Contents
- Myth 1: Insecure women cross their ankles.
- Myth 2: Arms crossed is a sign of alienation
- Myth 3: If a woman laughs, then she likes a man
- Myth 4: Liars don’t make eye contact.
- Myth 5: The direction of the feet is an indicator of contact
- Myth 6: Smiling evokes affection
- Myth 7: Cross-legged standing is a celebrity fashion pose.
As the American anthropologist and founder of the science of non-verbal communication Ray Birdwhistel argued, all manifestations of the body carry a hidden meaning and none is accidental. But does the replicated «abc of body language» really help to accurately decode the behavior of others?
Myth 1: Insecure women cross their ankles.
A lot has been written about closed positions, and when we see a woman sitting with her ankles crossed, we assume that she is shy, uncomfortable, or simply does not want to communicate. In fact, legs tilted parallel to each other or legs crossed at the ankles are a textbook pose of the classical school of graceful manners, the pose of a respectable lady. It allows a woman to look fit and neat, while maintaining an impeccable posture. It is difficult to imagine Queen Elizabeth or the Duchess of Cambridge sitting in any other way.
Myth 2: Arms crossed is a sign of alienation
Many are used to believing that such a posture speaks of vulnerability, discomfort and alienation between interlocutors. Former FBI agent and non-verbal communication expert Joe Navarro notes that this hand position is common among politicians discussing an issue outside of public events and doctors exchanging advice in the hallway. Before assessing the negative potential of a posture, you need to know whether the interlocutors know each other well. The same posture of close acquaintances indicates concentration and interest in the topic under discussion. If the contact is brief, arms crossed may indicate shyness or arrogance, but it may also be an attempt to keep warm or find support in a chair without armrests.
Myth 3: If a woman laughs, then she likes a man
Women signal sympathy with their legs. Pushing her foot in the direction of the interlocutor, the woman talks about her location. If the company is unpleasant for her, her legs are under the seat. During sincere laughter, the legs become mobile, and it is easy to determine from them what is behind this laughter.
Myth 4: Liars don’t make eye contact.
By the elusive movement of the eyes, one can only reveal a child’s lie. An adult liar, who knows the basics of kinesics (a set of body movements used in the process of interaction. — Approx. ed.), Controls gestures, gaze and facial expressions, deceiving the interlocutor not only with words, but also with the body. More insistent and prolonged than usual, a look into the eyes betrays that the liar has overdone it. If you take lack of eye contact as an indicator of lying, you run the risk of slandering an introvert or a member of a culture whose etiquette equates prolonged eye contact with sexual or aggressive challenge.
Myth 5: The direction of the feet is an indicator of contact
Knowing the right moment to make contact is often decisive, and the position of the feet can be a useful clue, but it can also be disorienting. For example, at a crowded party where the guests have already broken into small groups, pay attention to the direction of the participants’ feet. The interlocutor, one of whose feet is directed not to the center of the group, but outward, most likely, is not particularly involved in the discussion. His attention wanders, which means he will get in touch with someone who will offer him an alternative dialogue. Dare!
Inference based on a single feature can be hasty
If the feet of all interlocutors of the company are directed inside the circle, this is tantamount to a locked door, the chances of easy and organic contact tend to be zero, and it is better to wait. A conclusion based on a single feature may be hasty. It is possible that the one whose posture you paid attention to has no control over his physical manifestations. Thus, an artist who has been sketching for years, holding an album on his lap, crossing his right foot over his left, will laugh at the suggestion that pointing at you with the toe of his right foot, he shows interest. The muscles of his body are so accustomed to this position that he cannot change his legs, it causes him discomfort.
Myth 6: Smiling evokes affection
Indeed, in the West, a smile is considered a rule of good manners, it is customary to start an acquaintance with it, it is accompanied by parting. We smile, even talking on the phone: the interlocutor «hears» our smile.
But it cannot be called a universal image tool. According to the research of the Polish psychologist Cuba Chris, in the following countries a smile is considered a sign of ignorance and stupidity: Japan, India (Kerala), Iran, South Korea, Russia, France, Israel, Mexico, Greece, India (Karnataka), Poland, South Africa (black population), Hungary. In the ranking of countries that honor a smile, the first place is occupied not by the United States, but by Switzerland.
Myth 7: Cross-legged standing is a celebrity fashion pose.
Celebrities often pose cross-legged on the red carpet: this position visually lengthens the legs. At the same time, she talks about passivity and the need for self-defense, behind her is the message: «I’m not ready to make a decision, but I’m not ready to leave.» So, if your task is to demonstrate leadership qualities and authority, you should not take such a pose.