How to behave in the presence of a child, how to find a balance between puritanical modesty and excessive emancipation? Every parent should ask themselves this question. Expert opinions and advice.
Walking naked from the bathtub to the bedroom or dressing without ceremony in the presence of a child – how acceptable is it for parents to show their nudity? “Until the age of 2–3 years, a child does not feel discomfort at the sight of naked adults,” explains sexologist and psychotherapist Irina Panyukova. “Moreover, direct bodily contact with parents gives him a sense of security, which is important for his mental development. But later, when the child begins to realize gender – his own and those around him, adults need to establish a distance. Their nudity may prematurely stimulate the child’s sexual interest and lead to the development of neurotic hypersexuality in children.”
A casually seen undressed adult will only remind the boy or girl that people exist without clothes. But if relatives constantly show their naked body, they show psychological violence. “Such nudity is aggressive,” emphasizes Irina Panyukova. – An adult seems to say: “Whatever you feel, I do as I want.” The child still cannot fence off, ask not to do this, he has to cope with feelings of embarrassment, shame and his own excitement. Psychotherapist Robert Neuburger agrees: “The naked body of an adult captures, conquers, prevents the child from understanding who he is. Understand that he has his own body, and the parent has his own and never merge together. So by closing the bathroom door, we protect each other’s personal boundaries and help the growing person find independence.
You need to treat a child chastely, teach him modesty – this feeling will help to “humanize” your sexuality, to understand how it differs from the sexuality of animals that do not know constraint. “We do not impose our nudity on others at work or on the street,” Irina Panyukova notes. “And they shouldn’t behave differently at home either. If adults are more comfortable without clothes, they have the whole house while the children are in kindergarten or at school. It is impossible to help a child adapt to life in society if other laws apply in the family.”
About it
In the book The Transformation of Intimacy, British sociologist Anthony Giddens writes about the modern perception of sexuality, marriage, eroticism cultivated in society, and relationships between parents and children that sometimes require healing (Peter, 2004).