“They annoy us, they do everything out of place, as if out of spite. But the eyes are smart! “Maybe, but he doesn’t want to!” educators complain.
Remember, you met these children — so strange in everything: either detached, in some kind of parallel world, or hyperactive, hanging out in space without a goal, or viscous, stuck in the same feelings, repeating the same thing. We don’t tend to remember them, not only because we are full of worries, but also because we are overcome by the desire to feel like a «normal person». There are so many worries in our world that everywhere we expect a dirty trick, but not from the very center of the family, from our own children.
- wordless love
I know this feeling of tenderness if my child shines at a holiday in kindergarten. But there is another child who does everything inappropriately, no matter how much you rehearse, seems stubborn and capricious, as if out of spite he does not want to do like everyone else. An experienced eye will distinguish between autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Childhood autism appears most often in the first 3-4 years and occurs today in one in 68 children. This is 1,5% of all children! Ten years ago, my three-year-old son was diagnosed with such a diagnosis (we then lived in Germany). It is especially difficult for a father to let go of pain, disappointment, parting with dreams of a bright, talented and successful heir. Mom usually starts to notice something strange earlier, for example, repetitive movements, extremely «charged», super-valuable objects, rituals in the house, splashes, screams, regression of speech.
Special children are beautiful and very loved. But at the same time, children with ASD, hyperactivity, various character accentuations are a test for a family that either splits it or unites it. And love alone will not overcome this test. The task of parents is to find a specialist who can analyze the behavior and offer a program for its correction. Another difficulty is that autism is a special story. With other diagnoses, accepting a son or daughter once is enough. But as a child with autism begins to develop, he needs to be accepted again and again because his needs and abilities, his behavior and the way he communicates change. True, each next time is easier. In addition, parents master their own strategy of interaction with him and stop rushing from one panacea to another. We also need family therapy. And then the family will become a powerful development factor for the child and will help him to go out into the world.