Author Dmitry Morozov
Volitional effort is developed in collisions of unconscious inner aspirations (which we express with age with the words “I want”) with obstacles in the outside world.
A blow to an obstacle makes one comprehend what happened, seek help and explanation from parents.
Your task is to ensure that after each blow there is an awareness of causes and effects, competence and courage grow.
This is how you become protectors and helpers.
My father said — «A man must be strong, train.»
I understood what he was saying, but I could not overcome my natural laziness and irresponsibility for my own fate. That is, what was heard did not become a conscious motive for action.
I even had some interest in wrestling and boxing, I remember. And there was no thirst, no real desire to become strong. Until I was tritely «stuffed in the face»!
After that, I began to engage in sambo wrestling, then karate.
This is how a human being works, he understands and realizes only what has become truly necessary.
It is possible to educate strong and conscious personalities only in close contact with real obstacles and challenges.
Svyatoslav first fought when he was six years and two months old. His opponent was nine years old and the forces were clearly unequal. But I watched what was happening from around the corner, quietly rejoicing that Svyatoslav’s first physical conflict was taking place in a relatively safe form. The boy next door was emotional, but not angry, and waved his arms gently enough not to bruise.
Svyatoslav recognized the limits of his abilities, realized that a fight hurts. But he did not fall into hysterics, but retreated with dignity. The happy father watched from around the corner as his child transformed fear into “justified anger” and, with a serious face, tried to poke a larger opponent in the chest with a small fist. He received it, stepped back and, with obvious resentment on his face, raised a large stone. Now it’s time to intervene. I came out from around the corner and loudly commanded: “But this is not necessary, put down the stone!”. Both fighters froze, trying to anticipate my reaction. In the eyes of Svyatoslav, I saw a clear relief, after all, he did not want a conflict with a stronger opponent. My appearance in this situation was received with joy and relief. Once again he was convinced that he needed his dad. Of course, if I started to punish the guys, I would have knocked down both the feeling of victory and the joy of my own appearance. Yes, and the neighbor’s boy was not to blame — I have no doubt that Svyatoslav himself provoked him into a conflict, refusing to obey during the game. Therefore, I simply said: «Enough of the men — they measured their strength, now make peace.» Both are relieved that I do not swear and do not punish, it was so great that it erased the recent feeling of mutual resentment and anger. They exchanged smiles and shook hands in a very «adult» way. Now Svyatoslav is engaged in physical exercises much more often on his own initiative and less often shows his difficult character to older boys.