Children’s dreams explained to parents

What are dreams for?

The dream allowsrelieve pressure that we suffer daily, conflicts, prohibitions, frustrations. It is a search for solutions to too strong tensions of the day, an important factor of balance, a fundamental need for the children as for the adults. The dream is the expression of a desire or it allows to externalize certain fears.

From what age do children dream?

Very young, from the first months, as soon as the perceptions of the five senses are organized and even in utero, we know that the fetuses dream, they have mental images, there is a first draft of research. The little one does not have the words to express his anxieties, his fears, his desires, but he has the images of dreams to express them. From 18 months-2 years, the imagination develops and dreams too.

Do my child’s dreams make sense?

They still have meaning, nothing is free. Dreams are like children’s drawings, they tell a lot about the emotions that they feel. Thanks to dreams, we are at the heart of what preoccupies the child and we must help him find the answers to his questions. It is important to encourage him to tell them, to listen to him, but of course, there is no question of interpreting them, only to allow him to put words on his emotions. Once he confided in you his dream, a toddler needs reassurance and above all that he be taught to reassure himself.

What is the main theme of toddler dreams?

The very strong theme of early childhood is separation anxiety, the fear of being all alone, abandoned, of not finding either his mother or his father, as in Le Petit Poucet. Because this is the age when the little man needs to feel safe in his house and protected by his parents to grow up. He is small, fragile and dependent. If there are events happening in his life that make him imagine that he could be abandoned, it is terrible, it is really one of the most universal anxieties because without an adult small children cannot survive.

Ogre, witch and wolf: what does it mean?

The ogres, the witches represent the “bad parents” who say NO, who scold when he does something stupid, who do not buy him the toy he asks for or the ride he demands. Wolves they are dreams of oral anxiety, the child has the impression that he could be devoured like Little Red Riding Hood, he is very afraid of being eaten raw by his parents because he puts everything in his mouth , whatever he likes he eats, so he imagines that the adults who like him will do the same. This is also the period when the child can bite. He finds his nursery friend so cute that he wants to bite him, to take his strength, his energy.

My child dreams of flying like a superman

This is part of the dreams of magical thinking: a foodie will dream that he is locked in a pastry shop and that he can eat all the cakes he wants. An admirer of Super hero will dream that he flies like Superman. Around 2-3 years old, the child is in omnipotence, he believes that it is enough to want for it to be, he is convinced that what he created in his dreams is possible. The dreams of omnipotence are illustrated by other terms: he is the king, he reigns over the entire universe and everyone obeys his every wish. Or he is a giant and his parents are tiny. This type of dream is the sign that the child wants to take initiatives, it is the period of “Me alone!” “. The days of a little one are marked by “No, don’t touch that, you’re too small!” ” It’s very frustrating especially when he feels more and more independent and autonomous. Often the little child thinks that he is forbidden to do things just because he is a child. It is important to give him responsibilities and make him understand that, like him, adults too are subject to constraints, prohibitions, laws, that they are not all-powerful contrary to what he imagines.

Why do little ones go through periods of nightmares?

Between 3 and 6 years, nightmares are very frequent because it is the moment when the imagination holds a large place in the life of the child and where he has difficulty in differentiating the real and the imaginary, which is “For real” and “for false!” »Nightmares mean that a fear is working him or that he is going through a difficult test. It can be the separation when he is in the care of a nanny, whether he goes to nursery or kindergarten. It can be disturbed by the birth of a little brother or a little sister. He does not manage to find his place well, he is jealous of the intruder, emotionally weakened, he is afraid to share his parents’ love. Suddenly, he has nightmares in which he eliminates the little brother or the little sister who bothers him. The intruder finds himself drowned, kidnapped by a thief, thrown in the trash, eaten by an ogre? When he thinks about it, sometimes he feels very guilty, sometimes he rejoices, he experiences the whole range of feelings.

How to help a child who has nightmares or sad dreams?

The first step, it is to ask him of whom, of what he was afraid, why he is sorrowful. If he has trouble expressing himself, offer to draw the bad guys. Project your nightmare by drawing it, it is already a work of symbolization. Thanks to drawing, he realizes the difference between the imaginary and the real much more than in his thought. The second stepis to reassure him, to encourage him to find a positive solution to his dream himself: “You wouldn’t want it to happen like that in your dream, tell me instead how you would have liked it to happen. past ? “Thanks to their imagination, it works very well:” I would have knocked out the monster, I would have killed it with my sword, I would have turned it into an ant with my magic wand, I would have fled or hid, he did not would not have found? “

Do not encourage the child to check that there are no monsters in his room

Especially not ! This would comfort the child in the certainty that he exists. He said to himself: “I’m right, he could be in my room since we’re looking for him!” “You have to help him make the difference between reality and imagination and tell him:” It’s a dream, it does not exist for real. You can think very hard about someone who does not exist, you can close your eyes and think of a horse, you see it in your head and when you open your eyes, it is not there, these are images . Tell me instead what would you like to do to the thief? How would you go about preventing the thief from bothering you anymore, would you cook him in the oven, fall into the boiling pot like the wolf of the Three Little Pigs? »The child must understand that he has created a fear and that he can create the antidote to fear. He should also not be advised to fall asleep with his sword or pistol next to him to defend himself in case the evil ghost comes in his dream. Again, this comforts him in the idea that it is possible that a ghost will come to attack him at night. To reassure him, tell him a story, give him a big hug and give him a little night light while he falls asleep.

My child dreams of death

When a child dreams that his parents are dying, it is always in a movement ofautonomy. It only means that it is growing up, that he wants to stand on his own feet. It’s a symbolic death, the realization of his desire for maturity. If he tells you at breakfast that he dreamed that his little sister was dead, don’t tell him he’s mean, don’t blame him, do not dramatize, it’s a dream. Show him on the contrary that you understand him: “It must have relieved you to think that, but it is in your dream, in real life, it is not possible! “