy, it turned out that the pediatrician in the clinic every time met her with the words: “Here we got a bouquet of diseases …”
Over time, the mother quit her job and devoted herself to treating her daughter. Long hours spent with doctors, endless visits to treatment rooms made Marina believe that she was really seriously and hopelessly ill. Once she heard her father say that he wanted a second child, and her mother screamed loudly: “You are crazy, we already have a disabled child!”
She lived with this self-image. She managed to regain strength and feel like a healthy person only after, during psychotherapy, she gradually saw her life differently: Marina graduated from mathematical and music schools, then a difficult university. She was finally able to give up her childhood beliefs about her illness and stopped ignoring her huge energy resource.
However, our beliefs can be very stable (rigid): in working with a cognitive therapist, we are not always able to completely change them, but we can become more open to alternative ideas, learn to behave more flexibly.
Exercise “Fifth Column”
By analyzing what happens to us in a problem situation, we can learn to respond differently.
Draw a sheet of paper into five columns. In the first, describe the problem, for example: “I’m afraid to speak in public.” In the second, note what feelings you have in this situation (anxiety, shame). Try to catch the “automatic” thoughts that arise (“I can’t speak clearly and distinctly”) and write them down in the third column. In the fourth column, write down what beliefs led you to have these “automatic thoughts.” For example, you are sure that “all people laugh at those who are insecure.” Then, in the fifth column, enter the cons—short and concise statements that challenge the statements in the fourth column. For example, “If I make a mistake, nothing terrible will happen” or “I am able to explain to others what I want.” Use these statements as support for a new way of interpreting problem situations. Repeat these phrases to yourself to stop the flow of “automatic thoughts”.
Open conversation
From the very beginning, a cognitive therapist “plays with open cards”: he not only discusses his problem with the client, but also talks about its possible causes, about how it can be dealt with. 44-year-old Ekaterina, who sought help for depression and was confident in the exceptional nature of her problem, on the instructions of a psychotherapist, began to look for information about famous people who suffered from this disorder. Almost half of the classics of Russian culture were on the list. This fact amused her, talking about him, she exclaimed: “There are too many of us like that!” The realization that her case was not extraordinary was a turning point in therapy and enabled Ekaterina to cope with her depression.
The therapist, a patient and benevolent partner, explores with the client how a misinterpretation of events generates emotional, physiological, and behavioral responses, that is, how a problem arises. And above all, he believes that each person is able to look at the situation differently.
Reserve for the future
The goal of cognitive therapy, in the words of the philosopher Bertrand Russell, is “to break free from the tyranny of early beliefs.” After all, they are not biologically determined (like, for example, eye color), which means that we can change, master new behavior, become more flexible in perceiving ourselves and other people. Of course, unpleasant events and experiences cannot be completely excluded from life.
The task of cognitive therapy is precisely to teach a person to understand how he comprehends the situation, interprets it, what he notices and what he ignores, why such an assessment causes him certain feelings and actions. This allows you to cope with yourself without cutting off the path to solving the problem, without depriving yourself of contact with other people.
About expert
Natalya Garanyan — cognitive and family therapist, senior researcher at the Moscow Research Institute of Psychiatry.