If suddenly you are looking for a life partner, I will tell you a simple question with which you can immediately weed out people who are not suitable for you. The question is: Can people change?
When misunderstandings and conflicts arise in a family, someone needs to start changing themselves. As a rule, both need it. But if at least one person knows that he / she cannot change himself, because people do not change, then nothing will get better in such a family.
Let’s be honest: if you assume that people can’t change, you’re wasting your time here. Don’t waste your time, I can’t help you and I tell you goodbye.
Bye!
If you are at least confident about yourself that at least you can change yourself in something important, then we work further. Throw out the phrase “You can’t change yourself”, remind yourself more often: “I can change!”.
At the request of readers, I will clarify: it is almost impossible to change another person against his will and consent, do not build illusions here. Women’s hopes — «Yes, he drinks, but I will wean him from this!» — empty. Therefore, perhaps we will say this: «A person can change, but another person cannot be changed.» The specialist can, but you can’t.
Now. I recently heard a presentation of a look at a man who turned out to be exceptionally popular primarily among women. I have not yet understood what is more in him — sweet naivety or dense ignorance, but this view is stated as follows: in a person there is an external and an internal. The external is his appearance, figure, clothes and hairstyle, and the internal is his character, temperament and all that deep that determines our behavior. Temperament cannot be changed, it is innate, and everything deep is our unconscious, which can only be understood with the help of a psychologist who has access to the unconscious. So, what can be changed in a person? Internal — you can not change, you can only deal with it. Okay, maybe you can change the character, but a little and for a very long time. But you can seriously change only the external, that is, only clothes, hair, and lose weight if you go to fitness.
If you have the same views on a person, you can change your hair and clothes as effectively as you can, everything else, given your laziness, you will never change.
Where is the ambush? What is missing in this picture?
Write down your thoughts.
Answer: in this picture there is no behavior, no action, what a person can either do or not do. More precisely, in this picture there is human behavior, but it is only an expression of the inner. I splash out my actions, words and emotions, because this is an expression of my feelings and everything else internal. Well, I’m not the author of my emotions? So are my words and deeds: if I do not pretend, if I act sincerely, they simply express my inner self. Well, as for the internal, as we have already found out, what it is, it is …
Those who work at the Distance think differently. If they are in the author’s position, they know that they can act and take responsibility for their actions. If they speak, they know to whom and for what they speak, and they are responsible for their words. If they make an offer, they are responsible for their contribution, you can rely on them. They can act, they can make their personal choices and they choose to shape themselves and their destiny. If this ideology is close to you, I invite you to the Distance!