It is better to make a peace carpet in advance with your child. To do this, you can take a piece of fabric and stick (or better sew) various patterns on it. You can make the task easier by using a ready-made, large scarf on which you can stick some symbols of peace and harmony. Adults are reminded of this by a dove, a globe, and similar symbols, but children may have other associations. Try to take them into account. The main thing is that your son or daughter likes the resulting creation and evokes positive emotions in them.
When you see that children are quarreling and are already crossing the boundaries of decency in their statements, then urgently use this carpet of peace. Explain to the children that this is an unusual carpet. He helps people calm down and make peace if they quarreled. To do this, spread the carpet on the floor and invite the children to sit on it together. Now they can only stand as friends. It is forbidden to leave the carpet before the children have reconciled. While the guys are sitting on the carpet, they must observe the following rules: you can’t touch each other and you can’t say anything except the phrase “Tuh-tibi-dukh”. At the same time, they can gesticulate as much as they like, even waving their fists. The main thing is not to hurt the second child with them.
The child can also pronounce the magic phrase as he likes: if he wants, he can shout it menacingly, he can hiss angrily, he can grumble grumblingly. Thus, it turns out a funny dialogue of two children sitting on the carpet of the world. As a rule, they say their phrases in turn and somehow react to the emotional tone of such messages from the second child. You can be sure that even if communication on the carpet of the world began with wild menacing cries and menacing waving, then after a while the children will “run out of breath” and the tone of “tuh-tibi-spirits” will become much calmer.
You can just sit around all this time, making sure that the rules are followed, or you can give humorous remarks like: “Wow, how menacing!” or “Horrible, even I was scared!” This will help the children to understand that their negative emotions have reached their goal. When you feel that the children have already thrown out their grievances and anger, are a little tired and ready for a truce, then let them know that if they stretch out their hands to each other, they will be able to get up from the carpet of the world and go for a walk with you (or offer another something nice). If the children are mentally prepared for this, then let them silently connect their little fingers. Then they again get the “right to vote” and can consolidate their friendship with you by performing the ritual “make peace, make peace and don’t fight anymore …”.
Note. This game is very effective when played correctly. The fact is that in the process of performing a game task, children get the opportunity to directly express their negative emotions, moreover, to the addressee who caused them. At the same time, since they do not have the right to utter hurtful words that are typical for such a process in real life, they do not have new grievances and the feeling of anger and anger is not heated up. The ban on «assault» does not allow a fight to arise, while the child has the right to express his rage physically: with the help of movements, facial expressions, gestures. In the course of such an unusual way for children to express their usual feelings, they often find it funny, which means that they are already halfway to reconciliation.