Calibration

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​It used to be said — a very attentive interlocutor, observant, notices everything in a conversation! Now they are talking about the same thing: “calibrates perfectly”!

Calibration is a careful observation of the small details of the state and behavior of a person, clarifying our vision of his state. Calibration is used for more effective adjustment and guidance, calibration data helps to better understand what a person really thinks and feels, even if he is not in the mood to talk about his condition, or even more so plays a double game.

What does calibration give? It is best to quote and give examples from the works of students of the University of Practical Psychology, which they wrote as reports on the results of training this wonderful skill.

Written by B. Nelya

My youngest daughter, she is 14 years old, raised her T-shirt in front of the mirror and in a loud voice, attracting my attention, says: Mom, I’m so fat! What I observe: Gyulchatai zone 1: the center of the eyebrows is raised (some surprise), wrinkles between the eyebrows (intensifies the moment), the nose is upturned, the corners of the lips are lowered. The eyes are curious and cunning. They have already prepared an answer for me: well, what are you, Yanochka, you are thin and beautiful. I set up an experiment, I answer: now I’ll call the fitness club, find out what time the coach is free. Further oil painting: the first reaction is bewilderment, the wrinkles on the forehead are horizontal, the eyes are large and round (not what I expected to hear), the mouth is ajar. Surprise and bewilderment.

Writes L. Sergey

I chose my wife, director, and administrator as calibrators. We have been married for 30 years, what new can I see in my wife? Intuitively, unconsciously, even by micromovements, by the first word, I know what and why she is saying. But after consciously observing her facial expressions and gestures, I realized that I still don’t know much about her. She can speak affectionately, the right words and eyes can be kind, but if I see a wrinkle on her forehead, it means she is angry; if gesticulation is added (usually pointing, but sometimes just vanity of movements) it means that she is indignant and wants to actively influence. When she analyzes something, her eyes narrow and begin to run from side to side.

Pleasure is expressed in a slight smile without baring the teeth, the corners of the lips are strongly upward, there is a wrinkle under the eyes, the cheeks rise up, the so-called crow’s feet form in the outer corners of the eyes. When surprised, the eyes widen, wrinkles appear on the forehead and the mouth opens slightly.

When she does not believe me, her face seems to be going to the center: her lips are tight, her cheeks are pulled up, her nose is wrinkled, her eyes are screwed up, there are wrinkles on her forehead …

M. Svetlana writes

Department of private security, I’m waiting near the office for the end of the afternoon break. Time is up but no one is there. About twenty minutes later a woman appears and notices me waiting for her to come. The movements of the hands become fussy, the shoulders stoop a little, the head is drawn into the shoulders. The face tenses up, wrinkles appear on the forehead, the eyebrows are slightly reduced to the bridge of the nose. “Are you with me?” is the question. In intonation, one can hear alertness and hope that this is not so. “Yes,” I say calmly. — «To you». Even more he begins to fuss, quickly undresses and begins to shift some documents, straining his forehead and the bridge of his nose, a vein pulsates on his neck. The phone rings, the employee quickly takes the TEU, answers and looks at me a little with fear.

I calmly explained the essence of my question and noticed with satisfaction that the woman gradually calmed down, seeing that I was not going to reprimand her and blame her for being late. Movement slowed down, shoulders straightened, lips touched by a slight smile.

Another cabinet. To resolve the following issue, I turned to a pleasant woman with a request to help terminate the contract in the absence of a relative in whose name the document was drawn up. He was undergoing treatment in the hospital and could not attend, but handed over his passport and payment receipts.

At first, the first reaction was according to the protocol: “It’s not supposed to be like that.” The face and voice are stern, without emotions, the body is frozen and tucked up. I did not argue, only asked to delve a little deeper into the situation and give advice. After a couple of minutes, the body relaxed, the hand propped up the chin, the look warmed up, the eyebrows rose, dragging the upper eyelids with it, small wrinkles gathered in the corners of the eyes, a dimple on the left cheek became noticeable, the chin slightly raised. Notes of sympathy were heard in the voice: «Well, well, write a statement.»

While I was writing a statement, the face changed again. It became a little thoughtful, looking away for a few seconds. It is evident that something of its own inspired. “Yes, anything can happen in life,” it sounded quietly in the silence. Sincerely thanking for your understanding, I went home.

S. Tatiana writes

Once my son and I were sitting in a cafe, and while he was chewing his sandwich, washing it down with a sweet drink, I decided not to waste time and try to calibrate the woman sitting opposite us.

She sat sideways to us, and it was possible to look at her calmly, without fear that the woman would be embarrassed under my gaze. The woman turned out to be an interesting specimen to observe. She sat with a straight posture, one might say, in a calm presence — a minimum of gestures, without too much fuss. Dressed quite simply and tastefully — a long plain skirt, a silk flowered jacket. She constantly looked out the window and was focused on her own thoughts. On the table, next to her purse, was a swollen diary. I paid attention to her gestures, they were collected and at the same time very neat, I would say, aristocratic and refined. As she finished her coffee, she wiped her hands on a napkin. She took out a mirror and checked her makeup. The movements are clear and coordinated. She put away the mirror and the remaining clean napkins in her purse.

At that time I was thinking, who could this woman work for? After listing several options, she settled on the fact that she is very similar to a teacher at a university. Watching her, it seemed to me that she was exactly the person who was used to speaking in front of an audience — her gaze was calm, at the same time collected, her gestures were unhurried, but clear. It can be seen that a person is respected and knows his own worth. I also thought that she probably had some degree.

It only remained to find out somehow about my guess. When the woman got up, she was right next to our table. Her gaze fell on me, and I decided: “Excuse me, but you don’t work as a teacher at a university?” There was surprise in her eyes. She confirmed: “Yes, indeed I am a teacher, in addition, I am the head of the department at the university, and besides, I am an assistant professor. And what?» I had to admit that I was a student of the Faculty of Psychology, and I was doing an educational task — reading information from a stranger. She complimented me on my observation. And I thought that by carefully observing a person, his movements, gestures, facial expressions, posture, you can learn a lot about his character, profession, status, marital status, even before a person begins to speak.

You just need to be able to read it…

As a Distance exercise, the Calibration exercise teaches you to see the emotions and moods of people (including your own emotions) in the process of communication and to distinguish lies from the truth. The exercise is worked out in a variety of practices, and the ORM (the volume of the planned result) is formulated (for example) in this way.

Developed the skill of observation, 90% of 100% of the time confident contact with a person: I know how and what to look at in order to determine the internal state of a person; I see what exactly is behind the words that the interlocutor tells you; I distinguish the manifestation of human emotions from other «noise signals»; I understand where this or that emotion comes from, how long it lasts and how it subsides; I see the motives and causes of people’s actions.

Exercises and practices to help master the skill of calibration:

1. «Gulchatai»

General task: when transmitting any information (not/corresponding to reality), in the first seconds, track changes in a person’s facial expressions by floor. At the same time, we close other parts of the face (tablet, sheet of paper, etc.).

• Upper floor (micromovements of the head, movements of the eyebrows, mimic wrinkles on the forehead, skin color, movement of the skin under the hair).
• Middle floor (movements of the cheekbones, corners of the eyes, size of the eyes and pupils, squinting, tension of the eyelids, blinking, movement of the wings of the nose, movement of the muscles under the wings of the nose).
• Lower floor (cheekbones, lips, chin, neck).

2. Headless Horseman

Task: when transmitting any information (not / corresponding to reality), to track changes in the human body in the first seconds. At the same time, we close the face (tablet, sheet of paper, etc.). Parameters: breathing, body swaying, fading, “ripples” through the body, light / heavy sigh, larynx movements, skin color.

3. «Telepathy»

The exercise is done in pairs. The first number, having previously calibrated the body and facial expressions of the partner on simple questions, issues statements about the second. For example, “A cat lives at your house” (says something that he does not know about the second number). According to the parameters of the body of the second participant, the first number determines whether this statement applies to the partner or not.

4. Tracking the facial expressions of actors

How? Watch a good quality movie…