Can sex toys replace a partner?

Previously, in order to buy any intimate gadget, you had to go through a whole quest: visit a “terrible institution for perverts”, explain to the saleswoman that “this is not for me, a friend asked”, and quietly emerge back, making sure that no one even next to the sex shop did not see.

Now everything is easier. First of all, the purchase process has been simplified: you can choose and order everything in the online store with home delivery, and simple sex shops are at every turn and do not look like a container of evil.

In addition, people themselves are less likely to believe that sex toys are made for perverts, are harmful to health and are addictive. But some stereotypes, of course, are still alive. As a rule, they are characteristic of those who explain their disregard for intimate gadgets with the words “everything is fine in our bed anyway.” As if sex toys were made exclusively for those who are having a bad time. Why this is not so and whether playful gadgets will replace a living person nearby, sex bloggers say.

What are the advantages of sex toys

Most often, men react especially painfully to this topic: they worry that they cannot please their partner and see a competitor in the vibrator. But a sex toy is not about replacing a loved one with technology, but about the opportunity to try something new.

What do gadgets give us?

Other sensations

• “There is such a category of toys as non-contact vacuum stimulators,” explains sex blogger Arina Vintovkina. – The technology was invented by the Womanizer brand and began to produce inexpensive Satysfyer models, and then many more people borrowed the idea.

  Simply put, the oscillating membranes create air currents that stimulate the head of the clitoris. At the level of sensations, this is slightly reminiscent of cunnilingus, when there are both sucking movements and the slightest tapping of the tongue on the head of the clitoris. But in fact, the sensations are not like anything, and even the most amazing human mouth cannot depict such a thing. The question is not whether it’s worse or better, but whether it’s just different.”

• “Toys with an electrical stimulation function – a more “exotic” type of device – give the lightest electrical discharges that are felt on the mucous membrane as a slight pleasant tingling. Kind of micro fireworks. The sensations are unusual, from the “amateur” category, and this, of course, cannot be repeated by a person, ”the blogger notes.

fast discharge

Sex toys, especially vacuum stimulators, are often praised for providing fast and intense orgasms. “I can hardly imagine how, at the height of the working day, I come to my husband at work and command:“ So, urgently finish the meeting and bring me to orgasm. It is both organizationally difficult, and somehow … not humanly, – says Arina Vintovkina. “It’s much easier to get your favorite vibrator and in a minute or two feel what the body required.”

True, it is worth remembering that the human body is individual and there is no such model of a sex toy that would suit absolutely everyone. Similarly, stimulants do not always bring absolutely every woman pleasure.

Endurance

“No man can move as fast as a toy in your hands,” says sex blogger and sex shop co-owner Katya Secret. “And the vibrator is “sharpened” to perform some action for a long time and monotonously – most people will not be able to do this.”

closeness to yourself

According to Arina Vintovkina, toys make it possible to explore one’s own sexuality without regard to the needs and capabilities of a partner, without fear of appearing “concerned” or, conversely, “cold”: “Toys do not judge, they do not look askance and do not say “Where did you get such idea?!” or “And my ex liked it so much…”

You don’t have to consider their feelings. You decide how you need – stronger, quieter, with what pressure, at this angle or another. And you don’t need to think right now how to formulate your desire to your partner so that he doesn’t tense up, doesn’t get offended and doesn’t get upset. You can fully concentrate on your own feelings, putting aside everything that is sometimes difficult to endure during sex with a person.

And this one hundred percent focus on yourself leads to the fact that you begin to understand how your body works. In other words, for me, sex toys are a story about liberated and autonomous sexuality. And this is especially important for female sexuality, which for centuries has been oppressed, and denied, and perceived as an appendage to the male.

What toys can’t

It is clear that you cannot build a romantic relationship with sex toys and you cannot create a family. But what can they not compensate for in the area of ​​sex?

Repeat some practices

“In my opinion, toy manufacturers have not yet learned how to make something that closely reproduces oral sex or, for example, friction without the participation of hands. Yes, there are pulsators, but this technology is still imperfect,” says Katya Secret.

Give a sense of closeness

“When comparing sex toys and sex with a partner, the difference is about the same as between a filmstrip and a 4D movie. Or between a massage chair, which is usually found in shopping centers, and a session with a professional massage therapist, explains Arina Vintovkina. – Sex toys affect only the body, providing mechanical irritation where we are pleased.

And sex with a partner inevitably includes all channels of perception: we touch and see each other, smell, hear voice and breath. Good or bad sex, from the point of view of, for example, “orgasmicity”, it’s still a “movie in 4D”.

Sex toy or partner?

There is no winner in this dispute, so it is worth making a decision based on your own goals and needs of the body. For example, if a partner is not interested in sex at some point or you do not have the strength to engage and communicate with him, a toy is the best way out of the situation.

“A vibrator can help people who have experienced sexual abuse or other traumatic experiences,” notes Katya Secret. – And also if they have a need for sexual satisfaction, but there is no readiness for close interaction with another person.

A product from a sex shop can also be useful if a woman has reduced sensitivity for some reason and it is difficult for her to have an orgasm. For example, this often happens due to the use of antidepressants. In this case, you should pay attention to powerful magic wand vibrators (for example, Doxy), sound clitoris stimulators (for example, Lelo sona), as well as intimate cosmetics with a warming effect (for example, Orgie brand products).”