What is taught in training on the technique of sex? Our correspondent decided to find out from her own experience. First person story.
18+
There are very brave editors among us, ready not only to take a bold step, but also to talk about their new experience. At our request, Natalya Istomina attended the training “The Art of Oral Sex” and once again she was convinced that knowledge helps to get rid of prejudices.
“A man loves with his eyes, so during a blowjob, put on a little show for him. For example, then round your back, then bend like a cat. And most importantly, every now and then look him in the eye. It doesn’t cost you anything, but he enjoys it.” The manner of speaking of the author and host of the training, Ekaterina Lyubimova, cuts the ear only at first. Probably, it is impossible to tell 20 unfamiliar women about the intricacies of oral sex otherwise. As my friend correctly noted, “humor is indispensable here.”
Who comes here?
I have been married for almost 10 years. So the idea of going “to some kind of erotic training” in order to rekindle the fire of passion was accepted with enthusiasm. My husband was even more excited about this idea. “You are there, most importantly, absorb everything they say,” he admonished when I went out of the apartment. “You’re going to save our marriage.” Who would have thought that everything is so serious …
“Come 10 minutes before the start,” advised the girl on the other end of the line when we signed up for the class. – And take an elastic band so that the hair does not interfere. Nothing else is needed. Drinks, exercise equipment and teaching materials will be handed out to you.” In advance, as we were asked, we approach the door with a small brass sign “Training Center”, go down to the basement, where we are escorted to one of the classes. Several girls are already sitting here. Seeing that they don’t have whips or stripper heels makes me relax a bit. The environment here is like any other training center, only there is no cell signal and no men’s room. All things must be left in the luggage room, you can’t even take your phone with you.
“No one will be happy to see a photo of themselves with a dildo in their mouth on the Internet,” my neighbor on the right remarks reasonably, a young girl in glasses with thick lenses and a button-down blouse. On the tables in front of each of us are pens, paper, artificial penises, silicone lubricant and condoms. I take a sip of warm, semi-sweet champagne from a plastic cup for courage.
Ekaterina Lyubimova starts the lesson with an introduction and asks each of us about the purpose of coming here. All of us – beautiful and not very, young and mature, married and unmarried – take turns talking about ourselves and answering her question. An innocent girl intends to impress the groom after the wedding, a young mother wants to return sex to the family (“when her husband was present at the birth, something closed in his head”), a self-confident blonde dreams of an affair with her boss and a promotion … It seems Technology for the sake of technology is of little interest to anyone. With its help, everyone wants to achieve different goals, including quite altruistic ones: for example, my friend and I just want to please our loved ones.
Manual control
Apparently, in order not to immediately move on to “working with the mouth”, the presenter suggests starting with manual techniques. “Always use lube,” Ekaterina insists. – Without it, your partner’s sensations can be painful. If you’ve applied lube and your partner isn’t responding to touch, it might be worth reducing the amount.” I never thought that lubrication is so important. It turns out that silicone is the longest-playing. Water-based lube is more natural, but it dries faster and can roll up. “If a man is not allergic, you can use vegetable oil,” I suggest. “It is unlikely that your partner will like it if you enter the bedroom every time with a liter bottle of Oleina,” the host retorts.
So, we apply silicone lubricant to the heads of silicone penises and get down to practical exercises. The simplest and, as it turned out, effective technique is the “Thai stretch”. You need to grab the penis with the fingers of one hand, like a banana, and hold it from the head to the base. Repeat the movements alternately with the right, then with the left hand. Something like this looks like the culmination of Thai erotic massage, which is offered in numerous specialized salons. This technique helps to bring any man to orgasm in a few minutes.
Another effective technique, which Ekaterina Lyubimova called “Rabbit”, looks like this: the bent index and ring fingers of the right hand wrap around the head on the right side and slide down the penis. Having reached the base, you need to run your thumb down the testicles and lightly slap the man on the pubis with the palm of the other hand. “So you imitate the sensations that a man is used to experiencing during intercourse,” the host explains. And he gets even more excited. If you want to relieve tension a little, move your hands in the opposite direction – from the base to the head.
We are so fond of studying “Pirouette”, “Pornodiva”, “Milady” and many other techniques that we completely cease to be shy of each other. And during the break, all together, inspired and slightly excited, we go to the local sex shop. For the first time in my life in this place I feel light and comfortable. Apparently others feel the same way. My neighbor on the right (the one in the button-down blouse) meticulously chooses small lace panties with a slit in the middle, my friend is passionately asking the saleswoman about the G-spot stimulator, and I am seriously thinking about buying vaginal balls. I am warmed by the thought that they can improve my mood and remind me that I am first and foremost a woman, at any moment: when deadlines are burning, work partners fail, or a child is naughty.
language course
We come to the second part of the training satisfied and relaxed. Even the prospect of putting a silicone phallus in my mouth in the presence of mostly unfamiliar women does not scare me. We practice “Bayan” (first the hand moves up, the head down, then vice versa), “Corkscrew” (the hand and mouth spin in the opposite direction), “Vacuum” (as if you are drinking through a straw) and a couple of dozen other techniques.
For dessert, Ekaterina leaves the most delicious dish: a deep throat blowjob. Delicious for men, not for women. Ekaterina gives us barberries, “to lubricate the throat”, advises us to yawn, “to relax the muscles.” Some flatly refuse to try, one girl even leaves, a friend grumbles nearby: “No, well, this can be done accidentally in a fit of passion, but this way on purpose, and even with a piece of silicone …” After several attempts, I realize that the average level of skill I have is quite arranges.
It’s time for questions. I talk about the sore: “My jaw is cramping. What to do?” “Nothing to do. It reduces everything for everyone, ”Ekaterina upsets me. “I constantly scratch my young man with my teeth,” a charming red-haired girl shares her difficulties. “Do you need to cover them with your lips?” “It’s not worth it with your lips – your face does not change for the better …” One of the adult women interrupts the host, who was silent throughout the lesson: “My husband and I solved this problem: I use a boxing mouthguard.” Having imagined this picture, my friend and I slowly crawl under the table.
Training results
My mother often told me as a child, “We always like to do what we are good at.” So, I thought that I didn’t like to give a blowjob, in fact, I didn’t know how. The attitude of different women to oral caresses is perfectly illustrated by the dialogue from the Sex and the City series. “I don’t like to put foreign objects in my mouth, I immediately get a gag reflex,” says Charlotte. “This is not the most favorite dish, but if not abused and with a good sauce, then it can be very even nothing,” says Carrie. “The main thing is to feel the power: even though you are on your knees, all the main levers are in your hands,” Samantha is sure. Before the training, my opinion on this matter from time to time coincided with the opinion of Charlotte, then with the opinion of Carrie. After the training, I increasingly began to think about blowjobs like Samantha.
Why do many men love blowjobs so much?
There is more intimacy in a blowjob than in some sexual acts. The willingness to caress a partner with lips and tongue shows how great the closeness and trust in a couple are. “During oral sex, all the woman’s attention is focused on the penis,” says sexologist Catherine Blanc (Catherine Blanc). – She caresses him with her mouth and hands, and many men are deeply moved by this. Pleasure is born not only from the excitation of nerve endings, but also from the fantasies of a man: he finds himself in the position of a breadwinner who gives seed – an image from early childhood, when he, as an infant, was delighted with the omnipotence of his mother’s breast. The appearance of a woman in a subordinate position also adds excitement – a classic porn plot … ”
Oral caresses – why sex is incomplete without them
Sex is the closest intimacy of partners that can be, after platonic and spiritual, of course. But more frank and holistic bodily connection is made by oral caresses. If you want to give your man a thrilling experience and learn how to give an awesome blowjob, forget about stiffness and disgust, and drive away the thought that this is immoral, disgusting, depraved, sinful and vulgar. Everything that two people like is acceptable and beautiful, regardless of the attitudes of society.
A good proper blowjob benefits both partners.
For a man, blowjob means:
- Proof of the frankness of relationships, love and a woman’s sincere desire to give her beloved man pleasure to the fullest. For many, touching lips and tongue to spicy erogenous zones, partner’s genitals is more intimate and exciting action than sexual intercourse itself.
- Brighter and deeper orgasms. During sexual intercourse, the muscles of the male body, in most sexual positions , are tense. Accordingly, it is harder for him to relax and get the most colorful orgasm. While preliminary oral caresses allow the guy to bliss, stretch out the pleasure and feel the orgasm more vividly already during intercourse.
Oral caresses in the context of love, intimacy and the desire for mutual pleasure transfer pleasure to the woman herself by 50-70%. Similar to when you give someone a gift or hear a cat purring in response to strokes.
For a woman, a blowjob is:
- Increasing self-esteem and self-confidence. Believe me, you will not only become a priestess of love and an unsurpassed debauchee in his eyes, but you will also enjoy the facet of fatal femininity revealed in yourself.
- Strengthening relationships through a variety of sex. As a rule, experiments, actualization of fantasies and the realization of each other’s desires allow you to maintain passion and a strong bond between partners.
- The opportunity to become even more aroused by yourself, play out a sexual fantasy and reach a bright orgasmic discharge. And only by touching the lips and tongue to the male intimate organ (if your oral erogenous zones are extremely active).
Rules and secrets of a good blowjob
Sometimes you can drive your lips back and forth along the male genitalia for a long time and hard and not achieve the desired result. An intimate organ will either stand or fall, and your tired jaws will give up faster than you get to the finish line. How to learn how to make an enchanting blowjob – we reveal the secrets.
More feelings
Remember, oral sex is the same sex as any other manifestation of it. Sluggish, unemotional and reluctant blowjob causes the same erection – none, as well as a motionless female body. Therefore, if you want a guy to like a blowjob, do it with feeling, passion, love. Just as if you were licking delicious ice cream, latte foam or whipped cream :).
Laconic Prelude
Avoid continuous penis play. A man is turned on by light flirting, an affair, unobtrusive hand stroking on trousers or underwear, further along the penis and testicles, touching the lips in the intimate area … But this is where the prelude to blowjob and flirting should usually end. A too long opening can completely cool the ardent mood.
Golden mean
During a blowjob, many women make typical mistakes: they neglect to stimulate the head of the penis, testicles, scrotum, or vice versa, hyper concentrate only on specific areas, squeeze the flesh in the mouth too hard, caress monotonously and the same type (which quickly becomes boring in a relationship with a regular partner).
Therefore, in order not to cease to amaze and delight a man with oral sex, practice different blowjob techniques and hone the skills of techniques that your partner likes the most to the ideal. Let him feel your tongue everywhere, not only on the penis, but also in adjacent areas.
Feel free to ask your partner what kind of feelings and sensations this or that oral sex delivers to him. Remember, sex is a dialogue through which a man, like a woman, perfects their sexual relationship.
gentle approach
Whatever blowjob technique you perform, try not to bite your cock with your teeth. Sometimes men like rudeness, biting, tight squeezing, but these should be single, periodic techniques, but not scribbling on tender flesh.
good lubrication
Cool correct blowjob should be wet. Don’t be afraid to spit, be afraid to dry it out. Dry oral caresses not only do not bring pleasure, but also cause discomfort and pain to a man. Moisture—saliva or oral lube—subconsciously sends him a signal that the woman is aroused and turns the man on even more.
Sound accompaniment
Silent sex can be compared even with an emotional, but still silent movie. If your man loves to hear the sounds of pleasure and sweet bliss, don’t hold back on your loud impressions.
final sip
Whether to “drink up” a man to the end is a decision for a woman. If she is not ready to complete oral sex “to the last drop”, it is better for a man not to rush her and, moreover, not to insist on it.
You should not break loose and run like a bullet to the bathroom as soon as a man has an orgasm. You can refuse to “reception of a protein shake inside” more delicately, without offending your partner and without interrupting bodily contact. For example, gently spit out the liquid into a pre-prepared towel. As an option, offer the guy to throw out his orgasm to his partner on the face or chest, which is no less spectacular and delightful.
Secret practice
“Train on cats!” is not only a popular expression, but also good advice :). For beginners – especially in “deep throat” oral sex – we recommend fixing the lessons of practice, nevertheless, on dildos. They are available in different sizes and textures, so it is very easy to choose the most identical to the real one.
Addition
Supplement the game with sponges and tongue with a vibrator. In parallel, a man can stimulate the perineum between the penis and anus, the scrotum, shaft, or apply a vibrator to his throat when performing the “deep throat” technique, transmitting vibration to the penis. Additional tools can also serve as nozzles on the penis, chilled beads, silk ribbons, shower jets.
Women’s Initiative
There is hardly a man who would refuse a good blowjob. Especially when a woman herself takes the initiative. Therefore, if oral sex gives your boyfriend an explosive sensation, do not wait for an invitation. And it is better to do it playfully, unobtrusively, unpredictably …
Hygiene
Observe the hygiene of both the genitals and the oral cavity. Mucous membranes represent an ideal environment for the accumulation and reproduction of microbial flora. Not to mention the possible unpleasant odors that do not stimulate sexual activity in the best way. Therefore, the couple needs to be responsible for each other’s intimate health.
Protection
Remember, unprotected oral sex may protect against unwanted pregnancy, but not from sexually transmitted diseases (syphilis, herpes, HIV). Therefore, with a frequent change of sexual partner, if you are not sure of his health, blowjob is strongly recommended to be done only with protection.
During oral contact, viruses and infections can be transmitted through microcracks that are invisible to the eye. The best protection during a blowjob is a condom.
Best suited latex condoms for oral sex – smooth, regular thickness and shape, with a pleasant taste and aroma. And so that the barrier does not dull the man’s sensitivity and pleasure, a woman should caress the intimate zones more intensively, complementing the action of her mouth and hands with vibrating sex toys.
Tricks
1. Change the temperature. To give a man a new sensation, you can put Rondo, Tic Tac or Halls cooling lozenges on the tongue. Sweet sucking candies will not work: they are sticky. In addition, you can take a sip of unsweetened hot tea. A warm mouth is a completely different feeling.
2.Add bubbles. This blowjob is best practiced in the bathroom: take a sip of cold champagne from a glass (do not swallow it) and suck on the head of the penis. Sip champagne every time it runs out or runs out of steam. “One blowjob takes half a bottle,” warns Ekaterina Lyubimova. – Alcohol can be replaced with soda. Perrier is the best: it has the “right” small bubbles.”
3.Connect the sex toy. One of the secret sexual fantasies of many men is a threesome, where two men and one woman. Often they do not even admit it to themselves, but such a picture excites them incredibly. To stage group sex, attach a suction cup dildo that looks like a real penis to your bedroom or bathroom mirror (like The Real Feel). “Be careful: the artificial penis should be smaller than the real one,” advises Ekaterina Lyubimova. “Otherwise, watching what is happening, a man may feel discomfort, not pleasure.”