Family relations need to be improved, and there are at least two ways: grinding and building. The path of the heart and the path of the mind. Women’s and men’s approach to building relationships.
Let the first six months of your life together be not a trial, but a training marriage, in which your joint work would be BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS.
Usually no one builds anything: they met, fell in love, he confesses his love to her, they got married — and now they live as it turns out.
More often, relationships really develop themselves, unconsciously and spontaneously, and, as a rule, the contribution of a woman is more in this. Why?
Firstly, because this is her, female style of relationships.
This is a blurry and moving style. What was “yes” a minute ago, in two minutes can become both “maybe” and directly “no”. Men’s style is more simple-clear, clear-cut, but often overly straightforward and harsh.
Secondly, because women are generally more capable in the world of relationships.
Men can think well, but in a relationship you need to feel a lot. And where he does not understand anything, a woman feels everything that is needed, and leads to where she needs to go.
Therefore, the female path in relationships is the path of feeling, sometimes they say “the path of the heart”; the path is spontaneous or as if spontaneous, when everything turns out without discussion, as if by itself. Grinding each other on the go, according to the well-known principle: “The main thing is to get involved in the battle, and then …”
Well, the woman is interested in the family, and her strategy is understandable.
This is normal and good if everything worked out. And if not? Most often, it is precisely on the “path of the heart” that the family does not work for us: we are very different and our “hearts” are different, how much friction and clashes await us on this path!
Grinding through skirmishes is apparently too expensive. In addition, lapping obeys a gu.e.y regularity: whoever is stronger, he laps the other to himself. Makes another «for himself.»
«Way of the Heart» is beautiful. But the heart is changeable and fickle, like the wind, and, unfortunately, often cruel and selfish.
Not this way? Just listen to what is said «in the hearts» during domestic skirmishes! Everything from the heart — and to the very heart …
And it seems to me, as a man and a psychologist, that this “path of the heart” should be supplemented by the “path of the mind”, when it is necessary to talk and agree, at least on the main thing. It won’t be a life by the rules, it’s just a life with the rules. If the rules are reasonable, they will make family life easier, and in difficult times they will save it.