Chapter 5

While Part II briefly describes the process of change in the client, the focus is on the relationships that make that change possible. In the first and second chapters of this part of the book, the material is devoted to the perception of such changes by the client himself.

I have a special relationship with this chapter. It was written in 1951-1952, when I was really trying to give myself the opportunity to feel and then express the phenomenon that seems to me central to client-centered psychotherapy. My book Client-Centered Psychotherapy had just been published, but I was no longer satisfied with the chapter on the process of psychotherapy written about two years ago. I wanted to convey more dynamically what happens to a person during psychotherapy.

Therefore, I considered the psychotherapy of one client, whom I also studied from a scientific point of view, and using this very important psychotherapy as a basis for me, I tried to describe my perception of the process of psychotherapy. I felt very cocky and insecure when I pointed out that with successful psychotherapy, the client is likely to begin to feel really warm about himself. I felt even more uncertain as I hypothesized that the core of human nature is inherently positive. I could not then foresee that both hypotheses would find more and more support in my experience.

The process of psychotherapy, as is known from the works on client-centered direction, is a unique dynamic experience, individual for different people, but showing a surprisingly universal pattern and sequence. While I was increasingly impressed with many aspects of this process, I became increasingly annoyed with the questions that are usually asked: «Will this psychotherapy cure obsessive-compulsive disorder?» psychosis?”, “Does it help with family problems?”, “Can it be used for stuttering or homosexuality?”, “Is the cure stable?” These and other similar questions are understandable and legitimate, just as in the case of frostbite it is reasonable to ask whether gamma rays are suitable for its treatment. However, it seems to me that these are not the questions to ask if one wants to go deeper into understanding what psychotherapy is or what it can achieve. In this chapter, I would like to ask a question that I think is more reasonable in relation to this amazing and natural process called psychotherapy, and I am going to answer it in part.

Let me put my question this way: whether by chance, through intuitive insight, through scientific knowledge, through the art of human relations, or through a combination of all these means, we learned how to start the described process, which seems to be based on Are consecutive events similar for different clients? We know at least something about the relationships that serve as conditions for starting this process. We know that if the therapist has an inner attitude of deep respect and complete acceptance of the client as he is, and a similar attitude towards the client’s ability to cope with himself and the situation, if this relationship is filled with enough warmth that transforms it into a very deep affection or love for the client’s personality, and if such a level of communication is reached that the client begins to see that the therapist understands the feelings he is experiencing, accepts them with deep understanding, then we can be sure that the process of psychotherapy has begun. Then, instead of insisting that this process serves the intended purposes (however laudable those purposes may be), let’s ask just one question that will actually advance science. The question is: what is the nature of this process, what are its characteristics, what direction or directions does it take, what is the natural end point of this process, if it exists? When Benjamin Franklin saw a spark flying from a rod on a kite string, he was fortunately not tempted by the practical and immediate applications of this phenomenon. Instead, he began to study the underlying processes that made this phenomenon possible. Although many of the answers he offered were wrong, the search itself was fruitful because the right questions were asked. Therefore, I ask that we be allowed to ask the same kind of vague questions about psychotherapy so that we try to describe, study and understand the basic processes that underlie psychotherapy, and not distort the description of the process to meet the needs of the clinic, to confirm already existing dogmas or dogmas from some other area. Let’s patiently examine it by itself.

Recently I tried to start such a client-centered description of psychotherapy. I won’t repeat it, except that from the clinical and scientific evidence, certain constant characteristics of this process seem to emerge: an increase in the number of insight-driven statements, the maturity of observed behavior, a positive attitude as psychotherapy continues; changes in perception and self-acceptance; the inclusion of previously rejected experience in the structure of personality; shift of the source of assessment — the transition from external assessment to internal; changes in psychotherapeutic relationships; characteristic changes in the structure of the personality, in behavior and in the physiological state. Although some of these characterizations may be misleading, they represent an attempt to understand the process of client-centered psychotherapy in terms of her own concepts drawn from clinical practice, from tape-recorded oral histories and from the forty or more studies conducted in this areas.

The purpose of this article is to go beyond these data and to reveal certain aspects of psychotherapy that have previously received little attention (Rogers, CR Client-Centered Therapy. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co., 1951, Chapter IV, «The Process of Therapy»).

I would like to describe some of the directions and ends inherent in the psychotherapeutic process, which we have barely begun to clearly distinguish and which seem to be very significant, but have not yet been the subject of research. To more accurately convey their meanings, I will use an interview with one client as an illustration. I will also confine myself to a discussion of client-centered psychotherapy, for now I have to admit that perhaps the process, direction, and end goals of psychotherapy may be different in different theories.

Sense of potential self

Self (“I”) is the result or process of a person’s direct sensation of his being, which allows him to experience his integrity, self-identity and distinguish himself from non-self, “I” from “not-I”. — Approx. ed.

All clients during psychotherapy experienced what can be defined as «awareness of experiences» or even «feeling of experiences». In this work, I have called this «feeling myself», although this term also does not quite achieve the goal. In a secure relationship with the client-centered therapist, in the absence of any explicit or implicit threat to the self, the client can afford to explore the various aspects of his experience in their sensory immediacy as they are given to him by his sensory and visceral to the internal organs. — Approx. ed.) mechanisms, without distorting them so that they correspond to his ideas about himself, the so-called «self concept» (Self concept («I-concept» or «self-concept») — a more or less conscious, stable system of the individual’s beliefs about himself, which includes physical, emotional, cognitive, social, and behavioral characteristics.—ed. It turned out that many of his experiences are in serious conflict with his ideas about himself and therefore usually cannot be felt in their entirety. However, in these secure relationships, they can seep into consciousness without distortion. Therefore, the following pattern is often observed: “I am such and such, but I also experience a feeling that does not at all correspond to what I am. I love my parents, but sometimes they give me such a bitter feeling that surprises me. I’m really bad, but sometimes I feel like I’m better than others.» Thus, at first it is affirmed: «I am not the same as part of my experiences.» Further, this statement takes on a conjectural connotation: «Perhaps I have several «I» in me, or perhaps there are many more contradictions in me than I imagine.» Even later, this type of statement is transformed into the following: “I was sure that I am not my experiences, they contradict each other too much; but now I’m beginning to believe that I include all my inner experience.»

Perhaps the essence of this aspect of psychotherapy can be conveyed in two passages from Mrs. Oak’s psychotherapy. Mrs Oak was a forty year old housewife. The reason for psychotherapy was the difficulties in marital and family relationships. In contrast to many of my clients, she had a deep natural interest in the processes that she felt were going on in her. Tape recordings of conversations with her contain material that reflects her own perception of everything that happened in her. In words, she tried to express what seemed to be present in many clients, but did not find verbal expression in them. For this reason, most of the passages in this chapter are taken from her case of psychotherapy.

The material describing the awareness of the experience we are discussing is taken from the beginning of the fifth discourse.

Client: “It’s not at all clear to me, but you know, the thought comes to me all the time, all the time, that all this looks like looking at separate parts of a riddle picture. It seems to me that I am now considering separate pieces that do not have any meaning. Perhaps I’m sorting through them without even thinking about the overall pattern. It comes to my mind all the time. And this is interesting, because I don’t like riddle pictures at all. They always annoyed me. But that’s how I feel. I pick up little pieces (she gestures throughout the conversation to illustrate her statements) with absolutely no meaning, just feeling these pieces, I still do not see the overall pattern, but by touching, laying out these pieces, I feel that they will make a picture «.

Therapist: “And at that moment you feel that some form is looming, and in the background you feel that they will probably add up somehow, but obviously most of the attention is occupied with the question: how does it feel?”

Client: «Right. There is something almost physical about it. Ah…”

Therapist: «Can’t you describe it properly without moving your arms? A real, almost sensual sensation in…”

Client: «Right. Again, it feels like I’m very objective, and yet I’ve never been so close to myself.»

Therapist: “At the same time, having stepped back, you look at yourself from the side and in this position somehow approach yourself more than …”

Client: «Uh-huh. And for the first time in months, I don’t think about my problems. I really don’t think so. I don’t think about them.»

Therapist: “I get the impression that you haven’t seriously thought about your problems. It’s not that feeling at all.»

Client: «Yes. Right. I really got distracted from the ultimate goal — to put the picture together. Maybe I just like the feel of it. Or, of course, I learn something.

Therapist: “At least you feel that the immediate goal is to feel it, and not that you are doing it, to see the picture, but it is the satisfaction of actually getting to know each piece. This is…»

Client: “That’s right. That’s it. And it still becomes somehow sensual when I touch these pieces. Very interesting. Sometimes it’s not very pleasant, of course, but … »

Therapist: «Quite an unusual kind of experience.»

Client: «Yes».

This passage clearly shows that the experiences being experienced become conscious without any attempt to make sense of them as part of oneself or to relate them to other experiences that are in the field of consciousness. It is, to put it more precisely, the awareness of a wide range of experience in the absence of thought about its connection with one’s «I». Later, what was experienced can be realized as part of oneself. That’s why this section was called «Feeling Your Potential Self».

The fact that this is a new and unusual form of experience is reflected in the confused but emotionally clear part of the sixth discourse.

Client: “Uh-huh, I caught myself thinking that during these sessions I kind of sing a song. Now it sounds kind of weird. Not even quite a song, but something like a poem, because I can’t hear the music. It comes naturally to me and I love it. I mean, it comes straight out of nothing. And at the same time, no, it comes, yes, some other feeling comes. I asked myself: does this happen to all patients? Perhaps I’m just talking and talking and being drugged by my own words? And then the thought arose: am I wasting your time? Doubts overcame me. And then something else happened to me. It came from somewhere, I don’t know, but certainly not from some logical chain of thought. A thought dawned on me: we put the pieces together without any hesitation, no special interest, no excitement, no thought that this is similar to how blind people learn to read Braille with their fingers. Maybe that’s what I’m experiencing right now.»

Therapist: «Let’s see if I can deduce something, any sequence of feelings. First, it seems to me that we both think that a poem, a song without music, is the first, rather positive step that can be creative, and then, after some time, a skeptical feeling comes: “Maybe I’m just talking, I’m just getting carried away by the words that I say, and maybe all this is really nonsense. And then the feeling may come that you have almost learned to experience your new experience in a new way, which will be as new for you as for a blind man who is trying to understand what he feels with his fingers.

Client: «Hmm. (Pause.) I sometimes reason with myself. Well, we could take a closer look at each individual case. It seems to me that with the end of the stream of words that no one forced me to pronounce, some doubts arise, something seems unreal, false. Perhaps I have doubts about all this, because no one imposed or forced me to do this. And indeed, I feel that what I should do is to bring everything into a system. We need to work harder and…”

Therapist: “You seem to be wondering to yourself: what am I doing with the “I” without striving for any action or solution? (Pause.)

Client: “But the bottom line is that I actually like this, so to speak, painful feeling, I mean — I experienced something that I had never felt before. I like it too. Maybe that’s how it should be done. I do not know now».

This is where the shift occurs, which almost certainly occurs in psychotherapy, if there is any depth in it. Schematically, it can be represented as the following feelings of the client: «I came here to solve my problems, and now it turns out that I just feel my experiences.» This shift in the client is usually also accompanied by a rational formulation that this is wrong, and an emotional assessment that it «causes a pleasant feeling.»

In conclusion of this section, we can say that one of the fundamental directions of the process of psychotherapy is the free sensation of the body’s true sensory and visceral reactions without including them in oneself, in the «I». Usually it is accompanied by the conviction that the experience is not «I» and cannot become a part of me. The final moment of this process is that the client discovers that he is what he experiences in all its diversity and all its superficial contradictions. Instead of fitting their experience into a «self-concept» by denying those aspects of it that do not fit this concept, the client can express himself in terms of his experience.

Deep experience of positive attitude

One of the most recently identified elements that determine the effectiveness of psychotherapy is how much the client learns in the course of therapy to deeply, freely, without fear, accept the positive feelings of another person. This phenomenon does not always occur easily. It seems to be especially typical of longer psychotherapy cases, but even there it does not always occur. However, this is such a deep experience that it begs the question if it is not an extremely important aspect of the psychotherapeutic process, which in successful psychotherapy may not be partially expressed with the help of words. Before discussing this phenomenon, let me materialize it using a description of the experience of my client, Mrs. Oak. This experience suddenly took hold of her between the twenty-ninth and thirtieth conversation, and in the last conversation she shares it with the therapist. Mrs. Oak begins the thirtieth hour of psychotherapy as follows:

Client: “Here I made an amazing discovery. I know it’s… (Laughs) I’ve found that you really care how it goes. (Both laugh.) I got the feeling of… well… «maybe I’ll let you in.» If I had been asked in an exam, I would have given the correct answer. I want to say… but it immediately dawned on me that in the… in the relationship between the consultant and the client, you really care about what happens to us. And it was a revelation, but … No, not that. I didn’t express myself that way. It was… the closest. How would you best express it? It’s like relaxation, it doesn’t let go, but … (pause) rather straightening without tension, if I may say so. I don’t know».

Therapist: «It sounds like it wasn’t a new thought, but a new experience of a genuine feeling that I actually treated you well, and if I understood the rest, it was like a desire on your part to allow me to treat you well.»

Client: «Yes».

That in this case the counselor and his warm involvement in the client’s problems were allowed to enter Mrs. Oak’s life is undoubtedly one of the most salient features of psychotherapy. In the conversation following the end of psychotherapy, Mrs. Oak casually mentions that this experience was the most important for her. What does it mean?

This is certainly not a phenomenon of transference and countertransference↑

Transference in psychoanalysis is the transfer to the personality of the psychotherapist of the feelings experienced by the client in the past in relation to people significant to him: parents or those who replaced them. Countertransference is a phenomenon of the same nature, namely, the transference of the therapist’s feelings onto the client’s personality. — Approx. ed

Some experienced psychologists who have undergone psychoanalysis have had the opportunity to observe the development of this kind of attitude in other clients. They were the first to object to the use of the terms «transference» and «countertransference» to describe this phenomenon. The essence of their remarks boiled down to the fact that in our relations there is reciprocity and correspondence to the real situation, while transference and countertransference are phenomena that are characterized by one-pointedness and inconsistency with the real situation.

Of course, one of the reasons why this phenomenon occurs more frequently in our experience is that we as therapists have become less afraid to express our positive (or negative) feelings to the client. In the process of psychotherapy, the feeling of acceptance and respect for the client usually develops into something approaching a feeling of reverence, when the therapist observes the heroic passionate struggle of a person striving to become himself. I think that the therapist has a deep sense of an inner community, we would say a brotherhood of people. Therefore, he feels a warm, positive, friendly attitude towards the client. This poses a problem for the client, as he often, as in this case, finds it difficult to accept the other’s positive feelings. However, if he accepts them, this inevitably leads to the fact that the client relaxes, allowing the warmth of the love of another person to reduce the tension and fear with which the client meets life.

But we are getting ahead of our client. Let’s look at other aspects of Mrs. Oak’s experience. In earlier conversations, she said that she did not love humanity and that she somehow vaguely and stubbornly felt that she was right, despite the fact that others thought she was wrong. She notes this again when she discusses how this experience clarified her relationship to other people.

Client: “The next thing that came to my mind, what I found, what I was thinking about and now I’m still thinking, it’s kind of … and it’s not clear to me why … it’s that I don’t feel indifferent when I say: “I don’t like humanity». And it’s always been kind of connected… I mean, I’ve always been convinced of that. So I mean, it’s not… you see, I knew it was good. And I think I’ve cleared it up inside… how that relates to this situation, I don’t know. But I discovered, no, I do not just love humanity, but that I am terribly partial to it.

Therapist: “Mm, mr. I understand».

Client: “It would be better to say that I am terribly touched by what will happen. But this interest … appears … its essence is in understanding and in not judging or helping what I feel is false and … It seems to me that in love there is, as it were, a decisive moment. If you do this, then you’ve done enough. This is…»‘

Therapist: «So, almost so.»

Client: «Yeah. It seems to me that this is a different — a positive feeling … of course, this name is not quite suitable, I mean, probably, it needs to be described in some other way. To say that it is something impersonal is to say nothing, because it is not impersonal at all. I mean, I feel like it’s very much part of the whole. But this is something that for some reason does not stop … It seems to me that you can have a feeling of love for humanity, for people, and at the same time … you continue to contribute to everything that makes people nervous, sick … what I feel “So it’s resistance to everything.”

Therapist: «You care enough to want to understand and not help something that leads to more neuroticism or something like that in human life.»

Client: «Yes. And it’s… (Pause.) Yes, it’s something like that… Well, again I have to go back to how I feel about it. It’s… I wasn’t really forced to talk about myself. It’s like being in an auction where nothing is final… It bothered me sometimes when I had to admit to myself that I didn’t love humanity, but I always knew there was something positive about me as well. I was probably right. And… I may be “crazy” right now, but I think it has something to do with… this feeling that I… I have now… with how psychotherapy can help. Now I can’t connect it, I can’t connect it, but it’s as close as I can explain to myself… my… well, let’s say… the process of learning, awakening my understanding that… yes, you actually feel good about me in this situation. It’s that simple. And I didn’t realize it before. I could close that door and go out and, when discussing psychotherapy, say that the counselor must have felt this way and that, but I mean I wouldn’t have had this all-changing experience.»

Although the woman in this passage is trying to express her own feelings, what she is saying is typical of the therapist’s relationship with the client as well. At its best, his attitude, which is called love, is devoid of such a side of him as quid pro quo (“quid pro quo”, “you to me, I to you”). This is a simple human feeling that goes from one person to another; a feeling that seems to me more important than sexual or parental. This is such a positive feeling towards a person, which is not mixed with a desire to change the direction of his development or somehow use it. It gives you satisfaction when you release him so that he embarks on his own path of development.

Our client goes on to discuss how hard it was for her to accept any help or positive feelings from other people in the past and how that attitude is changing now.

Client: “I feel… that you need to do it yourself, but somehow you should be able to do it with other people. (She notes that there are «countless» times she could accept other people’s warmth and kindness for her.) I get the feeling that I was just afraid that in the end I would end up with nothing. (She again talks about the counseling itself and her feelings about it.) I want to say that this was exactly my breakthrough through it. Almost to… I mean, I felt it… I mean, I tried to put it into words on occasion… sort of… at times almost didn’t want you to repeat, for you to reflect, this is mine. Of course, rightly so, I can say that this is counteraction. But it doesn’t mean a damn thing to me right now… I think in… in relation to this special, I mean, uh… probably the strongest feeling at times was: it’s mine, it’s mine. I have to express it myself. Do you understand?

Therapist: “This experience is very difficult to put into words, but I feel a difference here in this relationship, that from feeling “this is mine”, “I have to do this”, “I do this”, etc. you move on to some other feeling — «I can let you in.»

Client: «Yeah. Now. I mean, what… what is this… well, how to say, volume two. It’s… it’s… well, sort of, well, I’m still alone in this, but I don’t… you see… I…”

Therapist: «Mr. This paradox sort of sums it up, doesn’t it?»

To the client: «Aga».

Therapist: “There is a feeling in all this, it is still … “every side of my experience is mine,” and this is, as it were, inevitable, necessary, and the like. And yet, this is not the whole picture. Somehow it can be shared with someone, or another person can take an interest in it, and in some way the feeling changes.»

Client: «Yeah. And it’s—it’s like it should be. I mean, it’s kind of… it should be. There is… there is a feeling that «this is good.» I mean, it expresses, clarifies it for me. There’s a sense in this good attitude that… you sort of stepped back, stood in the distance, and if I want to kind of f.e. my way to that… it’s… cutting… high algae, what can I do, and you can … I mean, you’re not going to get annoyed if you have to go through this as well. I don’t know. And it’s pointless. I mean…»

Therapist: «Besides, you really feel the rightness of this feeling of yours, don’t you?»

Client: «Yes».

Does this passage not express the essence of the process of socialization? To discover that by accepting the positive feelings of the other, you will not end up with nothing at all, that this acceptance will not necessarily end in getting hurt, that it really is a “good feeling” when the other person participates in your efforts to meet life — all this can be one of the most profound knowledge gained by an individual in psychotherapy or outside it.

The novelty, the non-verbal level of this experience, comes to light in the closing moments of this thirtieth conversation with Mrs. Oak.

Client: “I’m experiencing a new kind, perhaps the only worthwhile kind of knowledge, uh… I know… I’ve often said that what I know doesn’t help me here. I meant that the knowledge I have does not help me. But it seems to me that the training here was so active, I mean, it was so included in … in all … I want to say, in all of me, that even if it is only me and remains of everything, this is something that I I want to say… I doubt if I will ever be able to put in order, how to make acquired knowledge what I experienced here.

Therapist: “In other words, the learning that took place here is, as it were, completely different, it is different in depth, this is a very significant, very real learning. It’s certainly valuable in itself, but you ask yourself, «Will I ever have a clear mental picture of what happened at this deeper level of learning?»

Client: «Uh-huh. Something like that».

Those who would apply to psychotherapy the so-called «laws of learning» derived from the memorization of meaningless syllables would benefit from a careful study of this passage. The training that takes place in psychotherapy is a general, organismic, often non-verbal process that may or may not follow the same principles as purely intellectual training in ordinary material of little significance to the individual. However, I digress from the topic.

Let’s end this part by rephrasing its main points. It seems likely that one of the characteristics of deep or meaningful psychotherapy is that the client discovers that nothing bad will happen if he admits into his inner experience the positive feelings that another person, the therapist, feels towards him. Perhaps one of the reasons why this is so difficult to do is that it requires feeling, «I am worthy to be loved.»

This issue will be dealt with later. Now it can be pointed out that this aspect of psychotherapy consists in the full and free experience of a benevolent attitude, which can be summarized as follows: “I can allow another to treat me positively and I myself can fully accept such an attitude. This allows me to realize that I have a deep interest in others and that I care about them.”

Positive attitude towards yourself

In various articles and studies concerning the problems of client-centered psychotherapy, self-acceptance has been highlighted as one of the directions and results of psychotherapy. We have proved the fact that in the case of successful psychotherapy, the negative attitude towards oneself is weakened, and the positive one increases. We measured incremental increases in self-acceptance and found correlated increases in acceptance of others. However, in examining this claim and comparing it with data from our recent clients, I feel that it is not entirely true. The client not only accepts himself (this phrase can also mean dissatisfied, reluctant acceptance of something inevitable), but also begins to like himself. This is not narcissism combined with bragging and not narcissism with a pretension, this is rather calm self-satisfaction from the fact that you are you.

This quality is very evident in Mrs. Oak’s thirty-third interview. Isn’t it significant that this conversation took place ten days after she first admitted to herself that the therapist was nice to her? Whatever our reasoning about it, the passage makes very clear this quiet joy of being yourself, as well as the vague embarrassment that, in our culture, must necessarily accompany this joy. In the last minutes of the interview, knowing that her time is running out, she says:

“One thing worries me… and I’m amazed because I can always return to this… feeling that I can’t get rid of. It’s a feeling of self-satisfaction. And also — Q-test

This phrase needs an explanation. The study included the presentation of a large number of cards, which during the psychotherapy session the client had to sort. On each card was written a statement describing some personal quality. In one direction, it was necessary to put aside a card or several cards that most accurately characterize the client, in the other — cards with characteristics that were not at all inherent in him. Thus, when a woman says that she was the first to put down a card with the statement “I am an attractive person”, this means that she considers this quality to be the most characteristic of her.

One day I walked out of here and impulsively took the first card «I am an attractive person.» Thinking about what I had written, I was horrified, but did not put it back. I mean, that’s exactly how I felt… it bothered me, which is why I now remembered this incident. I can’t say that it was an unpleasant feeling, nothing arrogant, but just… I don’t know how pleasant. Nice feeling. And that worried me. And yet… I doubt… I rarely remember what I’m saying here, I want to say that now I’m at a loss as to why I was convinced that I experienced this. It seems to me that my feelings were akin to those that I experience when I hear that a child is told: «Don’t cry.» I always felt it was unfair. I mean, if he is in pain, let him cry. Well, now I’m pleased … Recently, I began to feel it … there is something almost similar in this. I mean… it’s… we don’t mind when kids are happy with themselves. I want to say that there is nothing conceited about it. Maybe that’s how people should feel.»

Therapist: “You tended to look at yourself almost with suspicion because of this feeling. However, constant thoughts about him, perhaps, are two sides of the same coin? First, if a child wants to cry, why shouldn’t he? And if he wants to be pleased with himself, why shouldn’t he feel it? And it kind of connects with you, with what I understand as the high self-esteem that you give yourself.

Client: «Yes, yes.»

Therapist: “Are you sure that he is indeed a very rich and interesting person inwardly?”

Client: “Yes, something like that. And then I say to myself: «Our society is overwriting us, and we have lost it.» And again I return to my feeling connected with children. Perhaps they are richer than us. Maybe it’s something we’ve lost as we’ve grown up.»

Therapist: «Maybe they have wisdom that we’ve lost.»

Client: «Right. My time has come to an end.»

Here, like many other clients, she comes to the tentative realization with apologies that she has begun to appreciate herself, to like herself. There seems to be a feeling of spontaneous free pleasure, a primitive joie de vivre («joy of life»), like that experienced by a lamb grazing in a meadow, or a dolphin frolicking in the water. Mrs. Oak feels that this is something natural to the baby’s body, something that has been lost in the developmental process that deforms us.

The impetus for the appearance of this feeling in the client was one incident, which Mrs. Oak embarrassingly recounts in the ninth conversation. She had never told anyone about him before. Perhaps it is this incident that clarifies the fundamental nature of her feelings. Mrs. Oak made a long pause before telling the story (obviously, it was difficult for her to part with her secret).

Client: “You know, it’s kind of stupid, but I never told anyone about this (laughs nervously), and it will probably do me good. Many years ago, in my youth, probably at the age of seventeen, I discovered that I had what I began to call «glimpses of the mind.» I never told anyone about this (laughs embarrassedly again) … which really I saw this mind. I was quite conscious of life, and always with terrible regret, with sadness about how far we had gone from the right path. But I experienced this feeling quite rarely, only when I felt like a whole person in this terribly vain world.

Therapist: “It flickered, it was not often, but at times it seemed that in this, undoubtedly, extremely vain world, you act and feel with all its fullness, like a whole being …”

Client: «Right. And I want to say that I really felt how far we had gone from a healthy whole person. Of course they don’t say that.»

Therapist: «You feel like it’s not entirely safe to talk about you singing…»

Client: “Where does such a person live?”

Therapist: “Almost as if such a person had nowhere to live, to exist…”

Client: “Of course you know what makes me… wait a minute… that probably explains why I’m mostly talking about feelings here. That’s probably why…”

Therapist: “Because you, as a real whole, exist with your feelings. Are you more conscious of your feelings now, aren’t you?

Client: «That’s right. It doesn’t… my whole doesn’t reject feelings, and… well…”

Therapist: «This whole «you» somehow lives with its feelings instead of pushing them away.»

Client: «That’s right. (Pause) I think, to be practical, one could say that what I should be doing is solving problems, day-to-day problems. And yet, I, I… what I’m trying to do is solve something bigger and much, much more important than the little everyday problems. Maybe that’s the end of it all.»

Therapist: “I would like to know if the point of what you were talking about is that you should think more about specific problems. But you want to know if it can happen that in doing so you stop looking for yourself as a whole, and this is perhaps more important than solving immediate problems.

Client: “I think so. Yes, I think so. That’s probably what I wanted to say.»

If we correctly compare these two kinds of experience, and if we do not mistake them for being typical, then we can say that both during psychotherapy and in some fleeting experiences earlier, this woman felt a useful, pleasantly satisfying high appreciation of herself as a fully functioning human being; and that such an experience arose when she did not reject her feelings, but lived by them.

Here, it seems to me, lies an important and often overlooked truth about the psychotherapeutic process. It manifests itself when a person is allowed to fully consciously experience all his reactions, including feelings and emotions. When this happens, the individual feels that he likes himself, he sincerely appreciates himself as a whole functioning being, which is one of the important final goals of psychotherapy.

Discovery of the positive essence of the human personality

One of the most revolutionary concepts emerging from our clinical experience is connected with the ever more complete realization that the deepest core of human nature, the deepest level of his personality, the foundation of his «animal nature» is inherently positive, that in essence a person is a socialized , an ever-growing, rational and realistic being.

I don’t think that such a point of view on a person will be accepted, it is so alien to our current culture ↑ (We are talking about American culture in the first half of the 1949th century — Approx. ed.); and it turns our ideas around in such a way that it really should not be accepted without being subjected to a comprehensive study. But even if she survived these tests, it would still not be easy to accept her. Religion, especially the Protestant tradition of Christianity, has brought into our culture the idea of ​​the sinful nature of man, which only a miracle can crush. In the field of psychology, Freud and his followers presented convincing arguments that the id (Id, or «it», — according to Freud, one of the three instances of the mental apparatus, Which is the focus of aggressive and sexual drives (the other two instances are «I» and «Super-I»). — Approx. ed.), the fundamental unconscious nature of man is mainly instincts, which, if given free rein, would lead to incest, murder and other crimes. The task of any psychotherapy, from the point of view of representatives of this school, is to reasonably and without harm to health keep these wild forces in check, not allowing them to turn people into neurotics. But the fact that a person is irrational at heart, not socialized, destructive in relation to others and to himself — this idea is accepted as almost universally as an undoubted fact. Of course, sometimes there are voices of protest. Maslow puts forward a strong case for the animal nature of man, pointing out that antisocial emotions — hostility, jealousy, etc. — due to the frustration of basic needs for love, security and belonging, which are themselves positive ↑ (Maslow, AH Our maligned animal nature. Jour. of Psychol, 28, 273, 278-1950.). Similarly, Montagu (Montagu, A. On Being Human. New York: Henry Schuman, Inc., XNUMX.) puts forward the thesis that the basic law of human life is cooperation, not struggle. But these lonely voices are almost inaudible. In general, the point of view of both professionals and non-professionals is that a person, as he is by nature, should be kept under control, or under a cap, or under both at the same time.

When I look back over my years of clinical practice and research work, it seems to me that I have been too slow to recognize the falsity of such ideas about a person. The reason seems to be that in the course of psychotherapy, the hostile and antisocial feelings of the client are again and again exposed; it is not difficult to assume that it is these feelings that reveal to us the deep and therefore fundamental nature of man. Only with time does it become obvious that these feelings are far from being the deepest and strongest, and that the inner core of a person’s personality is an organism as such, an organism that is essentially both social and self-preserving.

To give accuracy to this evidence, let me turn again to Mrs. Oak’s psychotherapy. Because of the importance of this issue, I will quote, without omitting details, passages from her minutes to illustrate the type of experience on which I have based the previous statements. Perhaps these passages will show how layer by layer her personality is revealed, and this will lead us to the most profound components of the latter.

So, in the eighth conversation, Mrs. Oak removes the first layer of psychological protection and reveals bitterness and a desire for revenge under it.

Client: “You know, there, in this area of ​​sexual dysfunction, I get the feeling that I’m starting to understand that this is bad, very bad. I find myself bitter, really fucking bitter… and I don’t turn it on at all… on myself… I think, I probably feel something like, «I was tricked.» (Her voice breaks, she “chokes” on the words.) I hid it very well, to the point that I am consciously indifferent to it. But I’m as if amazed that in this act, how to call it … some kind of sublimation (Sublimation is one of the mechanisms of psychological defense in the psychoanalysis of Z. Freud, relieving tension in a conflict situation by transforming the instinctive forms of the psyche into more acceptable for the individual and society. — Ed.) under it … again … there is … some kind of passive force, very passive, but at the same time it is very deadly.

Therapist: «So there’s a feeling of ‘I really got scammed.’ I’ve covered it up and I don’t seem to pay attention to it, but there’s a kind of hidden but very real bitterness inside that’s very, very strong.»

Client: “She is very strong. I… I know that. She is very strong.»

Therapist: «Almost an irresistible force.»

Client: “Which I rarely realize. Almost never… well, the only way I can describe it is like a killer thing, but without violence… It’s more like a feeling of wanting to get even… And of course, I won’t hit back, but I would like to. Indeed, I would like to.»

Up to this point, conventional explanations are very suitable. Mrs. Oak has been able to see beyond the socially manipulated surface of her behavior and finds beneath it a murderous sense of hatred and a desire for revenge. This is the case in the beginning, until later sessions of psychotherapy. She brings up this topic in the thirty-first discourse. She has difficulty speaking, feels emotionally blocked, and cannot understand the feeling that is boiling up in her.

Client: “I have a feeling this is not my fault. (Pause. She cries.) Of course I want to say, I can’t express it yet. (Then on a wave of emotion.) It just feels like I’m in terrible pain!”

Therapist: «Yes. It’s not guilt; it seems that you are very hurt by something.

Client (crying): It’s… you know, I often blamed myself for this, but in recent years, when I heard parents tell their children to «stop crying», I was overcome by a feeling of pain — well, why should they order them to stop crying ? Children feel sorry for themselves, and who can more truly feel sorry for themselves than a child. Well, that’s… I mean, I don’t think they should be allowed to cry. And… feel sorry for them, probably also. Pretty objectively. Well, it’s… it’s something that I’ve been experiencing. I mean, now… just now. And… in… in…”

Therapist: «This internally resembles that feeling, as if you were really crying for yourself right now.»

Client: «Yes. And again, you see, the conflict. We have such a culture… I mean… you don’t allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself. But it’s not… I mean, I feel it doesn’t really matter that much. Maybe…»

Therapist: “You probably think our culture frowns on feeling sorry for yourself. And yet you feel that the feeling you are experiencing is also not exactly what our culture objects to.”

Client: “And then, of course, I came to… see and feel that above it… you see, I hid it. (Cries.) But I hid it with such great bitterness, which in turn I had to hide well. (Weeping) That’s what I want to get rid of! I almost don’t care if it hurts.»

Therapist (softly, with sympathetic tenderness for the pain she is experiencing): “You feel that tears of pity for yourself are at the heart of it. But you can’t show it, and you shouldn’t. Therefore, this feeling is hidden behind the bitterness that you do not like, that you want to get rid of. You almost feel like you’d rather take the pain than feel that bitterness. (Pause.) It seems to me that what you are now saying is nothing more than: “I am in pain, and I tried to hide it.”

Client: «I didn’t know that.»

Therapist: «Yes. It really is like a new discovery.”

Client (speaking at the same time as therapist): “I never knew that for sure. But it’s… you know, it almost feels like a physical thing. It’s… it’s like I was looking inside myself at all sorts of… nerve endings and other bits that were sort of crushed.» (Pause.)

Therapist: «It’s like some of your tender inner parts were almost physically crushed and damaged.»

Client: «Yes. And you know, I really have a feeling of «Oh, you poor thing!» (Pause.)

Therapist: «Yes, you can’t help but feel deep self-pity.»

Client: «I don’t think it’s a feeling of pity for the whole of me, it’s some part of me.»

Therapist: «I’m sorry you’re in pain.»

Client: «Yes».

Therapist: «Mm, mm.»

Client: “And then, of course, this damned bitterness that I want to get rid of. She… I’m going to get into trouble because of her. It’s because she’s unreliable, she’ll let me down.» (Pause.)

Therapist: «You feel this bitterness as something you want to get rid of because you don’t do it justice.»

Client (Crying; long pause): “I don’t know. I think I’m right in feeling that I’ll be fine with calling it guilt. See what would make an interesting case history, so to speak. What good would that do? It seems to me that … that the answer, the reality is precisely in the feeling that I have.

Therapist: “You could follow one or the other and you could do it properly. Do you feel that the essence of the whole problem seems to be in the experience that you are now experiencing?

Client: «That’s right. I want to say if…. I don’t know what will happen to this feeling. Maybe nothing. I don’t know, but it seems to me that whatever I understand will be part of this feeling of pain … It doesn’t really matter what you call it. (Pause.) Then… you can’t go… with the pain so open to everyone. I mean, it seems to me that some kind of treatment must be next.”

Therapist: “It seems that you probably could not open open yourself when something in you hurts so much. So you are wondering if this pain should not be cured somehow first.”

Client: “And yet, you know, it’s… it’s weird. (Pause.) This sounds like total nonsense, or like the old adage that the neurotic doesn’t want to let go of his symptoms. But this is not true. I mean, it’s not true in this case, but it’s… I can only hope it conveys my thoughts. I don’t mind being hurt. I mean, it just occurred to me that I don’t really mind. This… I am much more against… the feeling of bitterness, which, I know, is the cause of this frustration . — Approx. ed.). I want to say … I’m somehow more against it.

Therapist: Can I say that? Although you do not like this pain, you feel that you can accept it. It can be taken out. However, what covers this pain, such as bitterness, is exactly what you … cannot bear at the moment.

Client: «Yes. Exactly this. It’s like… well, first, I mean, like it’s… well, it’s something that I can handle. Right now it’s feeling, well, you see, I can still have an awful lot of joy. But it’s different, I mean, this frustration… I mean, it manifests itself in so many different ways, I’m starting to understand it now, you see. I mean, just like that, like that.»

Therapist: “And you can accept the pain. It is as much a part of life as many other parts of it. You can have a lot of joy. But you don’t like that the whole life can be destroyed by frustration and bitterness, you don’t want that, and now you are aware of it.

Client: «Yeah. And now somehow you can’t dodge it. You know, now I understand it more. (Pause.) I don’t know. Right now I don’t know what to do next. I really do not know. (Pause.) Luckily, it’s kind of a development, so it… doesn’t jump too abruptly into… I mean, I… what I’m trying to say. I think I am still fulfilling my purpose. I still enjoy and…”

Therapist: «You kind of want to tell me that in various ways you still continue to live the way you have always lived.»

Client: «This is it. (Pause.) Oh, I think I should finish and go.

In this stretched passage, you get a clear picture of the fact that underneath the bitterness, hatred, and desire for revenge on the world that deceived her, there is a much less anti-social feeling, a deeper feeling that she was hurt. It is also clear that at this deep level she has no desire to translate these hostile feelings into some kind of action. She doesn’t like them and would like to get rid of them.

The following passage is taken from the thirty-fourth discourse. It is very incoherent, as is often the case when a person is trying to express something deeply emotional. In it, she tries to penetrate into the depths of herself. She claims that it is very difficult for her to put it into words.

Client: “I don’t know if I can talk about it or not. You can try. Something… I mean, it’s a feeling… that… a kind of urgency to really get out. I know it sounds pointless. I think, probably, if I can get it out and hold it in a little… well, in a little more conventional way, so that it’s something that’s more useful to me. And I don’t know how… I mean, it seems like I want to say, I want to talk about myself. And this, of course, as I understand it, is what I have been doing all this time. But no, it’s… it’s me. More recently, I began to realize that I deny some statements, because for me they sounded … No, this is not exactly what I mean. I mean, somewhat idealized. And I mean, I can remember how I always said that this is more selfish than that, or more selfish than that. Until… it kind of comes to my mind, it hits me… yeah, that’s exactly what I mean. But by selfishness, I mean something completely different. I used the word «selfish». And then I got this feeling… I… never talked about it, about being selfish… which doesn’t mean anything. Uh-uh, I’m still going to talk about it. It’s like a pulse. And this “something” you realize all the time. And it’s still there. And I’d like to be able to use it, just like… sort of going down there. You know, it’s like… I don’t know, ugh! I sort of bought something and got acquainted with its structure. Almost as if I recognized him brick by brick. It’s some kind of knowledge. What I mean to say is… that feeling of not being deceived, but being pulled into it, and a much-needed sense of discernment. But in a way…the cause is hidden and…cannot be part of everyday life. And there’s something… sometimes I feel almost terrible about it, and sometimes I don’t. And why not? I think I know. And this… this also explains it to me personally. It’s… it’s something that doesn’t have any hate at all. I mean, absolutely. Not with love, but without hate at all. But it’s… it’s also exhilarating… I think maybe I’m the kind of person who loves, I mean, probably even likes torturing himself or exploring something inside to try to find the whole. And I said to myself: “Look, now you have a pretty strong feeling. It is not permanent. But sometimes you feel it, and when you allow yourself to feel it, you feel it yourself.” You know, there are names for this kind of thing that one would find in psychopathology. Maybe almost like the feeling that sometimes applies to what you’ve read about. I mean, there are some elements, I mean this pulsation, this excitement, this insight. And I said, I traced one thing, I mean, I was very, very brave, which is like, let’s say… sublimated sex drive. And I thought, well, that’s where I got the point. I actually solved the problem. And there’s nothing else there. And for a while, I mean, I was quite content with myself. It was like that. And then I had to admit that it wasn’t. Because I had this “something” long before the frustration over sex. I mean, it wasn’t… but that thing then I started to understand a little bit. At this very core, there is an acceptance of sexuality, I mean, the only thing I thought would be possible. It was in it. It’s not something that was… I mean, the sexual feeling wasn’t sublimated or replaced at all. No. Inside it, inside what I know there… I want to say, it is, of course, completely different sexual feelings. I mean, it is devoid of everything that is in sex, if you know what I’m talking about. There is no stalking, no chasing, no fighting, no…well, some kind of hatred that I think has infiltrated that kind of feeling.

Therapist: «I want to see if I can ‘catch’ what this means to you. It is the case that when you have come to know yourself very deeply through the study of experience, brick by brick, in that sense you have become more selfish, and this concept really … means the discovery of what is your essence, different from all other parts of you. You come to a very deep and rather disturbing realization that not only does the core of your «I» contain no hatred, but in fact it is more like a saint, something really very pure — that’s the word I would use. And that you can try to belittle it. You can say that perhaps it is sublimation, some kind of anomalous manifestation, madness, etc. But deep down you know it’s not. It contains a feeling that could have a rich sexual expression, but it is larger and indeed deeper than the sexual feeling. And, however, it is capable of including everything that is included in the expression of sexual feelings.

Client: “Maybe something like that. It’s kind of… I mean, it’s kind of a descent. Somewhere deep inside me, down. You probably think it’s supposed to be going up, but no, it’s… I’m sure of it, it’s sort of going down.»

Therapist: «This is a descent down and almost complete immersion in yourself.»

Client: «Yeah. And I—I can’t just drop it. I mean, it just seems to me … it really exists. I mean, I think it’s terribly important what I just had to say.»

Therapist: “I would also like to repeat one thought to see if I understand it. It seems that this thought that you are expressing is something that you must have been going to catch, something that has not yet been caught. Although the feeling of going down in order to grab something in the very depths of oneself really took place.

Client: «Yes. It’s really… there’s something in that… I mean, it’s… I have a way, and of course we’ll have to deal with it sometime, this almost violent rejection of something righteous, rejection of an ideal, it’s… how… to express it…, I mean, it’s like what I mean. Doing things I don’t know. I mean, I just have a feeling. I can’t follow. I mean, it’s pretty thin stuff when you start taking it apart. It’s gone… I wonder why… it has a terribly clear sense of descent.»

Therapist: “This is not an ascent to some illusory ideal, this is a descent onto the surprisingly solid ground of reality, this is …”

To the client: «Aga».

Therapist: «Really more amazing than…»

Client: «Yeah. I want to say that this is something that cannot be destroyed. It’s there… I don’t know… I think after you’ve summed it all up… It remains…”

Since all of this is so disjointed, it may be worth deriving from what Mrs. Oak has said a number of the main points she is trying to convey to the therapist.

I’m going to talk about myself as selfish, but in a new sense of the word.

I got acquainted with the structure of my “I”, I know myself deeply.

As I descend into myself, I discover something exciting, a core that has no hate at all.

It cannot be part of everyday life; perhaps even something abnormal.

At first, I thought that it was a sublimated sex drive.

But no, it contains more, it is deeper than sexual feeling.

It is assumed that this kind of feeling can be found if one ascends into the fragile realm of ideals.

But in fact, I found it by going deep inside myself.

It seems that this is a reality that does not disappear, exists independently of my consciousness.

Is it describing a mystical experience? Judging by the nature of the consultant’s answers, he seems to think so. Is it possible to give meaning to statements in the style of Gertrude Stein? (Gertrude Stein (1874-1946) — American writer, representative of the formal experimental prose of «stream of consciousness» literature. — Approx. ed.). To such a question, the author would simply reply that many clients have come to some sort of conclusion, although not always expressed so emotionally. Even Mrs. Oak, in the next, thirty-fifth conversation, gives a clearer and more precise description of her feelings, more acceptable to us. She also explains why the experience was difficult for her.

Client: “I think I’m terribly glad that I spoke, or forced myself, or wanted to talk about myself. I mean, it’s very personal, internal, they just don’t talk about it. I mean, now I can understand my feeling that they just don’t talk about … probably a little apprehension. It’s, you see… well, kind of like I was just denying, I mean, everything Western civilization is based on. And I wanted to know if I was right, I mean, was it the right way, and also, of course, felt like it was right, you know. And so there must be conflict. And then this… I mean, now I feel good, well, of course, that’s how I feel. I want to say that this is what I kind of call the absence of hatred, I mean, it exists. It comes into what I do, what I believe in… I think it’s good. It’s like… I’m probably saying to myself, well, you’re fooling me, I mean, first with a kind of prejudice and taboos and misinterpreted theories and laws and your science and your refrigerators and your atomic bombs. But I don’t accept it, you understand, you just didn’t succeed. I think I’m saying exactly what I mean, well, I don’t fit in, and that’s, well, that’s the way it is.»

Therapist: “At the moment you feel very aware of all kinds of cultural pressures… not always, but “it has been so common in my life… that now I have to look much deeper into myself to find out how I really feel” and at the moment it seems like it sort of separates you from the culture and it scares you a little, but overall you feel good. This is…»

Client: «Yeah. Well, now I feel like I’m really on top. Then there is something else — a feeling that starts to grow, well, almost formed, as I say. Some kind of conclusion that I will no longer look for something terribly bad. Now I don’t know why. But I mean, just… it’s just that kind of feeling. I’m kind of saying to myself now, well, given what I know, what I’ve found, I’m pretty sure I’ve got rid of my fear, and I’m sure I’m not afraid of something scary… I want to to say, I would kind of welcome it. But… taking into account the places I’ve been, what I’ve learned there, and then, kind of, well, taking into account what I don’t know, something like, maybe it’s something that I shouldn’t use. , and let’s say, well, right now I’m just… I just can’t detect it. Do you understand? And now, without some… without… I would say some sense of apology and pretense, there is just some simple statement that I currently cannot find what is wrong with me.

Therapist: “Did I get the gist of what you said? That as you go deeper and deeper into yourself, and as you think about what you have discovered and understood, etc., there grows a very, very strong belief that no matter how deep you go into yourself, what you find is not at all scary or terrible. It has a completely different quality.»

Client: «Yeah, something like that.»

In this case, when she realizes that her experience is at odds with the culture, she feels compelled to say that her core self is not bad, not terribly sinful, but something positive. Under the layer of superficial controlled behavior, under bitterness, under pain, there is a positive «I», in which there is no hatred at all. This is a lesson that our clients have taught us for a long time and which we have learned too slowly.

If the absence of hatred seems to be a neutral or negative concept, perhaps we should let Mrs. Oak clarify its meaning. In the 39th conversation, feeling that the time for psychotherapy is coming to an end, she returns to this topic.

Client: “I wonder if I should explain… it’s clear to me, and maybe that’s the only thing that matters here, my strong feeling about treating a person without hatred. Now that we’re discussing it rationally, I know it doesn’t feel right. And yet, in my thoughts, my… not really in my thoughts, but in my feelings it is… and in my thoughts, yes, and in my thoughts too… it is much more positive than… than love… and it seems to me easier, less restrictive . But this… I realize that this must sound and seem almost like a total denial of so many, so many beliefs, and perhaps it is. I don’t know. But it seems more positive to me.»

Therapist: “You understand that this might sound like a denial to some, but as far as the meaning of this experience for you, it does not seem to you as restrictive, as possessive as love. It seems that this expression is indeed more … wider, more usable than … »

To the client: «Aga».

Therapist: «…any of those narrower words.»

Client: “Indeed, for me it is. This is easier. Well, it’s easier for me to feel that way anyway. And I don’t know. It seems to me that this is really the way out of … no … To find yourself in a place where you are not forced to reward or punish. It… it means so much. It just seems to me that it promotes, as it were, freedom.

Therapist: «Mr. Mmm. It seems to you that where you get rid of the need to reward or punish, there is precisely more freedom for everyone.

Client: «Right. (Pause.) I’m ready for a few breakdowns along the way.

Therapist: «You don’t expect it to be a calm swim.»

Client: «No.»

This part of the story, greatly abridged, conveys the client’s discovery that the deeper she looked into herself, the less she needed to fear; instead of finding something very bad in herself, she gradually opened the core of her «I», which does not want to reward or punish others; «I» without hatred, «I», deeply socialized. Shall we dare, on the basis of this kind of experience, to generalize that, breaking through deep into our organismic nature, we will find that man is by nature good, positive, and a social animal? This is an assumption based on our clinical experience.

Be your body, be your experience

The main idea that runs through much of the material previously presented in this chapter is that psychotherapy (at least client-centered psychotherapy) is a process in which a person becomes his organism — without self-deception, without distortion. What does it mean?

We are talking here about what takes place at the level of experience — a phenomenon that is not easy to put into words, and if we try to understand it only at the verbal level, it is already distorted by this very fact. Perhaps, using a number of descriptive language, the reader can feel at least a faint experiential echo of what was said and say: “Well, now I understand, based on my own experience, something of what you are talking about!”

It seems that psychotherapy goes back to the basic sensory and visceral experience. Before psychotherapy, a person tends to often involuntarily ask himself the following question: “What do others think I should do in this situation? What would my parents and culture want me to do? What should I do?» Thus, he constantly acts on the basis of patterns, in accordance with which he must bring his behavior. This does not necessarily mean that he always has to agree with the opinions of others. He may, of course, try to act contrary to other people’s expectations. However, even in this case, he acts on the basis of the expectations of other people (real or represented in his internal picture of the world). During psychotherapy, the individual begins to ask himself questions in relation to ever-expanding areas of life: “How do I feel this? What does this mean for me? He begins to act on the basis of what can be called realism — a realistic balancing between satisfaction and dissatisfaction, delivered to him from each action.

Perhaps it will help those who, like myself, to think in precise clinical terms, if I express some of these thoughts in the form of schematic representations of the process that various clients go through. For one client, this may mean, «I thought I was supposed to feel only love for my parents, but I found myself experiencing both love and bitter resentment.» For another: “I thought I was a bad, unworthy person and nothing more. Now I sometimes feel like a very worthy person, and sometimes not very worthy and useless. Perhaps I am a person who can feel worthy in varying degrees. For the third: “I had the idea that no one could really love me on my own. Now I feel the warmth of another person’s feelings for me. Perhaps I can be the one that others love, perhaps I am such a person. For one more: “I was brought up to feel that I shouldn’t value myself, but I do. I can cry over myself, but I can also really like myself. Perhaps I am an inner rich person who I can like and feel sorry for. Or take the last example from a conversation with Mrs. Oak, who thought that somewhere deep down she was a bad person, that her deepest qualities must be terrible and terrible; but she did not feel this bad, but rather a positive desire to live and let live, and that perhaps she could be the kind of person who is positive at heart.

What makes it possible for the second phrase to appear in the statements of these clients? Adding awareness. In the course of psychotherapy, a person adds to his usual sensations a full and undistorted awareness of the sensory and visceral reactions he experiences. He does not allow or at least reduces the distortion of experiences when he is aware of them. He can be aware of what he is actually experiencing, and not just what he allows himself to feel after careful sifting through a conceptual filter. In this sense, for the first time, a person acquires all the potentialities of the human body, enriched with awareness of the main manifestations of sensory and visceral reactions. A person begins to be who he is, as clients often say during psychotherapy. This probably means that the individual becomes aware of himself as he is in his experience. In other words, he becomes a perfect, fully functioning human organism.

I can already feel the reaction of some of my readers: “Are you saying that as a result of psychotherapy, a person becomes nothing more than a human organism, an animal with a human face? And who will control it? Will he then release all his brakes? Have you unleashed a beast called id? The most appropriate answer to this, I think, would be the following. During psychotherapy, the individual really becomes a human organism with all the richness implied in this concept. He can realistically control himself, and his desires are unmistakably socialized. It has no animal. In man there is only man, and we were able to free him.

Therefore, it seems to me that the main discovery of psychotherapy, if our observations are correct, is that we do not need to be afraid of being only “homo sapiens”. The discovery is that if we can add to the sensory and visceral experience that the entire animal kingdom has, the gift of free, undistorted awareness, which in its entirety is unique to humans, we will have a beautiful, constructive, inscribed in reality organism. In this case, we will have an organism conscious both of the requirements of culture and of its own physiological needs for food or sex, conscious of both its desire for friendship and the desire to exalt itself, conscious of both its subtle and sensitive tenderness towards others, and hostility towards them. When this unique ability of man — consciousness — functions so fully and freely, we find that we are not dealing with an animal to be controlled, not a beast to be feared, but with an organism that arises from all these components of consciousness, capable of using the amazing integrative properties of the nervous system to achieve balanced, realistic behavior leading to the enrichment of his personality and the personality of other people. In other words, when a person is incomplete, that is, when he does not allow various types of his experiences into consciousness, in this case, of course, we often have reason to fear him and his behavior, as the current situation in the world clearly shows. But when a person is fully functioning, when he is a perfect organism, when the awareness of experience — this is a purely human property — is fully involved — then a person can be trusted, then his behavior is constructive. It will not always be generally accepted. It will not always be conformal (Conformity is the tendency to adapt one’s behavior to the opinion of other persons, the majority, — Approx. ed.). It will be individual. But it will also be socialized.

Final note

I have summarized the preceding section in as sharp a manner as I could, because it reflects deep convictions that have been drawn from many years of experience. However, I am well aware of the difference between belief and truth. I do not ask anyone to agree with my experience, I only ask the reader to consider whether the formulations given here are consistent with his own experience.

Nor do I apologize for the speculative nature of this article. There are times when speculative assertions are required, and there are times when careful verification of the evidence is required. We hope that gradually some of these assumptions, opinions and clinical premonitions may be subjected to effective and final testing.