Brent Almond is a writer and dad of four-year-old JJ. He is one of millions of introverted parents who have been lucky (or unlucky, opinions differ) to raise hyper-sociable, constantly eager little extroverts. He shared his experience on the Huffington Post website.
Brent Almond – writer, designer, blog designerdaddy.com
“Recently, I again found myself chasing my son, who ran ahead of me and skillfully squeezes here and there through the crowd. This time we were in his kindergarten, on a holiday dedicated to Halloween. In each room, another task awaited him, which JJ completed and quickly moved on to the next one as soon as he received his prize.
He, four-year-old and nimble, and I, the size of one and a half parents, turned this chase into an exercise in meaninglessness. So I followed him at a sufficient distance to show others that I was still in control, so that he could hear my voice and not have to scream.
My insides clenched as I watched him almost crash into a child in a wheelchair and nearly knock over a teacher with a large box of cupcakes. The only reason I kept up with him was that every few seconds he would stop in front of someone and announce, “I’m Batman!” Then he was in a hurry to hit the next enemy again and put a new toy or treat in his plastic gourd. And I asked myself, over and over, “Is this normal? He is OK? Am I too stressed out? Am I doing everything right? Will he ever slow down?”
The son was the only child who, after returning from the holidays, gathered the entire kindergarten around him
You see, I am an introvert raising an extroverted child.
I understand that maybe someone will not consider me an introvert. I’m definitely the center of attention at some point, but it takes a special circumstance or a couple of missed rum and colas to do so. Unlike me, for my son, this is a completely natural state.
And yes, I understand that he is only four years old. And all four-year-olds are sometimes uncontrollable. And that boys are boys. But while I was running after him, he was the only child who could run through the corridors so long and so fast. And although there were several other batmen and batwoman in the kindergarten, only he announced his own status with such frequency and temperament. He is also the only child in his group whose crib is placed next to the teacher’s desk so that he does not wake anyone up during nap time. And he was the only child who, after returning from the holidays, gathered the entire kindergarten around him.
I compare him to myself at his age. Or at any age. I have never been a leader. I was a peacemaker, best friend, favorite of the teachers. Jay Jay is not a teacher’s pet in the traditional sense, but he is known and loved by everyone in kindergarten, both children and adults.
As far as I can tell, JJ is the most outgoing and outgoing kid around. By “here” I mean “everywhere”. He is constantly “on task”, and I follow him and make sure that he does not run too far, does not push anyone or cross the road.
My father and I recently confessed to each other that we are “parentally jealous” of one of JJ’s classmates. He’s about a year younger, sweet, a little shy and quiet kid… who, of course, admires JJ. As did his mom. She loves it when her son walks with ours, because she hopes that JJ will be able to loosen him up a bit. We hope that the opposite will also happen and that our out of breath bunny will also try on a turtle costume for a short time ..
Son like no one teaches me fearlessness and the ability to give all the best
Of course, as an introvert, I worry about what other people think. I’ve definitely got rid of some of that weight, although it’s still with me. I’ve learned to deal effectively and calmly (to some degree) with situations, whether it’s a long flight with my son or JJ’s next tantrum on the playground. To hell with judgmental looks.
But I don’t have ready-made advice for myself or for anyone in my shoes. But when I write about it, I can think it over and finally come to my senses. While I am trying to find a balance: it is important for me to set limits for my son’s behavior and at the same time give him the opportunity to express himself. Take care of his safety, allowing him to take risks. I want to take this unique opportunity and use it to my own height, let it pull me out of my comfort zone and stop relying too much on other people’s opinions.
I spent many years (and money) pulling myself out of said comfort zone. My son, like no one else, helps me push my own limits, teaches me fearlessness and the ability to give all the best, helps me live life as actively, loudly and quickly as I can. Despite my confusion, I can clearly state that my son’s confidence and enthusiasm bring me great joy. I admire how open he is to everything, how boldly he announces to the world who he is and what opponent or challenge he is going to face right now. But my superhero still holds my hand as we cross the street. And we both need it, if only for a while.”