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In order for the New Year’s performance to give the child a fabulous mood, it is important for parents to remember some rules. The opinion of the psychologist Svetlana Roiz.
Matinee in kindergarten and elementary school
The more desire parents and educators have to “make an impression”, the more stress and tension the child feels. When it’s scary, even the most talented, artistic and smart child can forget the words, mix up his legs, and miss the notes. This is especially true for “good”, responsible and correct children (and children who were lucky enough to grow up in families of perfectionist parents). External tension increases sensitivity to sounds, aromas, touches. For a sensitive child, excitement, anticipation, external pressure can become excessive.
Pass the tests
- Are you good at giving gifts?
- New Year: Do you enjoy the holiday?
In noisy, stuffy rooms, among evaluating and tense adults, the child may suddenly
- start acting up, crying, covering your ears (take him to a well-ventilated room, give him water or hold his hands under water),
- not to be touched, may refuse to take off clothes, put on a carnival costume (so you should not choose tight clothes),
- just stand bewildered (sit next to him, hug and slowly, quietly tell him what to do now),
- a child – even an “experienced artist” – during a matinee can run up to his mother and ask to be held in his arms (it is important to pick him up, hug him, and then take him to the stage). He runs to you to “recharge” – and it is important for him to get it,
- may be afraid of Santa Claus (his voice, height, beard).
Before the matinee and after it is over, be sure to invite the child to go to the toilet. Remember, if he feels the critical eye of an adult on him, he does not feel safe. Usually those parents are critically looked at, for whom the performance of the child is a confirmation of their status as a “good parent”. It is important that the child is not responsible for your self-esteem. If you want to say to your child “Don’t disgrace me!” – this is not a question for the child, but for your vulnerability.
Read more:
- An anxious child: how to help him become bolder
Events in unfamiliar places (clubs, concert halls)
In addition to the above:
- Take wet wipes, water with you, come early, inspect the territory (find a toilet).
- Remember that fear can make even the most kind and shy child growl, bite, fight. Imagine a dog that scares enemies away from itself. This is how children sometimes build a safe space around them. It is important to hug the child, take him in your arms or by the hand.
- If the child does not want to leave you, does not want to quickly undress – give him the opportunity to be with you as much as he needs.
- Introduce your child to other children and take a step back after a couple of minutes.
- Be sure to agree with the child where you will meet. Important: when the child looks around, give him a sign that you see him (waving your hand).
- At home, before the holiday, it is worth checking whether the child knows his phone number, home address, last name.
Read more:
- Raising a Happy Child: Three Rules for Parents
Events at home in a big company
With a child of any age, it is important to think over what things, toys, he is ready to share, and which ones are better to hide. Speak with him the scenario of the holiday, give a responsible assignment (lay out napkins, take guests to the table or to the Christmas tree).
Remember that the child will carefully monitor how you treat other people’s children – always pay the first signs of attention to your child. Keep your hand on your shoulder when talking to other children. Otherwise, the child will begin to draw attention to himself in a way that we do not like.
If the child has his own place at the table – do not offer it to guests or coordinate it with the “owner” in advance.
Read more:
- A child with ADHD: how can parents calm down?
General rules
- On the eve of the holiday, play at home: speak louder than usual, turn on the music louder, recite poems with your eyes closed, standing on one leg …
- Go to matinees together: your loving (not critical!) Look is important to your child, he will hold on to it during his performance.
- When someone else’s child is crying, and the mother is not around, it is permissible to come up and talk to him quietly or draw the caregiver’s attention to the child.
- For the only child in the family, public events can be more of a burden.
- In the evening, everyone who was not present at the matinee needs to be told how wonderful your little actor played (sang, danced).
- If the child was given a “sweet gift” and he is not allowed to have sweets, replace them with a toy. Or offer him a choice – for what he himself would like to exchange sweets.