Fiction is a natural form of existence for a child, and it is not for nothing that children love fairy tales so much. But adults often take children’s fantasies for lies and even try to punish children for making up stories. Natalia Poletaeva, a psychologist and mother of three children, talks about how to build a relationship with a dreamer child.
The more a child comes up with something new, the better for their development. Let him imagine that the dog on the street had ears like an elephant, that he flew on a rocket with his grandfather, or that it rained all day, when in fact the weather is clear outside.
In the process of writing, thinking, logic and imagination develop, so do not scold your child, but on the contrary, help him to develop further. Offer, for example, to draw or make up your own fiction, you can record what he says on a dictaphone or video camera. A little creativity — and in the family archive will forever remain “masterpieces” in the form of children’s drawings or fairy tales. With my children, especially when we are driving in the car, I often play a game codenamed “Fairy Tale”. In turn, we develop the plot, the stories are fun and interesting, sometimes with a continuation. Children love to speak in roles, changing the voice and intonation of pronunciation, and the travel time, even taking into account traffic jams, flies by unnoticed!
Such creativity helps to understand the inner world of the child, to notice the problem in time and solve it. For example, by individual details of the drawing (fangs, flowers), by color (dark, light tones), by the size and location of the figure in the drawing, or by how the plot of a child’s fantasy develops, you can find out what the baby is going through. When I was eight months pregnant, my daughter told me a story about a girl named Emily, who was very lonely and flew to a Magical land in search of new friends on a dragon. Thanks to this fairy tale, I realized that the heroine was lonely, because a baby was about to be born in our family, and my daughter was worried that she would lose my attention and love. I tried to turn the plot of this story so that the girl did not worry, and the little sister who was born became her best friend-not in a fairy tale, but in life. My daughter was afraid to tell me about her experiences, so as not to upset me — so this fairy tale was born. It was only when I told her that I loved her the most, because I loved her eight years longer than the youngest, that she told me the truth about her feelings!
Sometimes even we, adults, find it difficult to tell the truth, and even more so for children — they are afraid of the parental reaction. Children’s imagination can be very useful in building a competent relationship between parents and children. Learn to understand your child, and the truth will always be on your side!