Margarita Zhamkochyan read for us a book by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish “How to talk so that children will listen and how to listen so children will talk.”
“Our children will someday have to live without us. Therefore, I so want to help them grow independent and independent. The task is doubly difficult, since we ourselves are for the most part dependent and not self-sufficient. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have written a unique book in which they talk about how to raise a child free if you yourself are not free.
This book could have come out with us back in the 90s, but it didn’t work out – perhaps right now the time has come for her, when more and more adults are concerned about the quality of communication with their own children.
The authors of the bestseller – both mothers of many children – for several years in a row, together with other women, participated in the work of the parent seminar of the outstanding American child psychologist Haim Ginott, the author of the theory of the free development of the child’s personality. Through these weekly trainings and discussions, they discovered the essence of a non-directive approach to communicating with a child. And they wrote one of the most effective books in the world about communicating with children of different ages.
Children are really still too inexperienced and depend on us. This is where the crux of the problem lies. When one person depends on another, a special kind of feeling arises. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish believe that with the help of special communication we will be able to involve the child in cooperation, in co-creation with us and stop constantly and senselessly fighting with him. You just need to change the language of communication! The book tells us how to stop judging children and avoid judgments like “stupid”, “beautiful” or “bad” because they limit the development of the child. Instead, we should use words that communicate what we see, what we feel when we communicate with the child. The book teaches to recognize his feelings (by listening carefully to him, we can understand and name them), as a result of which he develops a sense of self-worth. The book will be especially appreciated by women who have achieved what they wanted in life – success, well-being, but feel guilty towards their children for not being able to devote much time to them.
A. Faber, E. Mazlish “How to talk so that children listen, and how to listen so that children speak”, Eksmo
About the authors of the book
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish – American writers, authors of best-selling books about parenting. This book (How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk), first published in America in 1980, has gone through more than 20 editions in the US alone.