Coming from school, they literally stick to the screen and often leave it only with a scandal. Allow or forbid? Child psychologist Alexander Wenger offers some avenues for reflection.
Psychologies: Why is television so fascinating to children?
Alexander Wenger: The virtual image takes the child away from reality for a while. In the cinema, children realize that they are experiencing something external to them, limited in time and space, because going there is always a ritual that involves a certain session, a dark hall, the presence of other spectators. And in front of the TV, the child is faced with a stream of disparate images, while remaining in a familiar environment. It is more difficult for him to move away from what is happening on the screen — and the bewitching effect is enhanced.
What effect does the TV show have on the child?
Until the age of 3-4, children are attracted only by movement on the screen. It is difficult for them to distinguish between the real and the imaginary until the age of seven. From 4 to 7, identification prevails: children identify themselves with their favorite characters and want to be like them.
After seven, they become able to relate television images and plots to reality. They already have ideas about time and space, and they learn to analyze, reason, defend their point of view. These abilities are formed by the age of 10-11, when the content of what is seen becomes the most important. From about this age, children themselves can choose the programs that they will watch, as well as take breaks from watching programs themselves.
In their early teens (ages 12-13), they get a bit fed up with television and switch to video games. The content of images becomes very important, a new stage of identification begins. Identifying with video and TV characters, children prefer characters that support their egos: boys are strong and courageous, girls are beautiful and seductive. During this period, it is again important for parents to pay special attention to the choice and discussion of television programs.
At what age can children watch TV without adults?
From about the age of seven, they can do it on their own, but it is quite acceptable even at the age of four to put a child alone to watch a cartoon cassette. If he woke up early on the weekend, and his parents still need to sleep, there is nothing wrong with watching a cartoon or a children’s TV show, although of course, you should not constantly use the TV instead of a babysitter. Parents need to guide the choice of the child, helping him grow up, learn about himself and the world around him, and television should not be an exception to this rule.
What transmissions to choose?
Children should watch only high-quality TV shows, professionally made and appropriate for their age. But at the same time, it is much better for a child to watch a good movie for adults with their parents (of course, if it does not contain sex and violence) than one of the endless stamped animated series (although they are created specifically for children).
It is important for parents to understand that there are programs that are useful for the development of the child, there are really harmful ones, and there are neutral programs that are useless, but not harmful. There is no need to break spears about the latter: they are not worth spoiling the relationship with the child because of them.
How to set «view quota»?
From the very beginning, parents should agree with the child how much time he will watch TV during the day, week. Focus not on viewing time, but on the content of the programs. This will help him feel like a participant in the choice, and not a passive spectator. Review agreements every 2-3 weeks.
In discussing the program and viewing time — only on weekends, half an hour daily or otherwise — the word of the parents should be decisive. When the child grows up and is ready to choose programs for himself, it is important to continue to discuss together what exactly is worth watching.
What can be done to ensure that they comply with the established rules?
It is impossible to constantly stand behind the child, especially when the parents are working. A reasonable way out is to accustom him to certain rules as early as possible, while he is still small, then he will not have to apply “sanctions” later. Always explain to him your position and the reasons why you limit your viewing time.
TV in the nursery: is it dangerous?
The nursery is not a place for a TV. The included receiver turns into a familiar background, and the child is less likely to find more useful, developing activities for himself. Having gained a taste for such affordable pleasure, he may not want to make the effort of playing, reading, thinking — which is necessary for the formation of his own way of thinking.
He likes stupid shows. What to do?
Parents have the right to prohibit any programs. But what adults consider complete nonsense is not necessarily nonsense for a child. Before forbidding the program, watch it together: this will give the child the opportunity to explain what exactly he likes about it, and what you do not agree with.
Denying simply by stating that the program does not suit you is ineffective. If you argue your position, then the child will learn to explain his own. So you will help him form his own judgment and the ability to defend it.
How to deal with advertising?
Children love to watch ads: they like its rhythm, music, movement. From the age of 3-4, they easily recognize clip melodies and product logos. And only from the age of 7–8 are able to understand the special tasks and mechanisms of the impact of commercials. It is important that parents explain to the child what advertising is. Seven-year-olds and even five-year-olds are already quite capable of understanding that a thing does not get better from being shown on TV, but it costs more, because a lot of money has been spent on advertising and now buyers will pay for it. So advertising will be a good reason to teach the child the first knowledge of the field of economics in a simple and understandable way.
What about dramatic news stories?
The television newscast is a program for adults both in form and content. Ideally, before the age of 7-8, it is better for children not to see information programs, especially when terrible events occur. But if the child nevertheless saw a report from the scene of tragic events and is worried, try to create a sense of security in him: sit next to him, hug him. Talking about what you saw, explain what happened on the screen, focus on the efforts being made to save people.
How to relate to love scenes, erotica and sex?
Erotic films require emotional and sexual maturity. Ideally, children under 16 should not watch them. If, while watching a movie intended for all categories of viewers, the child begins to ask questions or is embarrassed because of some kind of love scene, this is a good reason to talk to him about sexuality.
Does television hinder their cultural development?
Perhaps the main fault of the TV is that it takes time from educational games for children. Children need to express their imaginary ideas in action, and television invites them to passively perceive others.
So, is it still harmful?
When the images offered to the child do not prevent him from doing his «child’s work», there is nothing wrong with them, said the English psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. What is more important is not what the child sees on the screen, but what he then does with what he sees. The task of parents is to help him use the information received to his advantage. And, perhaps, to explain that television, like any invention of culture, has its downside…