Contents
- 1. Sometimes we don’t want to be the life of the party.
- 2. We are not always ready to take the initiative
- 3. It’s hard for us to be alone for a long time.
- 4. We also need company to work
- 5. We act first and think later
- 6. We force others to talk about our problems.
- 7. We like to imitate the behavior of others.
Most of the time – about 90% – being a sociable person is pretty good, but in the remaining 10%, you really want to close the door and turn off the lights. Here it is, the whole life of an extrovert in one sentence. And when you have to communicate with someone in these 10% of the time, it can be difficult. About what other situations extroverts have a hard time, says blogger Michael Bernolak.
It happens that I am not in the mood to communicate – especially with a large group of people. I just want to immerse myself in my own thoughts or watch others. However, my friends are used to the fact that I have to be the ringleader and chatter incessantly.
Usually we take on the role of “leaders” at any party, and if we suddenly behave differently, everyone immediately begins to be surprised and offended. Nothing personal – sometimes we just need to be introverts. In general, being an extrovert is very good – except for a few situations.
1. Sometimes we don’t want to be the life of the party.
Even if I came to the event, perhaps right now I need time to be alone with myself and sort out my own thoughts. This means that I will not participate in the discussion of an interesting topic and will not start from the “having a good time” threshold. I, too, sometimes need to get comfortable, “warm up”.
Friends in such cases immediately begin to think that something is wrong, that I feel bad or bored with them. This is not true. It’s just that we are not always able to chat incessantly about trifles and poison stories. It happens that I suddenly feel the need to be alone right in the middle of the evening.
Yes, it seems strange, but what can you do. Sometimes all I dream about is putting on my headphones and immersing myself in a video game for a couple of hours.
2. We are not always ready to take the initiative
Everyone is waiting for us to start talking. It is assumed that in any company it is we who should play the role of “social lubricant”: to urgently greet everyone and reacquaint everyone.
And usually we don’t mind. But not always. Sometimes we also need a break, and at such moments it is especially difficult to be in a company where the conversation does not go well, and to know that all hope is only on you.
And people are waiting. People think that you are about to pull the trump card out of your sleeve, and the conversation will finally go on the right track. This is very tiring.
3. It’s hard for us to be alone for a long time.
Some of my five year old friends can live alone. I can’t imagine how they do it. I would go crazy. Yes, I’ve already said that sometimes we need a break, but when an extrovert is forced to be alone, it’s a nightmare.
At such moments, we need company – any. Someone to talk to. Or have a snack. And if there is no such person, we become bored and lonely. It happens that I write to all my friends, I offer to meet, but none of them can, and it’s terrible.
I just need someone to share my mental chatter with. You can, of course, just call a friend, but if you just hung out together yesterday, it may look strange.
4. We also need company to work
I love working with others—whether we’re doing a common thing or sitting quietly in the corners of a room. I just like the closeness of other people. I love when you can ask a question and get an answer right away.
But when there is no one around, or there are people, but they don’t like to work in a team, it’s hard. For me, situations like this are really stressful. Teamwork can be a real pleasure, but, alas, you never know what kind of partners you will get.
5. We act first and think later
It happens that someone shares their position on an important issue – for example, a political one – and I would like to remain silent, but it just bursts me. I can’t resist my opinion. Sometimes this leads to serious disputes and frictions – where they are completely unnecessary. Now it’s better, but before, I constantly had to apologize for what I blurted out.
6. We force others to talk about our problems.
I like to talk about my feelings, delve into them. If I’m agitated, I can “sit” on someone’s ears for half an hour or more. Perhaps the interlocutors are trying to hint that they would like to chat with someone else or leave altogether, but I simply do not notice these signals.
I also used to draw parallels between my problems and what others are facing, and vice versa, but not everyone likes this. But the thing is, I’m not doing this to pretend I understand my counterpart – I really want to help.
I want a person to open up, but others do not always want this. Respecting the boundaries of others is very important, but I rarely succeed.
7. We like to imitate the behavior of others.
Those who love to communicate often adopt the mannerisms, gestures, and communication skills of those they like. It happens quite quickly and unconsciously. If I like how someone jokes or draws analogies, I adopt it. Friends notice this and often think that I am behaving somehow strangely.
Before, people around me constantly told me: “You have changed so much!” And I have always perceived and perceive this as positive feedback: it means that I am doing everything right. True, not everyone likes it. Some people think that I’m trying to act differently to impress someone. But no. It’s just me. I am that I am. Although sometimes it’s hard to be me.