We all want to trust people, but not everyone is trustworthy. Sometimes it’s worth taking a closer look – and not whether your colleague or friend is making his own plans at your expense. Here are a few signs that will indicate that next to you is a liar and a manipulator.
“What a web we weave when we first deceive,” wrote Walter Scott in his poem Marmion. Marmion is about a love that managed to survive despite the constant lies, manipulation and betrayal of two schemers. The story, written two centuries ago, has not lost its relevance, because human nature, alas, remains unchanged.
How much easier it would be to live if every egoist, deceiver, malicious manipulator could be easily exposed! Alas, they are good at hiding their real intentions, and many innocent people fall into the very “web” that Sir Walter Scott once wrote about.
Victims of “spiders” find themselves in the most unexpected unpleasant situations, and they have to clean up the consequences of someone else’s selfishness. In order not to fall into such a trap, it is important to see it in advance. By learning to see the “web of lies” from afar, we can bypass it, avoiding a lot of trouble.
What does this “web” and the “spiders” that weave it look like? Here are 12 signs that will help identify dishonest people, deceivers and manipulators.
1. They hide their true intentions. If someone encourages others to be frank, but he himself does not want to talk much about himself, this is a reason to be wary. This approach allows you to first learn more about others, get close to them, and then use them for your own purposes.
2. They appropriate the fruits of other people’s labor. Such a person collects information about other people’s plans and projects, tries to find out valuable information, attributing all the merits to himself. If someone is actively interested in the affairs of others, it is possible that he just wants to steal someone else’s idea.
3. They make scandals out of nothing. This is the simplest method of manipulation: making a tempting offer or making unfounded claims. Thus, the deceiver provokes the “victim” to a meeting, where he abruptly changes the topic of conversation and “attacks” from a completely different, unexpected side.
4. They hide important information. By restricting access to important information, manipulators place others in a dependent position, forcing them to obey.
5. They coax you with gifts. An unexpected gift helps a lot to win over a person. In addition, the recipient of the gift feels indebted to the manipulator. Remember that a gift, by definition, is a selfless gesture. He does not oblige you to anything.
6. They make useful connections through unscrupulous methods. Many insincere people are constantly looking for new useful acquaintances that may be useful to them in the future. Usually, the manipulator offers some kind of favor or gift in return, often illegal or capable of ruining a reputation. In the future, this can be used for pressure or even outright blackmail.
7. They try to find out your weaknesses. Another tactic of manipulators and schemers is to pretend to be friends, they try to learn more about your weaknesses. Such a person may at the most unexpected moment ask some seemingly innocent question, hoping to take you by surprise and get a frank answer. This information will most certainly be used against you.
8. They inflate their worth. Cheaters and manipulators love to disappear from view just when you urgently need them. In this way they are trying to increase their value in our eyes. Usually such a person appears at the very last moment and solves the problem, earning himself a reputation as a “hero” and “savior”. Sometimes later it turns out that he created the problem himself.
9. They are unpredictable. By constantly changing his habits and behavior, the deceiver keeps everyone around him in constant tension, forcing him to spend a lot of time and energy in order to predict what to expect from him.
10. They pretend to be stupid. It is often beneficial for a smart intriguer to be considered a narrow-minded person. This gives him time to assess the situation and prepare for the “attack”, and also helps to hide his true motives.
11. They try to become the favorites of their superiors. It is especially difficult for superiors to recognize deceivers among subordinates, even if other subordinates understand everything perfectly. Manipulators flatter bosses, obey unquestioningly, and often pose as a victim, hoping that the boss will stand up for them. Of course, they try to hide what is happening and deny everything.
12. They leave behind only “ruins” and always shift the blame to others. The most reliable method to identify manipulators, deceivers, intriguers is to find out their past. If a whole “train” of victims and “scapegoats” on whom they blame is stretching behind them, this is a very disturbing sign. Beware of those who constantly blame someone else for all the problems.