Most often, an outcast child is not so much physically attacked by peers as verbally. Moral violence includes threats of physical violence, blackmail and swearing (including name-calling). Blackmail is most often associated with a threat to tell adults about something, to give them some kind of offense of the victim if she does not fulfill the requirements of the persecutor. Also used as blackmail is the threat to stop being friends with the victim.
Six-year-old Yulia greatly valued her friendship with seven-year-old Rita, who threatened to break off their relationship if Yulia did not agree to exchange dolls, hairpins, etc. with her.
Stronger peers tend to resort to threats of physical harm against the victim in case of defiance. Intimidation may simply give pleasure to the pursuer, for example, he may chase the victim, threatening to beat him, but not seek to carry out the threat, being satisfied with the fright and humiliation of the other. But the most common form of violence in the children’s team is name-calling and insults — the so-called verbal aggression.
Name calling is the most common cause of bullying and fights in elementary grades. Third and fifth grade students who were asked to conduct an anonymous survey «Why do you dislike some of your classmates?» most often answered: «Because he (she) calls names.» It is the “name calling” by classmates that children who are rejected most often complain about. Moreover, they call names and insult not only the child-victim himself, they maliciously comment on his drawings, his things (“Well, he has a chest instead of a briefcase!”, “Did you find this suit in the garbage dump ?!”), insult his loved ones (discuss his relatives, give them offensive nicknames). The latter, perhaps, hurts the child more painfully than his own nickname.
Bullying a child — nicknames and teasing
Why do children so willingly repeat offensive, swear words? Firstly, they are attracted by the emotionality with which these words are pronounced by others. A swearing person usually “radiates” boundless self-confidence, his gestures are very expressive, a certain excitement and tension arise around him. Secondly, seeing that such words shock, anger, upset the person to whom they are addressed, children begin to use them to annoy and tease others. For them, swear words become another weapon of revenge. See →
Bullying a child — learning to resist
It is almost impossible to avoid the appearance of teasers in the children’s team, but it is necessary to deal with them.
Parents and educators should not disregard the situation of children calling each other names. The task of the teacher is to stop the appearance and use of offensive nicknames in the classroom. You can talk separately with the instigators, you can arrange a class hour on this topic. It is necessary to discuss with the victim why others call names (take offense at him, want to attract his attention?). See →