Charlize Theron: «I will not sue the one I loved»

I booked a table for us at a restaurant in Miami. The terrace picturesquely hangs over the edge of the ocean, into which the sun slowly sinks, shimmering in different colors. Downstairs, everything is relaxed, resort-like, everyone enjoys the tranquility. And sets to a touchingly romantic tone: the sunset gilds her hair and caresses her bare shoulders with the last rays …

“Ugh, I say it again: dinner is early, drinks are late!” Her determined voice breaks into my thought patterns. She broke away from our conversation to answer the phone. And her low voice, ironic tone, like almost everything in her, is a denial of clichés and tenderness. She is incredibly beautiful, her height is 180 cm. She is very sincere, but there is not a word superfluous in her answers.

Theron is a beautiful blonde who has not played in any romantic comedy. She shaved lightly for her role as a one-armed bandit in Mad Max and put on 15 kg to be convincing in the yet-to-be-released Tully, a film about motherhood.

She changed her divine appearance and became horrific in order to tell what seemed to her an important story of a male-hating serial killer in «Monster». Charlize is proud of the “Oscar” for him, but not because it was she who was awarded — it’s just that not a single distributor wanted to release “this frightening film”, but she did not chicken out and became its producer.

The actress is also proud of the prizes from Victoria’s Secret for «the sexiest legs in the world», because this is the most sincere and at the same time the most stupid approval that she got from the world. “Oh yes, I have mirrored floors in my office so that I can always watch my sexiest legs!” — she ironically again, knocking over the «screwdriver».

The fact is that Charlize Theron is not looking for approval. She is not very interested in opinions about herself and lives by a personal sense of what she owes and wants. Moreover, she lives mostly in her own circle: here, in Miami, she rents a house for herself, children — Jackson and August, press agent Amanda (“She will kill me for our conversation!”), Assistant Elizabeth and friend Cindy — costume designer .

For all her impeccable upbringing, there is a certainty in her that can be mistaken for harshness. She does not shy away from not quite printed expressions, for her there are practically no unconditional authorities, and she can say something sharp to your eyes — behind her, as they say, she will not rust. That’s how it is now.

Charlize Theron: Listen, you men are some tearful romantics. Your romance is in rationalization. You seek to cram the world into a reasonable framework. And he is elemental. Life is a storm, a thunderstorm, a storm. I can’t forget how the director of my first significant film, The Devil’s Advocate, Taylor Hackford, gave me about 15 auditions, I already played the entire film on them, and he says: “Well, I don’t believe it! Can a man cheat on you?

And this is typically masculine: you think that only ugly, evil, bad people are cheated on. And good beauties and handsome men — no, no. As if betrayal, parting certainly has a reason that can be rationally put into words.

Psychologies: It’s hard to resist and not ask about your men. After nine years of relationship with Stuart Townsend, you broke up. A serious romance with Sean Penn is also over …

People disperse, you know?

But it cannot be that partings in such a serious relationship do not have specific reasons!

And in my opinion, partings are more often caused by vague feelings, a premonition of the end of the connection, an awareness of the inevitability of a new stage in life. And all this is vague, unclear — it is concrete. Yes, we lived with Stuart for nine years. And then we went to Mexico for a month, and there … You see, there, when we did not part for an hour, it suddenly became clear to both of us that we were no longer a couple, not lovers, not spouses. We are like brother and sister. And now everyone has to go their own way. So we parted, relatives.

With Sean it was different. When we met, I felt really happy, I already had Jackson, from a certain moment my son began to demonstrate that he was a person, and I really liked this person — independent, responsible. And it seems that’s why Sean fell in love with me — I was happy and calm, and he felt the same.

We did not fill the «holes» in each other, on the contrary — two … fullness, two harmonies were connected. That is, we have known each other and even been friends in a common company for twenty years, but we met at a new stage of life and united.

Sean became friends with Jackson and supported me in my decision to have another child — I then adopted August. But it was never meant to be adopted by my children. Each of us recognized the limits of the fate of the other. And there is nothing dramatic in the fact that we broke up. It’s just that the destinies are divided.

You’ve always avoided marriage…

I never saw the point in it. When I was with Stuart, I considered him a husband, and he considered me a wife. I always felt that marriage was created for divorce — well, in order to divide property legally correctly. And I never intended to sue those whom I loved.

The last time I went on a date… yes, 20 years ago. So, then the logic was like this: you are a loser, you have mood swings, but I will forgive all this, because you are still so cute. And also: you treat me harshly, rudely, but maybe everything will change in five years, when we have common children. There is nothing more of this. Partners are equal, marriage itself does not hold anything together, and people have appeared in my life who really love me. This is what changed me.

There is such a psychological stamp that one who did not see a positive family model in childhood is often unable to create his own marriage …

And this stamp, of course, applies to me, I understand. I grew up in the most dysfunctional marriage possible — my mother ended up killing my father in self-defense. I do not deny that this is a trauma. But you see, I grew up in such love …

Mom is my best friend. As soon as the opportunity arose, I moved her from South Africa to Los Angeles, we lived in neighboring houses, and now we are completely together. We go to yoga, we cook, she’s a XNUMX/XNUMX grandmother because I can’t always be a XNUMX/XNUMX mom. She pulled the third largest road construction company we have in South Africa, and she always looked amazing, nothing could break her.

I saw in front of me a model of female strength, my mother is like that now. This injury and its power certainly had an impact on me as I grew up. But Africa itself has influenced me even more. My country. Americans still say that I do not understand anything in America. And partly it’s true — I’m too African, still.

I grew up under apartheid, in conditions of obvious injustice, in circumstances where anger, rage seemed to hang in the air. I grew up when apartheid was over and the prospects for the white minority were far from bright … This is also a trauma. I left a country whose future seemed tragic. Many believed that it did not exist at all.

I go back there all the time, although not everyone there considers me one of their own. In their eyes, I have betrayed South Africa. But I’m coming back — with a program to combat violence against women, with a big project against the spread of HIV … I’m going to my homeland not to prove that I belong there. I do this because I am mine. Probably, all this also affects my understanding and feeling of family. Motherland is an extended family. And I have a complicated relationship with my family.

Sorry for the faux pas… But didn’t the very fact of adoption reflect the desire to start a family without resorting to partnership with a man? After all, you adopted Jackson some time after breaking up with Townsend …

Funny question. Truly funny. When I had already completely decided on adoption, my mother showed me a letter that I wrote to her at the age of eight. I told them what kind of gift I want to get for Christmas — that we go to the orphanage and take a sister or brother. I don’t know where it came from in me. Maybe from the air of South Africa — in the early 1980s there were so many orphans! People despaired and abandoned their children.

But anyway, I kept it. I’ve always wanted to adopt someone. Even when we lived with Stuart, this idea was not a reserve, but the main airfield. But we looked at her differently, so Jackson showed up when we weren’t together. You know, for some reason it always seemed to me: if you have someone to take care of, you will not be lost.

When I arrived from New York to Los Angeles, I felt completely lost. My career as a ballerina was buried due to a knee injury, and I was devoted to ballet completely and unconditionally, I just did not see anything but it.

There are three things in the world that build character — sports, ballet and music. Everything is arranged in them simply and without alternatives: work and you will be able to do what you could not do yesterday. They have a clear incentive, achieved by effort, will, concentration. And then I found myself at the foot of a sheer cliff. And it was not clear what kind of effort could overcome it. But I’m in Los Angeles and I don’t understand what to do: to be a model again? Yearning.

Becoming an actress is the only way out. Trying to book auditions, find acting classes. I’m renting a loft for two with a friend. I don’t know what will happen to me tomorrow, in a week, and there is something fascinating and terrible at the same time in this. But I’m walking down the street and I see a sign — «Puppies». I go in, take the dog and carry it to our loft. My friend: “Charlie, are you sick? How can you take on such a responsibility when you don’t know where you yourself will be next week?”

And I didn’t take responsibility, it was just that my body went into a house with a sign «Puppies» and chose one. And soon there will be a second one — a half-breed Cocker Spaniel. And these two of my dogs became a sign that I was staying in Los Angeles, I would not go anywhere from there. The decision had already been made, although I myself was not yet aware of this report.

The same with adoption — I became more confident and focused when I got Jackson. As if nothing fatal can happen to me anymore — dependence on my children keeps me. But this, of course, is only a feeling. There is nothing rational here.

You are that rare woman who did not have to prepare herself for motherhood. Responsibility really did not scare you?

Yes, it was only then that I felt happy! I felt that I was finally doing something extremely important, essential, if you like. It’s just that if you take the years after my move to Los Angeles … As if I constantly had to hurry, run, be in time. As if I’m going to die tomorrow without finishing a lot of things.

And then I became a mother. And it turned out that I like this maternal life, everyday life, unhurriedness, which I could not even imagine before — changing diapers, taking muesli out of curls, reading fairy tales, looking for a rubber dragon that has fallen behind the bath … The most necessary thing in the world! And this is the ultimate truth.