Brain integration is the task of a responsible parent

The achievements of modern neuroscience will be of great benefit to us if they become public domain. Concepts about them – even the most general ones – are simply necessary today for responsible parents, say child neuropsychiatrist Dan Siegel (Daniel J. Siegel) and child psychotherapist Tina Payne Bryson (Tina Payne Bryson). In their book Holistic Development of the Child’s Brain*, they explain why the coordinated development of different parts – integration – of the child’s brain is necessary and how to achieve this.

Here are their main ideas, outlined in the final part of the book.

Integrate the left and right hemispheres of the brain

Left + right = clarity and understanding. Brain development should be symmetrical: help your child use the potential of both the “logical” left brain and the “emotional” right brain so that they work together as a whole.

What you can do:

— A complex approach. When your child is upset about something, the first thing to do is address their emotions: right hemisphere to right hemisphere. Then, when he has a little mastery of himself and becomes more receptive, turn to his logic – that is, the left hemisphere: talk to him about what lessons can be learned from the situation or about discipline.

— To name means to tame. When your child is unable to deal with strong emotions, invite him to talk about what made him so upset. In this way, the hemispheres of the brain will provide each other with mutual assistance: the child will derive meaning from the experience and feel that he is in control.

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Integrate the work of the cortex and subcortical structures of the brain

In childhood and adolescence, the cerebral cortex is not yet fully formed, and control, especially in an emotional situation, can be intercepted by more primitive subcortical structures. Therefore, the harmonious development of the brain presupposes the most frequent appeal to the functions of the cortex.

What you can do:

— Interaction, not conflict. In a situation of great stress, turn to the higher centers of the brain instead of activating the lower ones. Instead of arguments like “Because I said so!” ask the child, offer an alternative solution, try to agree.

— Training. The development of a child’s brain is partly the work of the child himself: just give him opportunities for this. Play games like “What would you do?” and do not protect the child from difficult questions.

— More movement. If the child loses contact with his higher centers, the balance can be restored through physical activity.

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Integrate Memory

Teach your child to “manifest”, to be aware of the memories repressed into the subconscious. Then they will not exhaust his psyche, slowing down the development of the brain.

What you can do:

— A mental rewind of memories. Sometimes it is difficult for a child to talk about something unpleasant. Invite him to mentally rewind bad memories. This will give him pause and help him talk about what happened in a consistent way.

— Memory exercises. Brain development is much more intense if the child constantly practices the ability to remember. Ask him about what happened to him at every opportunity: in the car, at the dinner table, on a walk.

Integrate different parts of yourself

The harmonious development of the brain implies balance and self-control. When a child is obsessed with one aspect of his inner world, help him see other aspects and choose for himself what to focus on.

What you can do:

— “Everything passes”. Remind children that feelings come and go like clouds in the sky. The emotional state is not something permanent, emotions change all the time.

— Attention to yourself. Help children pay attention to their sensations, images, feelings, and thoughts.

— Exercises for “speculation”. Being aware of different aspects of their inner world helps children calm down and focus their attention on what they want.

Integrate yourself with others

The harmonious development of the brain is not least based on the ability of a person to social interaction. Find a connection with each other: create positive patterns of family communication.

What you can do:

— Please each other. Let there be more fun in the family and your children will get a positive experience of communicating with loved ones.

— Communication through conflict. View conflict not as an obstacle to be avoided, but as an opportunity to instill in children important communication skills: the ability to see the situation through the eyes of another person, read non-verbal messages and restore relationships.

* D. Siegel, T. Bryson «The Whole-Brain Child» (Delacorte Press, 2011).