Fedya, a friendly and non-aggressive boy, really wants to be friends with his desk mate, Kolya. If one of the classmates does not write very neatly on the blackboard or stumbles, spills water, makes a mistake while reading, then Kolya will definitely comment caustically on what happened, and Fedya will willingly support his friend with loud laughter.
As already mentioned, several people become the instigators of bullying, all the rest are their followers. They gladly laugh at the failures of the outcast, hide his things in the toilet, pick up offensive nicknames, do not miss the opportunity to push him, insult him or defiantly ignore him and do not want to accept him in their games. Why do kind and sympathetic towards their loved ones children become tyrants for a peer who has not done anything bad to them personally?
First, the most of the guys obey the so-called herd mentality: «Everyone went, and I went, everyone pushed, and I pushed.» The child does not think about what is happening, he just participates in the general fun. It doesn’t occur to him what the victim feels at this moment, how hurt, hurt and scared she is.
Second, the some do so in the hope of earning favor with the class leader.
Third, some take part in baiting out of boredom, for the sake of entertainment (they will just as enthusiastically kick a ball or play tag).
Fourth, some children actively poison the outcast for fear of being in the same position or simply do not dare to go against the majority.
And finally, a small percentage of persecutors thus assert themselves, take revenge for their failures in something. They lack the energy to become instigators, but they willingly pick up someone else’s initiative. Most often, these are children who are bullied in the yard, offended by their elders, severely punished by their parents, they are unsuccessful in their studies and do not cause much sympathy among classmates. For example, Red from the story of V.K. Zheleznikova «Scarecrow» grimaces and clownishes, mocks who the rest will choose, so as not to become the object of ridicule from classmates. “Everyone is yelling and he is yelling, everyone is hitting and he is hitting if he doesn’t even feel like it.”
The following can be distinguished psychological characteristics of children who become stalkers:
- Not independent, easily influenced by others, lack of initiative.
- Conformists, always strive to follow the rules, certain standards (very diligent and law-abiding in everything related to school rules).
- They are not inclined to admit their responsibility for what is happening (most often they consider others to be guilty).
- Often subject to strict control by elders (their parents are very demanding, tend to use physical punishment).
- Egocentric, unable to put themselves in the place of another. They are not inclined to think about the consequences of their behavior (in conversations they often say: “I didn’t even think about it”).
- Unsure of themselves, highly value the “friendship” shown by the leaders of the class (in sociometric studies they receive the least number of choices, there are no mutual elections with anyone from the class).
- Cowardly and embittered.
Bullying a Child — Victims
The hero of the «Endless Book» by German writer Michael Ende is a ten-year-old boy hiding from his classmates chasing him in a bookstore. When asked by the owner of the shop why his classmates are bullying him, he replies: “I sometimes talk to myself … I come up with all sorts of stories, names and words that don’t exist, and all that.”
Indeed, there is always something in the victim that can alienate others, provoke attacks from them. They are not like the rest. See →