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What to do with your own egoism?
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By changing our own and someone else’s personal role, we change the entire motivational situation as a whole.
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Everything, the guy goes and works. What drove him to this? The flattering role of the TALENTED. Obviously, this is a local specification of a more general formula: «You are a real man, you can do it!» According to the situation, real men can and should take out the trash, go to the store, wash the dishes, conclude a profitable contract, accomplish a feat, etc. And those who remember this remind those who know it in time. To make them all do it.
A real man is a role, the same as the role of a Woman. In accordance with this role, at least according to the belief of men, women should set the table, wash dishes and not interfere in men’s conversations, with which women in the role of female feminists strongly disagree.
For their part, almost all women remember this role when they defend their rights to men for flowers, sweet whims, tears and chatter. When meeting with a traffic police inspector, women insist with their whole body and flapping eyelashes that they are not drivers of a vehicle at all, but only beautiful and weak women.
By reminding you of your role, people control you. Remembering your role, you manage yourself
At work, the boss reminds you: “At work, they do work!” — and you (I want to believe) remember your role as an employee, in the evening your beloved looks into your eyes, in which you read: “There are only two in the whole world — you and me”, — and become a romantic lover …
And what to do with it?
Understand when role expectations are applied to you, and purposefully apply them to yourself and others. Successful people, leaders, differ from everyone else in that they simply learn (master) the scenario of all the roles they need and then confidently carry out this scenario they need — or, encountering difficulties, push through.
By accustoming ourselves to a new role, we form a new personality for ourselves, we become a new person.
As Konstantin Vanshenkin wrote,
A coward pretended to be brave in war
Because the cowards were not given a descent.
He, pale, rolled into battle on armor,
He languidly joked at a halt.
He was spinning and shaking all over,
When we got bombed.
But fear he hid carefully and evil
And he got his way.
And so he entered the role that finally
He became a brave man, almost already natural.
It would be nice if, say, a scoundrel
Forever pretended to be noble.
Hiding meanness, day by day
He showed the same persistence.
In everything else, appreciating naturalness,
I applaud such a pretense!