Chulpan Khamatova: “I am grateful for my life”

Psychologies: You have been preparing this extraordinarily complex – including physically – performance for almost a year. There is a feeling that the point is set?

Chulpan Khamatova: Usually I don’t have post-premier syndrome, blues. But that’s exactly what happened with this show. The reason, apparently, is in his furious emotionality, in the strongest amplitude of experiences. Since the characters have no words, but only movements, the body had to be literally torn apart – by feelings. And all the nerve endings were excited to such an extent that when I re-entered ordinary life, it turned out that there were too many of me, too crowded for me. The intensity of feelings in relations with acquaintances, with loved ones is not enough. But I think this is temporary, soon everything will return to normal.

Lisa, your heroine, is abandoned by her lover, and she cannot cope with it. Although, by modern standards, we are talking about the usual divergence of a man and a woman. Do you feel that long-term happy relationships are even possible today?

C.H.: I am more and more convinced that a man and a woman are creatures from different planets. Completely different: the molecular composition of the soul, body, views on work, on sex, on children. In general, the absolute “clearance”. In a sense, this is convenient: when a person does not understand you at all (and it would seem that it is so simple), you can always reassure yourself that he does not have to understand you. But when he understands, this is a real miracle. In my opinion, happy marriages are either a unique coincidence of organisms at the level of biochemistry, or the result of very complex, painstaking work on each partner. By creating a life together, people achieve repeated resurrections of love and passion – consciously. And some just live like atoms: starting from one and connecting with another …

Which position do you prefer?

C.H.: I try to work on myself in the sense that men and women do not have to understand each other. Every person is inherently alone. And being together is a real talent. It can be brought up in yourself if the partner has qualities without which you cannot live.

Family, creativity, charitable work – your life consists of worlds, each of which is able to absorb entirely. What helps you live the most?

C.H.: I try not to line up what comes first and what comes second. As soon as I start to drive my life into a scheme, I immediately feel: it does not work – it collapses. So I removed any priority. One thing is certain: the people I love will always be higher for me, more precious than anything in this life. If something happens, God forbid, with my mother, child or loved one, I will drop everything and be next to them. But in normal times, both the family, and the theater, and the cinema are involved in the cycle of events, and they, like planets, are spinning in orbit: either one is highlighted by the sun, then the other … Now the fund occupies 90% of my life, tomorrow a new performance will take 150% – and so everything changes.

Are you familiar with situations when someone close to you does not support you in your activities, does not understand you?

C.H.: But they don’t have to understand me, support me! No one person can ever fully understand another. Never! I would like my loved ones… without understanding… to just feel sorry for me. Or rather take care of me. But if it doesn’t, I tell myself that they will understand me next time. I try to talk to them, to explain… the difference between our lives. I try to distract myself from the problem – the benefit of the profession allows me to do this, as well as to process the accumulated questions in one or another segment of the role. It happens that you say the text of the heroine, but somewhere in the subcortex the thought suddenly begins to pulsate: here it is, the solution has been found! And for example, through the text of Chekhov comes an understanding of your own life situation. And then I initially understand that being close to a person like me is a huge difficulty. It is difficult for all my relatives, including children, I guess. But we are who we are, and we must accept it!

When your daughters were born, you said that you strive to create a special space for them, filled with what seems important to you – good music, books … Do you succeed?

C.H.: I am still striving for this. But I never intended to keep them in the artificial world – I just don’t want to offer them something that I don’t like. They will have to coexist with what they see at school or on TV, but they will have something to look at, something to compare with, something to rely on. Yes, we already have this monstrous Bratz doll, with huge silicone lips … Arina (eldest daughter. – Approx. ed.) Wanted this doll, and she got it. But in the evenings she still wants to listen to books. When my daughter asked if I liked this doll, I replied: “I don’t, but you like it, and this is the most important thing.” She went into the room, then returned and said: “Actually, you can offend a person like that.” I say, “Probably. But do you want me to tell you the truth or lie? – “No, the truth.” It seems to me that she heard that I have a right to my point of view, just as she has a right to hers. It is important for me that the child was frank with me. It is better to discuss and live difficult moments together than to forbid (and he will quietly do it his own way). I value mutual understanding.

In high school, you wandered through the woods with a group of hippie students – did you also find understanding from your parents?

C.H.: There were, of course, clashes: my mother was simply too afraid for me, because we sometimes disappeared for months, without any connection. Ripped jeans, quilted jackets, free love, and then drugs … But my mother understood: if it was banned, it would be even worse. I would probably leave home. Because that life was so much more tempting than ordinary schooling … No, my mother did not enter into all my hobbies, into music, she did not weave baubles with me – but I really wanted to. But still, every time she packed my backpack and asked how many kilograms of buckwheat and stew I needed. And I went somewhere else.

It was probably even harder for the father to accept this?

C.H.: Dad is an introvert by nature, he just silently observed. Only once we had a serious conflict with him – when I said that I would be an actress. He did not talk to me for a year, so my decision turned his mind upside down, it was a blow to him. Now we communicate normally. However, this is not a friendly relationship. I am more my mother’s daughter, and my brother Shamil is my father’s son. And now I see myself in my daughters and therefore I forgive them a lot. What to do – genetics! (Laughs.) How can you scold for the shortcomings that you yourself passed on to the child?

Your name is now inextricably linked with the activities of the fund for helping seriously ill children …

C.H.: I feel responsible for these children. It was possible, probably, not to delve into all this so seriously: hold an auction, appear somewhere, say something … But, apparently, I need to do everything from beginning to end. I think I am a very happy person: I do not have a feeling of the uselessness of my life, my profession, the uselessness of my stay on earth. This is a very powerful platform on which I stand.

But working in the foundation is also the experience of encountering suffering…

C.H.: I don’t have the need to suffer. But you can’t defend yourself either – after all, if you already love these children and already know these mothers … I tell myself: if you are afraid of everything, then you don’t have to live at all!

What is more in this case – joy or pain?

C.H.: Of course, happiness, of course. Even if we are not talking about those children who have recovered, but about those who cannot be saved. Because time passes, and you remember only bright episodes associated with a person: some funny text messages, conversations, smiles – all this remains living fireflies in your soul. Although, of course, there are very difficult moments.

Doctors who work with seriously ill patients in Europe and the USA are supported by psychologists…

C.H.: And we have psychologists for doctors, for parents. Now we want to create a psychological service for volunteers. This is very important, because the young people who come to us are defenseless themselves. These are sensitive, naked souls, and they certainly need help to cope with such an injustice of life.

Private bussiness

• 1975 October 1 was born in Kazan, in a family of engineers. Ten years later, her brother, Shamil, was born.
• 1992 She entered the Financial and Economic Institute, and a few months later she left and entered the Kazan Theater School.
• 1993 Entered the acting department of GITIS (course of Alexei Borodin), where she met Ivan Volkov, three years later Chulpan and Ivan got married.
• 1997 Debut in Vadim Abdrashitov’s film The Way of a Dancer.
• 1998 Actress at the Moscow Sovremennik Theatre, debuts as Pat in Galina Volchek’s Three Comrades. The role of Rita in the film by Valery Todorovsky “Country of the Deaf”.
• 1999 The main role in the film by Bakhtiyor Khudoynazarov “Moon Dad”. Plays in the film “Tuvalu” by Veit Helmer (Germany). Later, Chulpan will star in nine European films.
• 2000 The main role in the play by Alexei Borodin “The Diary of Anne Frank” (RAMT).
• 2002 Birth of the eldest daughter, Arina.
• 2004 Birth of the youngest daughter, Asya. Ivan and Chulpan break up. The State Prize of the Russian Federation for her roles in the performances “The Diary of Anne Frank”, “Three Comrades” and “Mamapapasyndog” by Nina Chusova (the last two at the Sovremennik Theater), awards “Golden Mask”, “Idol”. Role in the television series “Children of the Arbat” by Andrei Eshpay. Awarded the title of Honored Artist of Russia.
• 2005 Co-host (together with Igor Kvasha) in the TV show “Wait for me” (Channel One). Yuri Grymov’s television series “Kukotsky’s Case”, the film “Garpastum” by Alexei German Jr. Together with actress Dina Korzun, she organized a charity concert “Give Life” to help children with hematological diseases.
• 2006 “TEFI” for the role of Lara in Alexander Proshkin’s series “Doctor Zhivago”; On November 27, the Gift of Life Foundation was established.
• 2007 Participation in the project of the First Channel “Ice Age”.
• 2008 Pictures “Brownie” by Karen Oganesyan and “Paper Soldier” by Alexei German Jr. Nine roles in the play “Shukshin’s Stories” (director Alvis Hermanis, Theater of Nations), the role of Lisa in Alla Sigalova’s play “Poor Liza” (May 25, 26, Theater of Nations).