Children’s camp: learn to “live in a pack”

I remember getting ready for my first — and only — camp,” says 32-year-old Marina. “I was looking forward to games with new friends, notes from the boys, songs around the campfire, all that camp romance that my mother told me about. And how hard it was for me to live in a ward for six, where girls endlessly exchanged personal items – cosmetics, combs, even underwear. How difficult it was to get up at 7 in the morning and eat viscous, barely warm porridge. And the end of the shift generally turned into a nightmare – the “ataman”, the girl Katya from a dysfunctional family, hated me for some reason. She poured salt into my bed, undressed me at night and painted with charcoal, constantly ridiculed and made others say that I was a fat idiot. And I couldn’t even call and complain to my mother – there were no mobile phones then.”

A feeling of disgust, helplessness and defenselessness – that’s all that remains in the memories. Marina says that she will never send her children to the camp: “I do not believe that the institution of the camp has changed over the years. And my daughters are as sensitive and homely as I am. In which case they will definitely not be able to stand up for themselves. ”

37-year-old Anna’s own experience of camp life is also not the most rosy, but at the same time she sends her 11-year-old son on a summer vacation for the third time. “Of course, the first time was very exciting. But I chose the camp for a very long time – normal food, a lot of activities, sane, experienced counselors, so that there would be no hazing. As a result, we went to the camp, which the guys from our class had already gone to, and the reviews were the most wonderful.”

The holiday did not disappoint. There were long hikes with a backpack on his shoulders, and team games, and porridge on a fire with burned boots (“but now the guy knows that they should be dried away”), but according to Anna, the son told about all the difficulties with a laugh: “ He never once – and we talked daily – did not ask: “Mom, take me away from here.” On the contrary, he rejoiced: “How cool it is here! If only I could stay on the second shift!”

Will the child like the camp?

Anna’s experience confirms that it is very important for parents to find a camp with a good reputation so that the child is comfortable and safe away from home. But does it depend only on this whether he will feel good in the camp? “Of course not,” family and child psychologist Katerina Demina is convinced. – There are children who go to the garden very well, quickly adapt to new conditions, instantly make friends, willingly get up at the whistle – they will be very comfortable in the camp. But the vulnerable, homebound, extremely sensitive or squeamish will have a hard time there.”

According to the expert, a kindergarten is generally a kind of “litmus test”: if a child went there and liked it there, most likely there will be no problems in the camp. If not, you will have to try very hard to prepare him for a new experience, and maybe even postpone the experiment or completely abandon the idea of ​​sending your son or daughter to rest away from home.

“Before you decide whether to send your child to camp, ask yourself a few questions,” recommends a child psychologist. How independent is your child? Is he ready to part? Does it quickly adapt to new conditions? Can he keep track of his condition? Can he, for example, determine whether he is hungry or full, why did his “batteries run out” – because he was tired, sick, or just wanted to eat? All this is very important. No less important than the camp program is how and who will ensure the safety of your child in it.

Stop worrying about your child

There is nothing wrong with the idea of ​​a camp, the psychologist believes. After all, one of the most important tasks of education is to help the child grow up, step by step to separate from the parents. And vacation away from the family in this sense provides unique opportunities. The child learns to “be in a pack” – to communicate, to live in a team according to its laws. He learns to give in and at the same time defend his interests. Choose those with whom tastes and aspirations are similar, make friends with them. To cope with adversity and resist those who encroach on his self. And all this without the opportunity to receive immediate help and support from loved ones.

“In many camps it is forbidden to use mobile phones, children “rest” from gadgets,” says Katerina Demina. – And this is good. The need for the child to be in touch all the time arises in overly anxious adults who do not want to “let go”, to separate the child from themselves. At some point, peers become more important than parents. And as adults, we just have to accept that fact. We also send the child to the camp so that he stays among his own, feels himself separate from us. So why would he call endlessly?

Play therapist Alexander Pokryshkin agrees with this: “It is important that the child has the opportunity to contact you when he wants. But in general, if he manages to get out of a difficult situation without your help, he will become more self-sufficient and self-confident.

He advises to talk in advance with the child about possible difficulties, to calculate and describe to him all possible situations – and how to behave in them. “You can tell him: “We are sure that in the camp you may be interested. Also, we think sometimes you will be tired or bored. It’s normal, it happens. Perhaps some guys or adults will do something strange. And you should not endure what is unpleasant to you, and you can tell about everything to us.

Of course, everything is impossible to predict and plan. 45-year-old Alina, a mother of four, recalls how her youngest daughter went to the camp from school: “We were told that this was a beautiful, cozy boarding house near Taganrog. But in fact, the children were taken to another – old and broken. Even the accompanying teachers did not know about it.

We were shocked! A whole day without contact. But when my daughter called and began to say excitedly: “Mom, can you imagine …”, and I began to calm her down, it turned out that the children had already been “brought to life.” And it was their teachers who did it. They were able to assure the guys that they would not leave them, no matter what happens … It is not in our power to predict everything in the world, but we can at least make sure that strong adults are next to our children.