“But we don’t care!”: who is happy with the quarantine

The coronavirus pandemic has claimed thousands of lives around the world, caused a general crisis, destroyed the economy, and deprived people of their jobs. But in addition to external damage, it dealt a blow to the psyche of people who are not adapted to life in isolation.

Quarantine has become a challenge for many – will we be able to keep our distance, will we cope with anxiety and loneliness. We were all in the same boat, experiencing anxiety and discomfort. So right?

In fact, some of us do not suffer in isolation, but enjoy it. Reasoning about how isolation will affect us is often too general and does not take into account that people are different. We react differently to a change in life situation, to stress and forced solitude.

Extrovert and introvert

Take for example Katya, 37 years old. At the very beginning of the quarantine, after two days of remote work, she invited her friends to arrange a Zoom session and drink wine together. But after the bottle was over, Katya was even more upset. Drinking on video is not the same as sitting somewhere in a bar.

She imagined with horror how she would be sitting at home for a whole month, or even more, cut off from her friends. Katya called her friend on Skype and, almost crying, exclaimed: “Maybe the coronavirus won’t kill me, but isolation will finish me one hundred percent.”

Igor, on the contrary, has changed almost nothing in his life. He enjoyed isolation, slept a lot, listened to records, sometimes wrote to a girlfriend, and walked in the woods at night. True, he had to make an effort on himself when he had to concentrate on work. But he soon managed to adapt and easily coped with remote work. Igor was not ashamed of the fact that he liked the “apocalypse”.

Maria was also satisfied with almost everything. Now, if jogging and classes in a fitness club were returned to her, and even meetings with her best friend, life would be perfect.

Katya is a typical extrovert. She needs company, among people she is energized, and alone she withers and plunges into unhappy thoughts. Igor is an introvert. He enjoys silence, he feels good in solitude. Mary is somewhere in the middle. She suffers, but not as desperately as Katya.

How many people, so many opinions

The difference in the characters and behavior of introverts and extroverts is visible from childhood and becomes more and more obvious over the course of life. The difference affects what kind of environment a person creates around him and how he adapts to the world.

In the course of the study, extroverts and introverts were asked to spend a week actively communicating, hanging out, in a word, to live the life of a typical extrovert. As a result, the first received a boost of energy, a new experience, and a great mood. The second received nothing but fatigue and irritation.

In quarantine, it’s the other way around. Social distancing forces us to spend time alone with ourselves or our immediate family. Introverts have been preparing for isolation since birth, for them it is a gift and an opportunity. It’s so nice to sit at home and at the same time not feel that something is wrong with you, not listen to the reproaches of relatives and friends, they say, you’re boring, boring and so on.

For extroverts, house arrest is a real torture and trauma. They die for long weeks of boredom and loneliness, locked in four walls. Why is quarantine easier for introverts? Yes, because they do not want to communicate with many, they are less eager for thrills. They only need one or two close friends. At Zoom.

look deeper

The division of people into introverts and extroverts is too general. If we understand in more detail, we will see subspecies and subtypes, the reaction of which also differs. Here are 4 behaviors that are characteristic of 4 types of personality.

1. Conscientious people, highly organized, less irascible and more adapted, are more likely to be able to establish a routine, which is very correct from the point of view of experts.
2. Friendly, polite people who easily work in a team, sympathize with others, are prone to empathy, easier to negotiate with family members, easier to avoid conflicts. They enjoy spending time with their loved ones.
3. People who are open to everything new, curious dreamers, most likely will find solace in books, music, finish writing a novel or a picture that they abandoned before quarantine.
4. Anxious people who tend to catastrophize the situation, take it out on others, control everything – even what is actually impossible to control – are more prone to stress and negative emotions than their cheerful and good-natured partners, most of all suffer from helplessness and depression.

Of course, such a division is also quite approximate. Introverts are not immune to loneliness, and extroverts get tired of socializing and are able to survive in isolation, relying on reliable resources and the support of friends. But still.

life under the hood

Some people think that living in isolation is like flying into space on a rocket. But what do spaceflight studies really teach us? They prove that people who are more emotionally stable, self-reliant, self-reliant, win-oriented, friendly, patient, and open are better able to handle isolation.

Introverts who enjoy socializing but don’t need it are the most adapted to life under the hood. Let’s remember Mary. She’s just one of those.

So, what do you need to endure until the end of quarantine and not break loose? You need to be calm and organized, collected, but attentive, rely on yourself, but maintain contact with loved ones.

Loneliness vs seclusion

The coronavirus pandemic has spawned a phenomenon that many call the “loneliness epidemic”, but perhaps the tragedy of the situation is exaggerated. After all, what is bad for some, brings joy to others. Perhaps this epidemic of loneliness is really a new experience of solitude, a way to return to yourself. An effective type of therapy, no worse than group support and hugs.

The ability to spend time alone is another form of emotional maturity, as is the ability to be intimate and intimate. Of course, some people have faced external difficulties in quarantine that have nothing to do with their personality type. Some lost their jobs, others were cut off from the world, others suffered from domestic violence.

But even in these situations, our response to a challenge reflects not so much the situation as we do.

“Try to keep the hygiene of life”

Ksenia Kukoleva, psychologist

It doesn’t matter what type of person you are – an extrovert or an introvert – everyone has to adapt to new circumstances. Some find it easier, others harder. In any case, remember:

1. It doesn’t matter if you’re enjoying the isolation or feeling restless with anxiety, any reaction to what’s happening is completely normal. Do not compare yourself to others, because everyone has their own ways to adapt to a changed situation. Don’t beat yourself up for never taking any of the online courses or reading any of the books.

2. If you are overwhelmed with anxiety, do not rush to take drastic measures to correct the situation. For example, if you catch irritation in relation to a partner, this is not a reason to leave immediately. Instead, ask yourself the question: what can I do right now to make it easier for me? Put on your headphones and spend some time alone with your own thoughts? Read a book or call a friend?

3. Consider who can help you and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Perhaps there is a friend who will advise on legal issues that have arisen, for example, in connection with the loss of a job. Collect useful contacts where you can turn if the situation worsens. This will help you feel the ground under your feet again, give you strength to see possible solutions to the problem.

4. Try to maintain hygiene of life: get enough sleep, monitor nutrition and exercise. It’s not about exhausting yourself with training against your will, but minimal exercise in the morning or during the day will help relieve the accumulated psychological stress.