Closer to happiness, away from stress: 20 tips

Many people know that gratitude helps to feel happier and more resilient to stress. But once we begin this practice, we often run into a lack of topics—it’s hard for us to go beyond the few ideas that lie on the surface. “Have you thought about how great it is, for example, that we have food delivery and hot dishes can arrive even in bad weather? How much do you love your home or pet? asks clinical psychologist Alice Boyes. “If you need inspiration, try building on these 20 questions.”

1. What are you grateful for at this stage in your life?

“I, for one, am grateful to have experienced impostor syndrome early and dealt with self-doubt,” Boyes writes. “And for the fact that, based on my experience, I am already writing the third book — and now it is much easier for me than when I worked on the first one.”

2. What hard lesson are you grateful for?

A situation that taught you an unpleasant lesson can become a prevention of more serious problems. Perhaps the fine reminded you of the importance of respecting the speed limit and not creating an emergency.

3. What relationships make you feel stable?

Perhaps you work under an adequate supervisor, or you can always rely on a nanny for your children.

4. What trait are you grateful for?

Conscientiousness, patience, sociability, easygoing… Understanding that you were born this way, you can learn to be grateful that these traits help you in life.

5. Who would you call a teacher or mentor?

Maybe you have someone who helped you succeed professionally, and his lessons still help you navigate the situation and make the right decisions.

6. What are you grateful to your parents for?

Perhaps one of them taught you how to cook or set an inspiring example. Or maybe he introduced me to nature and taught me to notice its beauty and enjoy it.

7. Do you have someone whose recommendations you rely on?

It’s nice when there are people nearby who share our interests or tastes and recommend good music, books, movies, plays, restaurants, TV shows, podcasts, and so on.

8. What are you thankful for your children right now?

“Personally,” Boyes writes, “I am grateful to have a baby who is still childishly charming and is becoming more and more independent. I am also grateful for the opportunity to watch her imagination develop. For example, while drawing something, she simultaneously writes stories about these pictures, and I really like to listen to them.”

9. What stressor are you thankful for making it a thing of the past?

You may have completed a difficult project, graduated from school, made a major purchase decision, gone through a reorganization, moved to a new computer system, changed jobs, moved into a new apartment, or helped a loved one through a difficult time.

10. Who makes you happy when you meet?

A colleague, a cashier at a nearby supermarket or a neighbor — we can be grateful for the good mood of people who always greet us with a smile or a kind word.

11. Who is always glad to see you?

It can be a dog that greets you every time, or a child that runs towards you when you come to the kindergarten for him.

12. What technologies make your life at work easier?

Maybe it’s cloud storage or autosave documents, which gives you the opportunity not to lose everything you’ve done, even if the computer turns off.

13. What technologies make your life easier at home?

Microwave or robot vacuum cleaner? Dishwasher or washing machine? Blender or conditioner?

14. What item makes you feel comfortable?

It can be anything from a pair of boots to a comfortable bathtub, from perfectly crafted kitchen equipment to soft linens.

15. What protection are you grateful for?

For example, it’s nice to know that elevators are checked and we can ride them without fear. You may also be grateful for clean water or the trend towards segregated waste collection.

16. What cooperation with people are you grateful for?

Sometimes we tend to focus primarily on how we fight with each other. But in fact, people often come together to act together and contribute to a common cause. We share ideas and resources with each other, reach agreement and build highways together, deliver mail from the other side of the planet, provide electricity to entire cities. What format of association are you most grateful for?

17. What aspect of your work are you grateful for?

Perhaps your job is challenging but very interesting, or you have a flexible schedule, or you feel stable, or you have a great team, or maybe you feel the joy of doing something for someone.

18. Which of your spontaneous decisions turned out to be correct?

“For example, a few years ago I was in a hurry to buy a house, but I’m still glad I did it. I could have thought it over well and dissuaded myself, but for some reason I decided very quickly, ”recalls the expert. “And I’m grateful for my little warm home, especially in winter.”

Decisions may not be so global — perhaps you spontaneously accepted a job offer, adopted a puppy or kitten, or plunged headlong into a new relationship.

19. To whom are you grateful for their patience with you?

“Perhaps in a restaurant you asked several times to change the dish, and the waiter did not roll his eyes,” Alice Boyes gives an example. Or you asked a colleague an embarrassing question that didn’t make you feel stupid. Or maybe you accidentally left the parking lot the wrong way, and someone gave way to you.

20. What are you thankful for your body for?

Maybe you don’t have knee problems and you’re grateful for that because running helps you relieve stress. Or maybe you have a medicine that effectively relieves pain.

Each new day gives us reasons to experience gratitude, and it is our ability to notice and feel appreciation for such nuances that makes this practice so effective and beneficial for our emotional well-being.

About the Author: Alice Boyes is a clinical psychologist and author of The Healthy Mind Toolbox and The Anxiety Toolbox.