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Child development: what a child under one year and older should be able to do
“But my child …” What follows is usually a list of the precious child’s talents. Why do women say this to others? Is it just to prove to myself once again: “I am a good mother”? Our columnist Lyubov Vysotskaya answered everyone who criticizes her son, pretending to praise their children.
The fashion for “Stakhanovites” has reached children. More precisely, even before their mothers. Any playground turns into a hobby group, where it is customary to boast of achievements: five teeth a year, pronounces the letter “P” at two, does not crawl at 8 months, but walks. What should a mother do, whose child is not only not ahead of the generally accepted norms, but is still lagging behind them? Sound the alarm and run to the doctors? No, just relax and don’t panic!
“Not talking yet? Strange, mine has already been chatting with might and main a year. And yours is almost two. Maybe you should go to a speech therapist? Oh, and in a diaper still? Why aren’t you planting it? And the nipple at this age is generally a death for the bite. “
After a conversation with a caring neighbor Christina, I needed a fair share of valerian. Although I wanted a glass of whiskey. I am not the most calm person in life, and then there is such pressure.
“Apparently, I’m a disgusting mother,” I shook my husband’s face with the age tables “What a child should be able to do”. – Lags behind on almost all counts. Here at Christina … “
“But our son already knows the letters, and he can show the words with his finger in the book. And from the cubes he adds up the phone numbers by heart. And her daughter barely reads in the first grade, – “consoled” her husband. – The neurologist told you: everything is within the normal range. Be patient”.
The forbidden trick worked. And I suddenly thought: it’s true, everything has its time.
Tim was breastfed up to a year and a half. Neither me nor it bothered him. I was not going to excommunicate a year, as my friends did, leaving the child for two or three days to dad or grandmother. There is a time for everything, before school he will definitely not hold on to my chest.
In the end, it all ended overnight and without much bloodshed. I collapsed with bronchitis and was prescribed antibiotics. A couple of times in a dream I slipped a bottle of water instead of a breast, and on this the issue was resolved.
At two years old, my son still had no speech. “Mom” and “Dad” – this is all that we have been awarded from time to time. Repeat syllables? Clap? Parents, what a circus, do it yourself. At the same time, the child understood the addressed speech perfectly, had already learned both letters and numbers for a long time. Everything has its time. I relaxed.
The son spoke quickly. In just a week, syllables and individual words appeared. Three weeks later, he was already building complex sentences with turnovers “for example”, “because” and “let’s figure it out.” It turned out that he had memorized all the books he had read to him. A month later, in terms of vocabulary, he was already significantly ahead of his peers who spoke a year earlier.
The calendar? No, you haven’t heard
“The child should sleep in his bed!” – my mother-in-law edifyingly told me.
Are you kidding me? No, we certainly tried it. But getting up to the bed eight times in four hours is not for me. Therefore, without the slightest remorse, I put the crumbs under the side of me and my husband. And up to two years old, all three of us had a great sleep. Everything has its time, – the mantra continued to work. Shared sleep was smoothly reduced to a minimum when the son was bought his own “adult” bed instead of an infant bassinet. But even now, when he periodically comes to sleep with us in the morning, it does not bother me. I understand that the time will come when we will miss these moments.
The pot was sorted out when the son was already about three years old. Moreover, all our early landings were completely ignored. A chair, a helmet, a parking lot for cars – anything, just not using this accessory for its intended purpose. At some point, we gave up: everything has its time. And one fine day, the son himself, without any persuasion or reminder, proudly sat down on his toilet throne.
The hardest part was with the nipple. We could not part with her – for a dream – for more than three years. Well, nothing, everything has its time: at some point, the child abandoned her on his own. And the bite was not hurt.
I can go on listing what Timofey did with “behind schedule” for a very long time. Actually, as well as a list of what he learned much earlier than expected. And I made sure once again: each child develops according to its own calendar. And to drive it into some kind of “standards” is just a harmful occupation.
Modern children “break” all the established norms of development. The reflexes remained in place, but the periods of sleep and wakefulness changed. They very quickly have a need for social contact with their mother. Kids can listen to the speech addressed to them for a long time, attract the attention of others not for the sake of satisfying physiological needs, but out of boredom. Even 10 years ago, a speech was expected from a one-year-old child. Now children perceive more and less reproduce. Speech appears after 18 months, physical activity develops differently. No need to worry and worry about this. Just remember that all children are different and everything has its own time!
If every month a child lags behind the norm in all physical parameters, develops “along the lower corridor”, but there are no other pathologies, this is not a reason to panic. Gradually he will catch up with his peers. However, there is a pattern, though not medically proven: if the child later turned over, sat down later, got up later, in the future, speech delay is often observed. But if the lag is serious, the child should still be shown to the doctor.