You can watch with interest how others experience, if you understand why they do it. In particular, when it is clear: a person is worried in order not to pay (or pay less) for the damage caused to him.
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The benefits of problems are those advantages that a person has in connection with a problem, for the sake of which people often create, maintain and experience their own problems, in connection with which people prefer to realize their difficulties in the format of problems, and not in the format of ordinary life difficulties or difficulties, not in the format of creative tasks.
Children do not use the word problem. Growing up, children begin to actively use this concept when they need to worry, relieve themselves of responsibility and attract attention. For someone to help them. To do it not by him, but by someone else. If this becomes a habitual mode of action, an experiential personality is formed. Such people often come up with problems for themselves, thereby attracting attention to themselves. See →
People often (albeit unconsciously) look for and create problems for themselves in order to solve some problems, to receive certain benefits.
Problems are not only troubles, problems can bring some benefit to a person from the other side. You can complain about life, you can refuse some previous obligations under the pretext of a problem or demand more from another person …
Benefits of Problem Manipulative Games
Example from E.Bern
The game «What a horror!» plays out most dramatically among people seeking to have surgery, and their transactions show all the signs of a game. These people «buy» doctors and seek operations, despite the opposition of doctors. For them, hospital stays and surgery are associated with certain benefits. The internal psychological benefit is due to the fact that their body is damaged; the external psychological benefit is that they avoid all intimacy and responsibility; The entire responsibility lies with the surgeon. The biological benefit is embodied in the care of nurses. Internal social benefit is provided by other healthcare professionals and patients. By leaving the hospital, the patient derives an external social benefit in the form of sympathy and reverence for his suffering. In its extreme form, this game is played professionally by people who claim to be the victim of an accidental or deliberate medical error. At the same time, they demand not only sympathy, like amateur players, but also compensation for material damage. Thus, «What a horror!» becomes a game in which the player outwardly feigns despair, but inwardly rejoices that he can profit from his misfortune.