Contents
Hello! Everyday psychology is knowledge about the human psyche, which was obtained through experience. But this is a rather individual process, and people can draw different conclusions from the same situation.
Accordingly, this knowledge is subjective. So is it possible to trust those who claim that they themselves are psychologists in life even without specialized education? Today we will weigh all the pros and cons. So that you can determine for yourself whether it is possible or not.
What does this term include?
I want to make a small note that everyday experts form, so to speak, a knowledge base, based not only on their own experience, but also on observations of people around them. By the way, this information accumulates and helps not only its creator in making important decisions and so on.
It is also passed down from generation to generation. The most valuable information is transformed into fables, sayings, fairy tales, myths. So that the widest range of people have access to them.
There are individuals with truly unique intuitive abilities. By nature or through their profession, they become sensitive and understand the secrets of the human soul.
For example, taxi drivers or waiters, bartenders often communicate with people. Moreover, in an informal atmosphere conducive to dialogue and honesty. They hear a lot of different stories, so different that they are no longer surprised at many things, because they know more unusual cases.
But is everyday psychology opposed to scientific? I think they complement each other more than they contradict each other. In addition, if a person with a wealth of knowledge in life receives specialized training, he will become an excellent specialist.
Are there differences?
So, what to choose when there is some kind of difficulty that you can’t figure out on your own? Pour out your soul to your beloved friend over a glass of wine, have a good walk with friends until the morning, or still sign up for a consultation? The choice is directly yours.
But I want to bring to your attention the differences in the work of a specialist and an everyday psychologist. Knowing the difference in their approach will make it easier to navigate your needs. That is, what exactly is important to get in the end.
Sometimes really «saving» are gatherings with loved ones. When it’s important to just speak out to someone who has known you for «a thousand years.» Such trust in a couple of meetings with a psychotherapist can hardly be felt.
But there are times when a friend just doesn’t know how to listen, or when a decision needs to be made, and he gives advice based on his own story. And they in your situation may “work” differently than his. And it is important to understand where the problem comes from, then it is possible to deal with it.
Differences
Surface — Depth
What happens when someone complains to another person about life? Most likely, the one who was contacted, despite his maturity, experience and personality traits, will give advice on what to do.
Maybe share a similar story. This will allow me to feel that I am not alone in this world, they empathize with me and once also faced such a situation.
Such unity is sometimes important, yes, as well as a direct guide to action, but it does not solve the problem itself.
It will help only if the main need is to let off steam, relieve tension, free yourself from accumulated thoughts and feelings, understand that you are not alone in this world. But a person is unlikely to realize at what point a failure occurs.
Or what it does that leads to a similar result. Accordingly, a little later he will face a similar situation. As they say in the people «step on the same rake.»
For example, a girl is constantly used by men, relationships do not work out, and she is in despair after another breakup, disappointment.
An experienced friend may, for example, advise you to be more careful, careful in your choice. Appreciate yourself and enjoy the opposite sex. He will offer to introduce him to some good friend of his, who also fails in family life and so on.
And some of the tips can even help, but after a while, most likely she will come again, complaining about unsuitable men.
The therapist will not give advice. He will try to explore with the client what causes such failures in the relationship.
In the course of work, learning to be aware of her feelings and satisfying the repressed needs, the girl will begin to change. Which, of course, will entail changes in her daily life.
Responsibility — irresponsibility
When a person gives advice, even very good advice that has helped many people, he takes responsibility for the consequences. Even if he doesn’t understand it.
For example, a man, having learned about the betrayal of his wife, not knowing what to do, turns to a friend. He recommends a divorce, because how can you forgive after this? He certainly would have done the same.
But then time passes and he finds himself guilty of intervening and ruining the life of his friend. Since he is unable to live on from suffering and regrets that he listened to the advice.
A practical psychologist would be there, leading questions to help him decide on his own whether he is ready to forgive or not. But I certainly wouldn’t take responsibility on the idea that I know better, even if I do.
Each person, in order to understand something, must independently come to some conclusion, only then the experience gained is assimilated and will be built into the structure of his personality. What will save you from falling into the «same rake» in the future.
In fact, making decisions, trying to understand and accept your imperfections is quite a difficult job. A lot of strength and other resources sometimes need to be applied in order to finally realize something.
Some years have to work hard to cope with trauma, facing difficult experiences over and over again.
It is for this reason that most people, experiencing difficulties, prefer to turn to all sorts of magicians, healers or even friends to tell them what to do. To reassure you that everything will be fine.
It’s a very easy way to have someone else do my job for me and I’ll have a wonderful life. A rather infantile idea, which sometimes leads to extremely unpleasant consequences.
Life experience — experimental data
The difference between scientific psychology is that it relies on data obtained through research, analysis, synthesis, testing and other methods. Which can be justified, proved. While a person who considers himself an expert in this field is forced to limit himself to his own observations and conclusions.
Quite often you can hear the phrase: “But my friend had the same thing. She did something and it helped her.”
What kind of friend? Does it really exist, or did the adviser simply decide to give weight to his words? Did she really do what he says? And was it true that there was such a perfect similarity in the situations of two strangers that one recommendation would lead to identical results?
In general, as you understand, a person who is critical of such randomly coincident stories can have a lot of questions.
Intuition — rationalization
Everyday specialists are generally guided by intuition. They have an inner knowledge of when it is better to remain silent, and when to express their opinion. With what person how to behave. When is it worth sympathizing, and when will verbal “thrashing” be more effective.
In the case of graduates, even if they have a well-developed intuition and they can fully rely on it, guesses and ideas are built to a greater extent, based on rationalization and the results of various experiments, scientific theories.
Yes, they can express their assumptions, asking the client whether this is so. Because each person is individual and it is important to notice his features and differences in work. But they will not “hang” labels and make diagnoses, guided only by intuition.
Trust — the desire to verify
Scientific theories are rarely in doubt, especially when proven. They are studied by students, sometimes schoolchildren and those who are interested in psychology.
Everyday knowledge, although passed down from generation to generation, is not always recognized and accepted in a timely manner.
As mentioned above, a person absorbs information better when he comes to conclusions on his own. That is, gaining experience. Now think back to your childhood. Have you always done what your parents told you to do? Did you resist their requests or instructions, and then you realized that it turns out that your mother was right and you should have listened to her?
Completion
Finally, I want to remind you to be attentive to your needs. And already depending on them, make a choice to whom to go for help, to a loved one or a psychotherapist.
Take care of yourself and be happy!
And finally, we recommend reading an article about the resilience of a person’s personality.
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina