A strong person is able to resolve conflicts without anger, while maintaining goodwill.
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In any conflict, you can behave like the other side, or you can behave in a civilized way. It is more difficult to behave in a civilized manner, but more worthy, and more effective in the end.
How is that civilized? What it is?
A civilized conflict resolution is the resolution of disagreements in accordance with accepted rules and respect for both parties to the conflict, their interests and feelings.
A civilized solution to a conflict is always a peaceful solution if possible. If it is possible to decide in a kind way, we are looking for just such an opportunity. If necessary, you can press, but if it can be done less painfully or without it, a less painful option is used.
Reasonable behavior in conflict
The usual scheme of behavior that resolves the conflict in a civilized way consists of the following stages: we react kindly, we move on to prevention, we conduct a controlled conflict. With the right behavior, the conflict can be extinguished even at the initial stages, then neither a warning nor a controlled conflict are needed. See →
With whom is a civilized conflict resolution possible?
Civilized conflict resolution is not always possible. It is possible:
- only between civilized people striving for civilized relations.
Seriously civilized conflict resolution is possible only with civilized people. Wild — upset, offended, cannot control themselves. It is difficult to talk to them, and it is useless to negotiate. Accordingly, the usual tactics with them — apologized, distracted, hushed up — and scatter. With civilized people, build relationships. The sharpness of the conflict has been removed — start the most important thing: sort it out fairly, agree on the future.
- if both parties are in sufficient resource (normal, healthy state of mind).
Even if one person is very tired and nervous, it is more difficult to resolve the conflict in a civilized manner. If both are very out of sorts, then even with a common high civilization and culture, this is not the time to resolve the conflict. If it is possible to postpone the question, it is better to postpone it.
- in the presence of initially normal, healthy relationships, where people do not have a serious negative against each other, they can somehow trust each other. If initially the relationship is sick and there is no trust between people, the conflict is not resolved in a civilized way.