Child’s household chores

The family is a common cause, and everyone should contribute to it. The distribution of household chores among all family members is best discussed at a family council, with the obligatory participation of children.

• First, let’s try to divide all responsibilities into permanent and temporary. For example, permanent ones — cleaning, washing dishes, laundry, walking the dog, etc. Temporary – general cleaning, repairs, window washing, etc.
• Now we distinguish from them specific male, female and children’s duties. We determine the time spent on each, after that we can redistribute the scope of responsibilities. For example, let’s unload mom by transferring some of the work to dad and children.
• Next, we allocate temporary and permanent assignments for the child (based on his capabilities, and sometimes desires).

If you, dear parents, think that a preschool child is still too small, that he does not have enough strength to help his mother around the house, then do not confuse three different things: 1) the child cannot cope with this or that business; 2) the child does not want to do your business and wants to do what he is interested in; 3) you just feel sorry for the child. In translation: your child has learned to manipulate you and skillfully makes you feel uncomfortable and sorry for him when you pester him with what he does not need.

Bottom line: our children can and should have their own family responsibilities. The girl must work — it will come in handy in life. How to fix this distribution and where to put it for everyone to see is a matter of your imagination and ingenuity. You can do it together, or you can entrust the child.

How to include a child in household chores?

How? Firstly, it is wrong to ask the question “How to get a child interested in household chores?” — on one interest of the child you will not solve this issue. In addition to desire, there are responsibilities, and the child should be introduced to this. Another thing is that there is no need to present household duties as flour, heaviness and trouble. It’s just something that comes naturally.

Sometimes such a question is appropriate for children: “And who should go to the pharmacy (to the store), vacuum the floors? Mum? Why do you think she should be doing this? Are you more free? In short, forward — march!

The three main roles that parents can play to introduce their children to household chores are the roles of the Inspiring Ducky, the Power Man and the Tactician.

The role of the Inspiring Darling is the most natural for most mothers and the most effective way to interest and captivate a small child with household chores. For example: you can clean up toys by playing a crane or Superman, or Cinderella, or a queen who takes care of her subjects.

You can come up with many motivating games. When a child is 2-3 years old and the mother does not work, this is wonderful, but when the child gets older and the mother has more work outside the home in addition to household chores, there is simply not enough time for an inspirer. So, we begin to use the role of the Silovik, that is, to become a strict parent and demand the fulfillment of duties. With short-term use and a general positive style in the family, Silovik works very effectively, especially in male performance.

You can also launch the role of Tactics: put uncleaned toys in the crib for the child and the child will be able to lie down in it only after cleaning, give the child a dirty plate in his hands with a calm: “Wash, please.” From time to time, the child may switch household roles with other family members. It is useful, firstly, to get acquainted with other types of work, perhaps more complex than standing assignments. Secondly, it’s nice to experience, for example, my mother’s daily workload.

Wise Tacticians are good at presenting household chores as something of prestige that the Big Ones do, but which the Little Ones can do if they are well-behaved. Kids love hanging around mom when she’s busy in the kitchen, and it’s only natural to show your daughter or son how to make a real salad. When they succeed, they can be trusted to make salads every day. If you provide them with ready-made recipes, but encourage independent culinary searches, the results can be excellent. Boys should be entrusted with household chores that use a variety of appliances, including kitchen ones. Perhaps they themselves will want to offer technical solutions to facilitate everyday work.

Let your child choose the tools that help make household chores easier. If his duties include washing dishes or washing his clothes, you can give him money to buy new washing liquids or powders. Do not worry that he will follow the lead of television advertising and will seek to buy only expensive products. Let him try it himself — this will allow him to make sure that high cost does not always coincide with high quality. At the same time, learn to be more critical of advertising.

From letters to Psychologos: “All of the above was practiced in my family; and the severity of the security officer, and the straightforwardness of tactics, and of course the creativity of the inspirer. But at one point, I met the unwillingness of the child to do anything other than what he himself wants. This is where the idea came to me establishing anarchy within our family… «What came of it? See the most interesting article Experiment «Anarchy»: children and parents can do anything!

Reminder system

It happens that the child simply forgets about his duties. He honestly forgets, he is really upset that he forgot — but he forgets. Here you need a system of reminders, and you can use a variety of techniques. The child will choose the way that suits him. It is convenient for an older child to use a table-calendar, in which household chores are indicated in advance and there is a place to mark: done — not done. You can make a large drawing of a tree with unpainted leaves. Each time, having completed some work, the kid can paint over one leaflet (starting from the bottom), gradually the whole tree will “turn green”, and the responsible performer will receive some kind of prize.

For preschoolers and younger students, it can be advised to make a large daisy out of thick paper with a separately cut out core and several petals. On each petal, write one type of homework, interesting and useful activities, etc. (or make drawings). For example: washing dishes, cleaning the room, shopping for groceries, laundry, helping to prepare dinner, completing all lessons on time, morning exercises, reading, needlework, playing sports, etc.

Having done one of the above, the child himself attaches the corresponding petals to the core of the chamomile during the day. Both he and his parents can immediately see what was done during the day. If there are two (or more) children in a family, then everyone makes their own chamomile. You can even arrange family competitions, whose chamomile has more petals in the evening. It is necessary to note not only the quantity of cases, but also the quality of their implementation.

It is clear that there are important circumstances and someone does not have time to do their part of the work: here it is not necessary to swear right away, at first you can help, but sort it out later and kindly. If it is possible to formulate something softly, as a request, it is better to formulate it this way: instead of “you should” — “could you?”. Or: «I wonder if you can ..?». Instead of “do it” — “I really need your help”, etc. However, it is useful to remember the principle of “an iron hand in a velvet glove” and, if necessary, do not forget that it is not you who should remind the child of his affairs and persuade him, but this his duty. Everything is grown-up.

Rewards and punishments

A very important question is about rewards and punishments for work done or not done. Some parents believe that there is no need to specifically encourage them to perform everyday duties. All family members have obligations, but no one gives gifts to adults for washed linen or a cleaned carpet. But do not forget: when a person is just starting to develop a new skill, he really needs support and recognition. In what form it is better to do this depends on the inclinations of the child and on your capabilities. You can praise, give small gifts from time to time, pay more attention to the child (after all, by helping, he saved your time), etc.

Is it worth paying for help around the house? It is possible that in some cases a child or teenager can be encouraged with money. For example, if he helped in a lengthy repair or independently mastered and completed some difficult work. And as for the payment of permanent duties … The consequences may be undesirable.

Many children are happy to help around the house until a certain age. And then the problem of household chores can get up with a new urgency. For example, when a child becomes a teenager.

What if the child does not clean his room? — see Mess in the child’s room

​​​​​​​If the obligation is presented as a status, the child may gladly take on additional work. Tatyana Rozova writes: