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Opponents of the body-positive approach believe that this movement encourages people to eat unhealthy foods. But no outside influence will make us seize problems if we have other ways to deal with them in our arsenal, psychologist Yulia Lapina is sure.
What is body positivity, if you take a closer look at it? This movement does not impose a way of life, but only makes it possible to finally stop torturing yourself and others.
Often advice on how to live and eat is not at all a sign of caring for another, it only makes things worse. Saying that we care about the state of the one to whom we recommend this or that, we are only trying to justify our aggression. But if we really care about the health of a loved one, then it is important to remember that by shielding him from body-positive ideas, we will not help solve the problems that he usually copes with by overeating.
What makes us overeat really? And where does the love for your own body?
Bans don’t work
The first and foremost cause of eating disorders is the restrictive culture we live in.
Our brain most wants what we can not. Remember the story of Romeo and Juliet. They were ready to die, if only to be together despite the prohibitions. But if no one opposed their marriage, it is likely that Juliet would have cooled down to Romeo in a year. The same thing happens with nutrition. We dream of a cake when we sit on kefir. And then we break down and eat a harmful product.
And if we haven’t eaten cakes for 10 years, it’s hard for us to accept the fact that there’s nothing wrong with them. We are afraid that, having succumbed to the influence of, for example, body-positive ideas, we will start eating them and will not be able to stop. However, first of all, we need to shift the focus in order to restore confidence and regain self-esteem. Learn not to severely limit yourself, but to understand your real needs.
Why are we losing weight?
Most lose weight not to improve their health. 95% limit themselves in food to get rid of stigma, to get support, recognition. The desire for love that we once missed, the fear of being rejected again, is the soil on which eating disorders “bloom”.
And health here is in last place among the reasons for losing weight.
In addition, we sometimes misunderstand what a healthy lifestyle really is. It seems to us that as soon as we lose weight, we immediately become healthy. But more often than not, we are disappointed. After all, health is not only centimeters that measure the waist. First of all, this is internal and external well-being, caring for others, family relationships, interesting work, and medical care. Some women, having experienced medical abuse, then cannot bring themselves to see a doctor for a long time, and regular examinations are much more important than diets.
By losing weight, we will not resolve all the issues that concern us. But this is often forgotten. It seems to many that body positivity will exacerbate the problems that already exist. However, the fact is that no outside influences can actually help or harm if there is no prepared ground for them.
Body Neutrality
The goal of body positivity is primarily to help people stop obsessing over the body. But sometimes it can be difficult for us to love ourselves, especially if we are used to hating the reflection in the mirror. For those who find it difficult to immediately move on to love, there is the concept of body neutrality – that is, a calm attitude towards the body. With such an attitude towards oneself and others, the topic of the body is generally taken away from the agenda – it is not necessary to adore it, you can simply treat it as a given.
Indeed, not always hatred in an instant, as if by magic, turns into love. But try to get acquainted with the principles of body neutrality to get rid of obsessive thoughts about the body and food.
Norm and pathology
If you only eat steamed broccoli every day, is it possible to say that you are prone to an eating disorder? What if you’ve always eaten like this? Is it normal? To answer these questions, it is necessary to understand what is the norm for us, and what is already a problem. Indeed, in psychology and psychiatry there are no black-and-white diagnoses, as, for example, in cardiology.
Sometimes the same symptom can manifest itself both within the framework of the conditional norm and during the disease. A striking example is the state of psychosis, when we hear voices, see what is not there. We have no criticism – we take the phantom for reality. It is believed that a healthy person is not able to experience this. However, it is not. In a dream, we can ride a unicorn, talk to a long-dead grandmother. And assume that what is happening is normal. But our brain does not allow us to move, it slows down the body at the right time.
And in a person with a disease, the brain cannot stop this process in time.
This example shows where the boundary between normal eating behavior and disorder lies. The point is not that someone eats steamed broccoli, but that in the event of a disease, the brain cannot switch to other products due to anxiety and fear from broccoli. In the same way, there is no problem that someone has eaten a piece of cake. Another thing is if he cannot stop at one piece, scolds and hates himself for it.
Where the problems start
Problems begin not when we have a desire to eat right, but when our whole life begins to revolve and build around food and the body, filled with anxiety and fear of not fitting into certain standards. And, consequently, to receive less love and respect – both from others and from oneself.
What is the problem with any diet? Because it’s a journey with no final destination. Anyone who has lost weight is afraid to gain weight. Anyone who has gained weight wants to lose weight. Even losing the planned kilograms, we continue to think about weight.
This is partly why in 95-98% of cases after a diet we gain weight. And it’s not at all easy to stop running in circles, especially when everyone around is calling to give up flour, sweet, fatty, salty, dairy and gluten. And as we mentioned above, prohibitions only exacerbate cravings and provoke a breakdown …
And here bodypositive offers a choice: either rush from one extreme to another all your life and hate yourself for it, or allow yourself some freedom and free up resources – time, money, energy – in order to invest them in other areas, and not in endless diets. and gyms. And body positivity has the tools to help you finally break with the culture of restriction, or at least stop looking at your body with disgust.
