Children’s profanity is not a reason to panic

Do not be horrified when you hear from your baby a word with the letter “x” or “b”. This is inevitable and does not mean bad parenting. Psychologists are sure that scolding children for “bad” words is not worth it – this can damage their ability to express emotions.

Children under 12 years old already have quite a solid “dictionary” of swearing. Moreover, contrary to stereotypes, by adolescence, boys and girls accumulate approximately the same number of words (95 to 80). Moreover, at first, girls even lead in this indicator – at the age of two they already know 8 such words, while boys – only 6 *.

Psychologist Timothy Jay, author of studies on children’s profanity, believes that parents should not worry if profanity begins to penetrate into a child’s speech. “It is almost impossible to protect children from such unpleasant discoveries,” the expert says. – As they learn a language, they eagerly absorb everything they hear from the environment. A swear word accidentally thrown to a passerby may appeal to a child, and perhaps he will decide to try it out at home.” Timothy Jay dispels another myth – about the school as the main hotbed of foul language. “By the time a child goes to school, he not only has a set of appropriate expressions, but also understands how and why they should be used,” explains the psychologist. “However, unlike adults, he does not have a fully developed sense of tact, an idea of ​​the appropriateness of what he says.”

Timothy Jay advises not to scold a child if strong words slip through his speech from time to time. “When mastering live speech, the child explores, among other things, its expressive side, learns to express his emotions,” he says. – It is important to separate what he says from the mood with which he does it. The natural manifestation of anger, joy, surprise should be encouraged. At the same time, it should be explained to the child that some words should not be used in public, as they may be unpleasant for them.

* American Journal of Psychology, 2013, vol. 126, № 4.

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