They say friendship is like a diamond. It is rare, expensive, and there are a lot of fakes. But can we really do without friends? Perhaps a priest or colleague would be a good alternative? We deal with the practical psychologist Elina Tarutina.
It is believed that we can be strong friends at the same time with a limited number of people: if there are more than five friends, these relationships can be called superficial – even the most inveterate extrovert will not be enough for more. However, most often the closest friend is one. According to sociological research, a company with more than five people begins to divide into pairs in the process of communication: this is how our psyche works.
Today, a friend in need is no longer known. This phrase was more relevant during the world wars and crusades, when in a difficult situation life depended on the behavior of the one who was nearby. Now a friend is known in joy. He never envies and will always be glad if an inheritance from abroad suddenly fell on his loved one or he managed to climb the career ladder.
If a friend betrayed your trust, then this can discourage you from having such connections for a long time. When a person is hurt, he withdraws into himself. Creates projections, beginning to suspect of a possible betrayal of everyone who tries to get close to him. Closing in on yourself after what happened is not the best way out. If one has betrayed, then it is not at all necessary that others will betray.
The essence of friendship lies in a different, deeper interaction with a person. And such a connection is in the irrational area of consciousness
To relieve stress from psychological trauma, you can talk with parents or close relatives: when we talk about an unpleasant situation, we archive it and process it with our subconscious. Gradually, the intensity of passions subsides and there is a desire to live on. And the best way to seal the trauma can help a psychologist.
People are social beings. It’s just that someone needs a conditional flock of associates less, and someone wants to communicate with different people every day. Priests, psychologists or colleagues cannot completely replace a person’s friends. Friendship is a sustainable interaction based on trust and mutual respect, as well as on common interests. A relationship with a psychologist or a priest cannot contain all aspects of friendship. For example, a client and a psychologist may not have common hobbies. In addition, it is the psychologist who helps the client, and not vice versa: support is provided in a one-way mode.
Therefore, for a full-fledged relationship, a friend is still needed. But it is almost impossible to impose friendship on an adult and capable person. There are techniques that allow you to “unwind” a person for a service, as well as help to win over a person, but no more (for this, it’s enough to read Dale Carnegie and similar authors). The essence of friendship lies in a different, deeper interaction with a person. And such a connection, like love, is in the irrational area of consciousness.
About expert
Elina Tarutina – practical psychologist, member of the International Association of Holistic Practical Psychology and Psychotherapy. Read more on her and .