Deception by silence is not only perceived badly by children, but also by those who prefer openness and transparency, even when it comes to bad news.
“Come on, take the medicine, you’ll see, you will feel better,” the mother says to the child. But she forgets to warn him that the pill is bitter. The child takes the medicine and finds it tastes disgusting. Further, he may be offended by his mother – not because she gave him this pill, but because she hid that she was so nasty.
American scientists put forward a hypothesis* that such tactics can become an obstacle to establishing a trusting relationship between a child and an adult. They examined the reactions of children as young as 6 years of age. The children were shown a puppet show, and the teacher explained to the kids how the toy works. She had 4 buttons, each of which had its own function (light, music, and so on). But the teacher only mentioned one of these functions. When the children looked at the toy and found that they weren’t told everything, they tended to give the teacher a bad mark. The second time they were introduced to another toy that had only one function. But already, in disbelief, they carefully examined this toy in order to find some more of its possibilities. This experiment is interesting in that it clearly demonstrates how the initial judgment affects the formation of children’s attitudes towards adults. If the latter omit some important information, this may be perceived by the child as an attempt to mislead him or a lack of trust, which may lead to a deterioration in attitude towards an adult. So it’s much better to just be honest.
* H. Gweon et al. «Sins of omission. Children selectively explore when teachers are under-informative», Cognition, 2014, № 3.