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Cherophobia or fear of being happy: does it really exist?
Psychology
This situation occurs when a person feels rejection or even aversion to the idea of being happy
Can you imagine someone who does not want to be happy? Well, it is not as impossible as it seems. The ‘cherofobia’, which we can describe as the ‘fear of being happy’, is the aversion or avoidance of happiness. That is to say, it is not simply a matter of not being happy with what one has, or despite apparently having everything in life, but rather of associating being happy with elements that make us feel bad. “Even happiness can be associated with negative feelings or irrational thoughts that ‘force’ you away from it,” says Aída Rubio, coordinator of the TherapyChat team of psychologists.
In order to explain how it can be that someone does not want to be happy, the psychologist puts as
For example, food or sex, both human and pleasurable needs that, however, there are people who abhor. Why for this? Because they have been generated learning processes from one’s own experience or from the observation of others or from inadequate information, which has led them to develop an aversion to them, ”says the professional.
The reasons for suffering from ‘cherophobia’ are varied. The psychologist comments that there is no more prone person profile to get to this extreme. Some of the most frequent reasons that can lead to this problem, says the psychologist, are the following:
Why does ‘cherophobia’ occur
1. The feeling of guilt. There are people who tend to demand more responsibility and a sense of guilt from themselves than from others. When this tendency becomes customary, we can have a person who feels that being happy is a transgression of their obligations. Your comfort zone does not contemplate happiness.
2. Living in a slave society of the welfare state. When happiness becomes an obligation, it is possible to develop an aversion to happiness.
3. The fear of loss. Just as there are people who flee from romantic relationships for fear of being hurt, we also find those who are afraid of achieving happiness and losing it.
4. Thinking that you don’t deserve to be happy. There are people who have the misfortune of being born and growing up in unfavorable families to develop a positive and stable self-esteem, which have made them fervently believe that they do not deserve to be happy because they are not worth it.
Of course, the main consequence of ‘cherophobia’ is not being happy, but people who have this behavior end up with more consequences. The first is easy: get away from friends and family, as well as yourself. Also, in this situation it is easy to experience emptiness, or a lack of purpose. “We will agree that if one does not see the possibility of being happy in this life, and even trips to achieve it, one can come to consider what the point of living”, argues the psychologist. Also, he points out that many limits are created in personal growth, both at work and in the most private.
Who does our happiness depend on?
Although there are exceptions of people who do not seek happiness, the vast majority of the population has as one of their vital objectives to be happy. «It doesn’t matter how old you are or when you are, the goal of happiness is universal. The nuance resides in the fact that this experience takes on a different form based on the objectives and expectations of each moment, ”explains Aída Rubio. For this reason, he comments that, if we want to be happy, we must “dedicate a part of our life to this matter.” “No matter how busy we are with professional issues, projects, daily errands or social plans … we have a real commitment to our own happiness,” he says. And he concludes: “We cannot delegate this involvement to anyone else since it is about our life history.”