The candaulism is a sexual inclination which is expressed by the excitement of a member of the couple to see his partner making love with a third party. We also speak of candaulism when desire rises at the simple glance of a third party on the spouse.

At the origins, the sexual practice goes back a long way – the story of Candaulism narrated by Herodotus relates to the XNUMXth century BC. The history of Candaulism begins with King Candaule. Madly admiring the charms of his companion, Candaule invites his guard to admire her with his own eyes. This one, pressed with insistence, agrees to observe the bedtime of the queen, who realizes it. Out of revenge, she forces the guard to kill the king and then to become her husband, the new sovereign on the throne.

This story of candaulism explains the definition of the term: a partner of the couple takes pleasure in having his companion admired by another. By extension, the candaulist is excited when he sees his spouse having sex with another.

Note: this sexual inclination is also known under the term of cuckolding, derived from cuckoo – cuckoo in French. The bird lays its eggs in another’s nest.

In a society where the gaze of others counts more and more, candaulism is prevalent. It differs from other sexual deviances, and can express itself in a very moderate way, in which case it is not akin to a sexual pathology.

Exhibitionism, swinging and voyeurism, what are the differences?

The exhibitionist is excited to show off her genitals in public. The candaulist does not need a large audience or a public place to stimulate his desire, a single observer even in an intimate place is enough for his pleasure. In addition, exhibitionism involves showing oneself while it is the spouse who must be fantasized by another in the case of candaulism.

Swinging is for the partners of a couple to make love with those of another couple, in the same room. The excitement also comes from the sight of the spouse having sex with a third party. But the candaulist does not necessarily need a carnal relationship to be aroused: the gaze of others on the companion is enough to stimulate his sexual desire.

The voyeur gets excited by observing strangers in their privacy and without their knowledge. The candaulist, on the contrary, is excited by the sight of his companion, with her consent.

The candaulist needs to boost his ego

When these customs do not prejudice the solidity of the couple or the morale of the partners, nor do they hinder their sexual development, candaulism is not pathological. How to explain this tendency to cuckolding?

• It may be that a Candaulist husband – men are more prone to this behavior – needs to boost his ego. For lack of self-confidence, he wishes to show off his partner to others, which can also reflect an exacerbated feeling of possessiveness. Seeing others envying his wife gives the Candaulist husband a feeling of power that can stimulate his sexual desire.
• When the addiction leads the Candaulist husband to observe his wife making love with another, another explanation is possible. The man does not manage to make his partner come, and generously wishes to offer her pleasure through a third party.

As long as the couple is aware of the inclination of one of the 2 members, as long as the woman accepts to excite her husband by showing off to others within the limits agreed by the couple, candaulism can be a way of varying sources of desire and sexual pleasure.

When infidelity weakens the couple

When the candaulism goes as far as the sexual act with a third party, infidelity, even in the sight and knowledge of the other, is characterized. With infidelity can then arise risks of jealousy. Another danger: the woman who makes love with another can fall in love with it.

Be careful to respect the limits of the will of the other

In any case the partner can not force his spouse to show off, in any proportions whatsoever. If blackmail or pressure are the engines of candaulism, the practice drifts and lovers no longer find the initial pleasure there. Any form of violence, likewise, is to be avoided.