Children become teenagers: how the body and … soul change

After 10 years, a time of change comes for parents and children: under the influence of sex hormones, the child’s body grows and develops rapidly. What stages can be distinguished in bodily maturation? What can parents prepare teenagers for and what will they have to go through and accept themselves? Our experts talk about the psychophysiology of sexual development.

All parents roughly imagine how the child develops, what can be expected from his behavior, they know, watching their son or daughter every day. But when it comes to sexual development, parents do not always have enough knowledge.

The idea of ​​what age-related changes should be expected at different stages of development, and observation of what actually happens, allow you to navigate what is happening, notice in a timely manner something unusual, strange, not age-appropriate, and, if necessary, seek help. In addition, in communicating with a teenager, parents will have to determine how ready he is to discuss the intimate side of life, so as not to embarrass him ahead of time or be late with an important conversation.

10-19 years old: a decade of change

Children under the age of ten grow evenly, and boys and girls have the same body proportions. At the beginning of puberty, a pubertal growth spurt occurs. At this time, the body length can increase by 7–12 cm per year.

Girls usually overtake peers-boys in growth and development. For girls, the jump occurs on average at 10-11 years old, for boys — at 13 years old. After reaching the peak of the growth rate, its rapid slowdown and cessation are observed: in girls — after 16 years, in boys — after 18 years.

The maximum growth rate of adolescents is observed in spring, and the maximum rate of weight gain is observed in autumn. The intensity and duration of this jump is different for each teenager. Boys “catch up” and sometimes outstrip girls in development, as a rule, only by the last grades of school, while a boy of 17–18 years old is still growing, and a girl is already stopping in growth.

The shape of the body and the rate of maturation of the reproductive system are determined by sex hormones. In boys, it is testosterone produced by the testicles. It causes genital development and physical changes in a teenager’s body, including an increase in muscle mass and bone maturation. The physique acquires typical male features — broad shoulders and narrow hips, relief muscles of the chest and back, and the male shape of the buttocks. There may even be temporary swelling of the mammary glands and nipples, followed by pigmentation of the areola.

All dates mentioned below serve as guidelines and are quite subject to individual fluctuations. The development of secondary sexual characteristics in boys on average covers the period from 10,5 to 18 years. First of all, at the age of 10,5–12 years, the testicles increase, at 12–13 years the penis begins to grow, pubic hair appears at the same time, after which other signs of puberty appear sequentially. Some young men begin to shave so that «vegetation» on the face appears faster. The growth of the external genitalia is usually completed by the age of 17–18, although their growth may continue until the age of 20–25.

The main sex hormones in girls are estrogens, which are produced by the ovaries. They ensure the maturation of the genital organs and the development of the mammary glands. Androgen hormones are partly involved in the puberty of girls. Under the influence of sex hormones, body shapes are rounded, the chest increases, the pelvis becomes wider than the shoulder girdle.

The external manifestations of the sexual development of girls cover the period from 9 to 17 years. With the onset of puberty in girls, the pelvis expands, the hips and buttocks become noticeably rounded, and the mammary glands (9-10 years) increase, for the full development of which it takes about 4 years. From 10–11 years of age, pubic hair begins, reaching a maximum in 2,5–3 years. Hair growth of the axillary regions begins 1,5–2 years after the pubic one and ends by the age of 18.

The first menstruation occurs between 9 and 15 years, most often at 12-14 years. The age of menstruation is mainly determined by the state of health, heredity and living conditions. The appearance of the first menstruation before the age of 9, and especially the absence of menstruation after 15–16 years, is a reason to consult a gynecologist. At first, the cycle may change. Gradually, menstruation becomes regular: they occur on average every 28 days and last for 3-5 days.

Cause for concern and examination may be:

— short (less than 21 days) or long (over 35 days) menstrual cycle;

— an irregular cycle if it persists for more than a year and a half after the onset of menstruation;

— duration of menstruation — 1-2 days or more than 7 days;

— heavy bleeding or pain during menstruation.

Prepare for the unexpected

Body changes can take teenagers by surprise, upset or frighten. Even someone who has studied «Human Anatomy» and roughly imagines the physiological processes in the body is not always ready to personally face the new features of his own body. Therefore, the main task of parents is to talk in advance on these difficult topics, reassure, explain what unfamiliar phenomena and sensations mean.

The first wet dreams — involuntary ejaculation at night and in the morning, often accompanied by erotic dreams — occur at the age of 14 and in most young men become regular by the age of 16. Boys often perceive them as a disease and are very worried.

Parents, and best of all, the father, need to talk with their son about wet dreams even before they appear, explain that this is a common phenomenon that accompanies the transformation from a boy into a man, that this should not be frightened and embarrassed, that wet dreams can be repeated quite often and involuntarily, but may stop over time.

For girls, an important milestone of growing up is the first menstruation. If it happens unexpectedly, the girl may be frightened and panic, it may be embarrassing for her to talk about what happened, ask a question. Therefore, parents, better than mothers, need to explain to the girl at the age of 9–10 how the female reproductive system works, explain the nature of menstruation, tell that this is a normal stage in the development of the female body. In this case, the girl will be ready for the fact that she will one day have bloody discharge from the genitals, will not be scared or embarrassed.

After the onset of the first menstruation, it is important to say that from that moment on, sexual contact can lead to pregnancy, even with an irregular cycle. You can offer the girl to keep a menstrual calendar so that it becomes her habit.

Another significant aspect of this situation is personal hygiene, the use of modern means, well-being and behavior during menstruation. Shortly before and also during menstruation, general well-being may worsen, irritability and discomfort may appear, sometimes menstruation can be painful. You should also be aware of this in advance.

«That’s what’s happening to me…»

Teenagers evaluate their body primarily in terms of sexual attractiveness. Therefore, for them, painful attention to the parameters and proportions of the body, the condition of the skin, and the size of the genital organs is typical. These separate parts seem to them too big or small, thick or thin. Such heightened sensitivity can cause conflict reactions or neuroses, even serious ones such as dysmorphomania and anorexia nervosa. There may be a decrease in self-esteem and a sense of self-worth.

The experiences of a teenager are close to the sensations that Alice experiences in Wonderland, examining her body from the side and watching what happens to him: “No, just think! she said. What a strange day today! And yesterday everything went as usual! Maybe it was me who changed overnight? Let me remember; This morning, when I got up, was it me or was it not me? Looks like it’s not really me! But if so, then who am I then? It’s so hard…”

Others also hardly recognize the changed child: “You … who … are you?” asked the Blue Caterpillar. The beginning was not very conducive to conversation. “I really don’t know now, madam,” Alice answered timidly. “I know who I was this morning when I woke up, but since then I have changed several times.” “What are you thinking about? asked the Caterpillar sternly. “Are you out of your mind?” “I don’t know,” Alice answered. «Must be in someone else’s.»

All teenagers want to be sure that everything is in order with their body, especially the genitals in boys and the mammary glands in girls. After all, they constantly compare themselves with their peers. Indelicate remarks of others, parents — “what kind of nose you have”, “what kind of legs you have” — can cause painful experiences in a teenager, thoughts about physical inferiority, form a strong belief in their own physical inferiority. Even if a teenager does not ask direct questions about his body and face, it is necessary to dispel his possible complexes by all means.

The task of parents is to explain to the teenager that the changes taking place with him are temporary. Girls gain fat during normal puberty and think they are getting fat. In an effort to meet the «beauty standards» adolescents, especially girls, often restrict themselves in food and resort to pharmacological means of body weight correction, which entails the risk of anorexia — a complete refusal to eat.

An involuntary cause of anorexia nervosa can be the parents themselves: “Why do you eat so much? You are my fat girl!» It will be useful for young people to keep in mind that in different societies and different cultures the ideals of beauty and attractiveness are not the same, so every person can be an object of admiration.