Civilized relations are relations where rules are established and implemented that take care of the interests of both parties.
In particular, in civilized relations, Senior-Junior relations are divided into spheres. In this realm you are the Elder and I am the Younger, in that realm I am the Elder.
If people are used to building civilized relations, they will build a civilized family: a family that has and observes civilized rules, legal norms and agreements. In a civilized family, people treat each other with respect, do not allow themselves a bazaar in relationships, do not use wild forms of conflict: people live like human beings. See →
If you understand that your relationship is bad, then it is so. If it seems to you that you have a quality relationship, then it is worth checking. There is a way and there is a criterion.
There are always situations where you said something unsuccessfully. They wanted to give a compliment — it turned out crooked. They asked for something — it came out as a caustic remark. You see that this is unpleasant for your partner: he was upset, or grimaced, maybe offended. Not necessarily right away, sometimes it’s worth doing it later, but it makes sense to ask: “Tell me, I failed. How could I say this better so that you understand me and it didn’t come off as offensive?
So: if you received a normal answer, if you were answered calmly and clearly, you have a quality relationship.
If you didn’t receive an answer (they ignored it, moved the conversation to another topic, continued the insult), it’s hard to call your relationship really of high quality. Somewhere, something is not right.
Maybe your partner does not have a sufficient level of culture and simply does not understand such things. Maybe you don’t know how to ask this tactfully. Maybe you’re just not a person of the level to be respected here — it’s sad, but it happens in youth, the status does not come immediately. You can think about the reasons, sometimes you need to, but the fact remains: your relationship so far cannot stand such a simple test. Your wonderful couple has yet to learn quality, civilized relationships.