Is evil so attractive? Another of Lermontov’s characters was interested in this. And this question is still intriguing. The choice of many women continues to fall on «toxic» and abusers. But why?
The reason lies in the woman’s childhood, namely, in her relationship with her father, psychologist Veronika Tyurina explained to the portal .
The fact is that any person prefers those relationships where subconsciously everything is already familiar to him. As soon as the psyche of a woman reads the similarity of a man with her father, it begins to seem to her that that long-awaited love has come.
Most likely, in childhood, such a woman felt that her father rejected her, showed little signs of attention or did not appreciate her. She already knows her role in such relationships, she is used to them, and this, oddly enough, has become her comfort zone. Healthy relationships, in turn, are scary, like any other unknown. Therefore, the woman continues to choose «cold» partners.
Of course, it is possible to change the situation, but a lot of efforts will have to be made, Veronika Tyurina is sure. First of all, you need to take care of your self-esteem. It is best to enlist the help of a psychotherapist.
What else can help?
Diary of emotions: you need to record and analyze situations that cause violent feelings;
Analysis of one’s feelings about «cold» men: it is necessary to clarify what exactly attracts them;
Recognition that you yourself choose such partners;
Forgive yourself for this;
Turning off the voice of the inner critic;
New acquaintances, hobbies, profession.