The Chalkboard Method is a variant of the Family Rules based on the well-known school theme of the Chalkboard and school grading system.
You can use a school board and chalk for writing, you can use a large sheet of drawing paper and felt-tip pens. All this should be hung in a prominent and accessible place, for example in the kitchen. Everything should be visual: at the top of the sheet of whatman paper there should be printed (or written) rules, the sheet itself should be divided into “good” and “bad” sides. Each child has their own sheet. Children, like in school, get good grades for good deeds and bad grades for bad ones. At the end of each week, the results are summed up and the children receive money for expenses.
What to rate
Bad marks can be put: for unleashing quarrels; for long disputes or offensive name-calling; for destructive actions; for deception, for influencing parents with shouting, resentment and other negative emotions; for negligence in assigned matters or violation of house rules. For specific phrases like “Why is he”, “And you yourself”, “Fool” and so on.
Good grades can be given, for example, for helping around the house, for being responsive to requests, for resolving a problem, for voluntary help, for creative ideas, for teaching yourself useful things, for friendly relations with parents, for bringing joy to others.
We should never punish a child for breaking rules that are not clearly defined; nor should we change the rules at our whim. So, whatever system of discipline you use, let the child know what you expect from him.
For the system to work
- Teach the children the rules. For example, one of the children reads them aloud every morning for a week so that they stay in their memory for a long time.
- Make the system attractive: make sure that children can use it to earn pocket money. Then this system draws in and causes less protest. If bad grades prevail over good ones, check yourself. Are the rules clear? Are you really looking for reasons to praise your child? If you don’t look for them, trust me, you will never find them. When your focus is on mistakes, you will find only mistakes. Think about how your child can get good grades, otherwise you will destroy the initiative for improvement.
- It is better if you do not write the grades for the children, but the children themselves.
- In case of violations, do not get angry, do not make noise, but simply say: «Give yourself a bad mark for this.» Don’t threaten, do it.
- Once the system is introduced, it is not discussed. In the beginning, children will test you for strength and try to resist. In this case, do not argue or make excuses — just point to the known rules. If you hear objections like “I won’t do this”, “I forgot” or “That’s not fair”, you can respond to all bickering with “Give yourself 2 bad grades”. Until the child completes your instructions, do not comment on their actions, but simply add another bad mark.
The rules can be changed about once a month, removing the irrelevant and setting new standards. Because children — will quickly grow wiser and develop!