We come up with tens of thousands of ideas every day. Moreover, most of them are repetitive, so both the solutions and the results are the same. But if you change your thoughts, you can change your life. What exactly do you need to think and how to learn it?
A person can look stylish, smile, but at the same time think about himself: “I am a loser”, “What I do, no one needs”, “My statements sound stupid”, “I look terrible”, “I can’t do anything “,” I am not able to do it.
Constant self-criticism increases anxiety, insecurity and guilt. A person ceases to adequately assess reality, makes wrong decisions, he develops a fear of the future. And then he misses opportunities and chances. Anxiety builds and the negative self-talk continues.
So we get into a vicious circle, which is very difficult to break. As a result, stress accumulates, health deteriorates, relationships fall apart, and income levels decrease.
Change your mind, change your life
It is possible to understand for a long time the reasons for the origin of negative thoughts and scenarios of behavior, and this is good and right. But in parallel with this work, we are able, through effective exercises, to reprogram our brain, build new habits into our lives and improve memory function.
The brain has such a property as neuroplasticity – this is the ability of the nervous system to change throughout life. When we think about something over and over again, neural connections form in the brain.
Negative thinking is a real bad habit. It takes desire, effort and time to break old neural connections and create new ones. But it is possible at any age. We become new people when we start thinking in new ways.
How can you change your thoughts on your own?
1. Reduce the amount of information consumed
Try to reduce the amount of information that enters the brain every day. Give up for a while or minimize watching TV, social networks. Do not get carried away by the news and the “yellow press”. Walk more in nature, go in for sports.
2. Smile at yourself in the mirror
Look into the eyes of your reflection in the mirror every day for 3-5 minutes and smile. Speak out loud positive statements during this time, such as: “I love myself,” “I’m fine,” “I deserve all the best,” “I have all the necessary resources to achieve my goals.”
3. Keep a diary
- Transfer your negative thoughts and emotions to paper – without re-reading, without editing. Write down everything that is on your mind for 20 minutes. You will feel relieved.
- Then, in writing, analyze what is written: are these thoughts mine or someone else’s? Is it really true? How do I feel about these thoughts? Do I need them, or can I say goodbye to them? Who will I be without them?
- Write down what you would like to think instead – what thoughts and beliefs to have, what to believe.
Keeping a diary helps you focus on priorities and tune in to achieve the desired results. Every day in the morning, write down the state in which you would like to spend your day, and sum up the results in the evenings. As you analyze the past day, think about how you can make tomorrow better.
4. See the Good
Write down all the good things that happened during the day, and try to list at least 30 points. For example, delicious coffee, a pleasant conversation with a colleague, a compliment, a good mood, an interesting article you read, birdwatching in the park – everything that made you happy.
By noticing the beauty around us, we train the habit of focusing on the good and seeing it in people and situations.
5. Praise yourself
Describe yourself in the best possible way – your positive qualities, character traits, skills and abilities. What can you be commended for? What can you be proud of? Learn the resulting text and speak to yourself as often as possible. It boosts confidence and self-esteem. Others see us exactly as we think we are.
6. Farewell
Thinking about the events of the past takes a huge amount of energy that could be directed to creating a happy future.
Write a list of those you resent and try to forgive them all. It can be not only family members, close people, friends, past partners, but also statesmen, former classmates and teachers, pets, yourself and even your car.
Forgiveness helps heal the soul and body. You stop wasting energy on thinking about the problems of the past, and now you can focus on the present and the future.
7. Thank you
You can always find a reason to be grateful: for a wonderful day that is starting, for a supportive environment, for opportunities, for a roof over your head, for your favorite work. Gratitude is a sublime emotion, it leaves no room for negativity.
8. Practice Mindfulness
It is convenient to develop this skill using the “Stop” technique. Set 10-15 alarms on your phone for a random time. When one of them rings, ask yourself the questions: “What am I thinking about at this moment?”, “What emotions are I experiencing?” And if the answers don’t suit you, then consider, “What do I want to think and feel instead?”
9. Don’t worry
In 2006, author and motivational speaker Will Bowen developed the Peace Without Complaining practice that can clear our minds. Here is his technique: put a purple bracelet on your hand, and when you catch yourself discussing gossip, are unhappy with something, get angry and say nasty things about others or about yourself, move it to the other hand. The task is to carry the bracelet on one hand for 21 days.
Try to live three weeks without conflict, anger, whining, complaining, guilt, criticism, ridicule, self-doubt. During this time, your brain will get used to this way of thinking, and you will feel much better.
10. Take responsibility
What we have in our lives now, we have created with our thoughts, feelings, decisions and actions. If something doesn’t suit you, try changing it. You are not powerless, you create the reality around you. Let everything work out!
About the Developer
Natalya Lapshicheva is a psychologist, life coach and hypnotherapist, author of Plus or Minus Infinity: How to Realize Yourself with the Subconscious Mind. Her page at .