Contents
Hello dear blog readers! Mobbing is one of the varieties of psychological violence that manifests itself at work. And today we will consider with you the reasons for its occurrence, as well as recommendations on how to maintain your peace of mind and, if possible, your workplace.
Causes
Despite the fact that the term comes from the English word mob, which means crowd, they are exposed to it both from the whole team, and only from the leader or just one colleague. The goal is usually simple — to get the chosen victim fired, but there are more subtle motives, such as obtaining satisfaction from the suffering of another person.
Let’s look at the most common reasons for mobbing, so:
1. Envy
Not all people are able to cope with their feelings, especially envy, and they are not always aware of it. Why are they trying to at least slightly spoil the life of a person who dared to be better in something, or is a happy owner of what he himself dreams of.
Here, for example, a young and beautiful girl comes, and even capable of joining a team where older women work who have difficulties in their personal lives. Do you think they will gladly accept the new one? It is unlikely, if only because she will constantly remind her appearance that they are no longer so good and young.
Why, quite expectedly, anger will arise, which will need to be somehow “allocated”, but daily stumbling upon these feelings is not entirely pleasant and desirable, therefore, the way out is bullying, both collective and on the part of only one person.
2. Competition
Everyone has a different level of ambition, but what if a person made a lot of efforts to achieve a higher position and salary, but then they suddenly put another, completely new person in such a desired place? Those who seek power by any means will look at nothing and will calmly clear their way, no matter what the cost.
So, if you accidentally turned out to be a hindrance, be sure that he will do everything, but he will achieve his goal. You don’t have to worry about your personality, that you weren’t loved for something specific, and so on, no, it’s just a cold-blooded calculation, you just happened to be at the wrong time and in the wrong place.
3. Dissatisfaction
As for the position, salary, and life in general. People with a low level of development sometimes try to «rise» at someone else’s expense, they do not know themselves, their character traits, capabilities and resources, so they try to achieve inner comfort and confidence with the help of humiliation of another person. Thus, they feel superiority, power, and this gives the illusion that they are worth something, that they are strong. Therefore, they choose as victims those who are unable to fight back.
This usually happens at school, when children are not yet fully developed and are not aware of why they rely on external factors, and not internal resources, offending the defenseless and weak. Unfortunately, some of them grow up, continuing to use the old methods.
4. Conflict
As a result of which there is a need for revenge, a desire to justify one’s name, if there were witnesses to this conflict, to return the disposition of colleagues, and so on.
5. Sadism
Although this is rare, it does happen. The psychology of maniacs is such that they completely lack humanity and the ability to empathize. It was about them that I spoke at the very beginning, submission and infliction of pain is a pleasure.
6. Personality
I think I will not surprise you with information that often the victim herself provokes aggression, both by behavior and personal characteristics. Maybe you know the famous “victim-rescuer-tyrant” triangle? So, each member of the triangle changes role, not being constantly in the same image.
So the victim, having felt unfair violence towards himself, then torments his offender, turning into a tyrant, after which he feels guilty and tries to make amends for it, falling into the role of a savior, which eventually provokes a new wave of aggression, becoming a victim again. And so on in a circle.
So, if a person appears in the team who is not able to defend himself and his positions, this really arouses the desire to check, but how much can he endure and when will he finally stop bullying?
7. Fear
With the advent of a new leader, there is a fear of change, especially if he really starts to introduce changes. And then people try to cling to the old regime, even if it was uncomfortable, but familiar and familiar, starting to use mobbing in relation to the new threat.
8. Authority
The authorities, having no skills and knowledge about organization and management, choose, as it seems to them, a win-win option — the terror of employees. Justifying his approach by the fact that it is better to be afraid of him than not to be respected, since children cannot be baptized with them, and he does not care what they think of him, as long as they meekly follow the instructions.
9. Boredom
Surprisingly, the monotony is so annoying that the team needs to diversify their everyday life. Coming up with methods of terror, discussing the reaction of the unfortunate with the rest causes feelings of excitement and excitement, which has a positive effect on the desire and interest to go to the office in the morning.
10. System
I mean that if some system exists for a long time, then it will not tolerate changes, ruthlessly destroying what is new and different. This doesn’t always happen, but unfortunately it does.
Here is the backbone of employees who have been working in the same company for decades, they are dependent on each other, even if they hate each participant. But at the same time, they unite as soon as someone new gets a job with them in order to “be friends against”. Having evicted one, they are taken with interest for another, almost making bets on how long the new unfortunate one will last.
Types of bullying
1. Directionality
- Horizontal. That is, oppression from the side of the team, with which on an equal footing.
- Vertical (bossing), when he directly terrorizes the authorities.
2. By manifestation
- Open. That is clear and obvious.
- Latent. Pressure on a person is carried out covertly, everyone seems to understand perfectly well what is happening, but there is no reason to rely on, and when trying to clarify the situation, the aggressor will deny his participation and intentions. Such a passive-aggressive position, when the expected results are achieved, that is, the dismissal of the desired person, they do not take responsibility for the consequences, believing that he simply turned out to be weak and weak-willed.
Bullying Tools
So, now let’s look at the main points of how mobbing manifests itself.
Boycott. It’s just that people around suddenly stop inviting to informal gatherings, fall silent, as soon as such a person just enters the room, they don’t share news and gossip, they either keep silent about corporate events or announce at the very last moment. This is a very complex type of psychological abuse, as not everyone is able to cope with stress. At work, a person spends most of his time, which is why a huge piece of his life turns into torture.
nitpicking. No matter how well he performs his duties, a person still listens to what he could do better and, in general, how many nuances that he did not take into account. There may be a feeling that he is not capable of anything, to the point that he is so bad that he is not worthy of a good life and position. Managers often use this method in order not to take responsibility for the dismissal, especially if it cannot be arranged for completely official and legal reasons.
Taunts. They are used in the event that it was possible to recognize the «Achilles heel» of the selected victim. Then the blows will be mercilessly applied to the most painful place — the complexes, aggravating their impact on the personality.
Denunciation. In simple words, squealing. Every mistake at work will be known to the authorities. Up to the point that the employee dared to make a photocopy of his passport or was late for a couple of minutes.
Disinformation. Most often used in relation to beginners who are not yet aware of all the responsibilities, various work nuances and internal politics. But then, in the eyes of the manager, they look like completely unintelligent and bad specialists, trying to slander some valuable employee.
Ability Ignore. In this case, the leadership, as it were, “does not notice” attempts to give everything to the full for the sake of the result, the manifestation of initiative, and so on. Therefore, such a person is not promoted, they are not rewarded for their efforts, they are deprived of bonuses and, if possible, fined on trifles.
And the last way, the rarest and most terrible — causing harm, both to the personal belongings of the unfortunate person, and to those items for which he is financially responsible. Although it happens that they mix all sorts of laxatives and put trips.
Aftermath
- the most terrible is that even a strong-willed person can be broken if “pressed” at the moment when he turned out to be vulnerable and vulnerable. You can’t always be in good shape, sometimes there are moments when we waste resources and need support and time to recover. So, if it is during this period to get into a weak spot, then a person may well commit suicide. Such cases are rare, so that a person kills himself due to work difficulties, but they do exist, especially if conflicts with superiors or colleagues are superimposed on other life troubles.
- daily stress leads to the emergence of various diseases, especially the cardiovascular system, stomach, headaches, insomnia and teeth crumble from retained anger.
- Depression. Any of the instruments of tyranny causes psychological discomfort, and if it lasts for a long time, the person becomes mentally unstable, which has a beneficial effect on the occurrence of a depressive state.
- Decreased self-esteem. Oh, mobbing hits the self-esteem of even a self-confident person very hard. The feeling that you are an outcast and someone does not like you, especially if a whole group of people is opposed, unsettles you, and also makes you think that you are not so good.
- Reduced efficiency. Experiences and attempts to cope with stress negatively affect attention, significantly worsening it, which is why mistakes are made and important nuances are not taken into account.
- Deteriorating relationships with loved ones. If it is not possible to express aggression directly, it accumulates and finds an outlet in safer conditions. And the family is exactly the space where a person can be himself and not be afraid of rejection.
Methods of struggle
Let’s now look at the main ways of fighting, after all, it is impossible to let the situation take its course, otherwise the situation will worsen and worsen every day.
Need patience and calmness
- First of all, try to talk openly with the offenders, what happened and what exactly you did not suit them. Otherwise, you can endlessly change jobs and end up in similar situations, instead of realizing, all of a sudden, the reason really lies in your personality and behavior. Yes, and by talking openly, you will defuse the situation, perhaps the tyrants will let off steam and they will no longer need to torment you further.
- If someone «aims» for your place, first determine for yourself whether this position is worth the effort. And if so, then give it your all, but prove that you are a worthy opponent and don’t give up so easily.
- Control yourself, because you can be deliberately provoked into a tantrum or aggression in order to show that you are not a professional in your field and do not deserve to be in such a company. Use the techniques described in the article «Basic breathing techniques for calming and relieving stress.» And do not forget to give vent to emotions, go in for sports, yoga, beat a pear and so on.
- If you understand that the game is not worth the candle, feel free to write a letter of resignation. Few salaries will cover the damage done, which will affect both the emotional state and health, relationships with loved ones and, in general, the quality of life.
- To understand what is happening and understand what to do next, ask yourself a series of questions, just be frank, this is necessary, first of all, for you:
• If I don’t quit, what’s the worst that could happen?
• Am I ready to look for a new job?
• If yes, what needs to be done to achieve this?
• Do I need help, both medical and psychological?
• If I change jobs but stay with the same company, will that help my situation?
More decisive ways
- For safety, get a video camera or a voice recorder, then any insults, threats and illegal actions will be captured, and you will be able to defend your rights.
- Learn to defend your boundaries, you should not allow yourself to be treated the way you want, you are a living person, and you may like something, but something may be unacceptable. But how will others know about it if you remain silent? So be sure to confront, you are a person who deserves a good attitude and respect. See the article «Defining a person’s personal space: boundaries and their violation.»
- If you just got a job, be friendly with everyone, and try not to get involved in conflicts between old employees, gossip and conspiracies. Take a closer look, study your colleagues in order to understand how you should treat with whom and what you can talk about, and what is better to remain silent. Use the recommendations from the article about communication skills, thanks to them you will be able to win over others, as well as increase the level of charm.
- If possible, use connections, if any, as a last resort, try to create them. The world is small, and if you wish, you can find those who have influence on the offenders.
- In cases where material or physical damage has been caused, do not be shy, and feel free to call the police, such situations cannot be left unpunished.
Conclusion
And in conclusion, I’ll say, maybe it’s time for you to change jobs? Here is an article that will help answer this question.
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Protect yourself, and do not give offense, set an example for those who are not capable of active action. And remember, life must be valued, time passes too quickly, and it is impossible to return it back! Take care of yourself and loved ones!