This summer, I discovered that the children at the dacha got into the habit of calling me, shouting at the whole site. I’m in the garden, they’re in the house. They are reluctant to get up, and “Mom!” is heard from the house! I came a couple of times, it turned out that they were calling for some nonsense. Shouting back “come here yourself” is also unproductive — they start arguing and making even more noise.
In short, messy and annoying.
Next, I give a universal technique for introducing a new rule for children.
Step 1. Calm down internally and understand what exactly is annoying (children behave incorrectly, a lot of noise, make me run).
Step 2. Translating the problem into a task: I decide what exactly I want (so that they come and ask quietly).
Step 3. Before conveying the rule to the children, a “call to the circle” is necessary — an action that the children will perform, thereby showing their readiness to obey further.
Works not only with children. If you want to convey something to a subordinate, call him to the office. If you want the group to complete your tasks, raise it, ask it to line up in a circle, unite in threes, shout “ready”, etc.
It turns out that even turning off mobile phones on an airplane is not a technical necessity, but a ritual action aimed at developing the readiness of passengers to obey the crew.
So, I call Valera. Valera runs out onto the porch «What, Mom?» I insist that you come to me. «Well, why, tell me here.» I’m waiting for it to come down and fit.
Step 4. Calmly introduce a new rule. It is also desirable to explain why it is needed.
So, I inform you that now if the children need to say something, they come running, stand nearby and only after that ask. Understandably? Go kiss me.
It worked for me the first time. But sometimes you need to monitor the implementation of the rule and, if necessary, repeat it.
Step 5. Children are not stupid and often begin to demand that the rule work the other way around. “Only now you won’t call us either, but come.” No matter how! My task is to make them listen to me, and not me to them .. In addition, I call them on business, and not just like that. I calmly explain to the children why I can call them. “Mom is older, so mom needs to be obeyed. I can call, and you need to come right away. Deal?»